shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

What wouldn't apply?

...what's poop?

 

-snrk- Classy.

How should I know when grey people can drink? Twenty year olds are adults and they can't drink some places. Anyway, have one, this bar makes everything.

 

"Oh, right, I forgot, you guys are mechanoids." Lissa grins. "Also I thought you were gonna wake up. In a lot of organics the waste elimination ports are close enough to what you'd call the interface array that the sensations are nice either way."

 

Weird.

 

I'M A TROLL. MUCH MORE SPECIFIC THAN "GREY PEOPLE" WHICH CAN RANGE ANYWHERE FROM ME TO SENTIENT GREY GOO. WORDS WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE!

AND I'M NINE, WHICH IS ABOUT TWENTY IN YEARS, BUT THERE IS QUITE LITERALLY NO ONE WHERE I'M FROM WHO HAS THE AUTHORITY TO TELL ME WHAT DUBIOUS SUBSTANCES I CAN OR CANNOT INGEST. I FIGURE, ALMOST DIE COUNTLESS TIMES MAKING UNIVERSES AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

[he summons something obnoxiously colored and frosty]

 

Spoiler: don't learn anatomy from porn, kids

...wait, that's not a weirdly-non-self-lubing second valve? I really need to put in a request for, like, nature documentaries or some slag the next time we hit a station 'jacking Earth's wifi, clearly relying on everyone else's taste has failed me.

And yo, happy birthday dude! [Wires is not going to add more glitter to the pile, but he will absolutely magic up a big fluffy birthday cake by @WRENCH and his friendpile. God only knows what it tastes like, because this robot sure doesn't.]

 

Ok, Troll then. -toasts him with her drink- Drink up and relax some.

 

Lissa giggles. "I guess in a way it's kind of both, but no, that's not ALL that is." She glances at the cake. "Hey, Marcus, you should totally put frosting on Wrench! I promise it's better than glitter. Especially since you can taste sugar as well as the fat."

 

THIS *IS* RELAXED FOR ME. THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT? SHALL I PUT ON MY BEACH GEAR AND MAKE OBNOXIOUS HAND GESTURES WHILE SAYING INANE SHIT LIKE "COWABUNGA" AND "GNARLY"? THEN WILL I FINALLY ACHIEVE YOUR VAGUE AND NEBULOUS DEFINITION OF RELAXATION?

 

Spoiler: gif

 

Y'all don't have edible glitter? I'm almost sad for you except that it's about as much fun as eating any other particulate :P

 

-Clover drops a box of cupcakes on Wrench.-

Happy birthday.

 

!_!
[Cake AND cupcakes AND glitter AND alcohol? He is in hog heaven right now.]

 

They're pretty rich, so share them with your friends. I made 9.

 

We do in fact! It's just not the same shit as the other glittery shit! -sprays more digiglitterfetti errywhere! With more kazoo noises!-

 

Whatever makes you happy!

-snrk-

You heard her, share! -attempts to steal a cupcake-

 

[Congrats, you made Wires' shins glittery. He laughs.] Jetfuel. Humans can't eat broken glass and tiny shrapnel? Next you'll be tellin' me you don't eat rocks either! :P

 

We eat rocks.

 

Wait, what--? Really?

 

Salt.