shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-caution and concern. She's all covered up in her travelling browns, dirt darkening her hands and feet, hair hidden, eyes in shadow.-

-she does not need this here. She does not need this anywhere. She does not need this on a train. She does not need this in the rave-

 

-why is she snickering?-

 

-ear twitches-

Huh?

 

You look like forestfolk. Wishing your family was witches. It's funny.

 

Lissa spins down the pole and jumps.

 

It would be, yes. Even I barely get it, and I've known them both for...

[She clucks her tongue against the roof of her mouth.]

The better part of five and a half decades? Or years, whatever'd be easier to understand as a relation of time. Most of my life, more or less.

Just know that they are powerful people who fawn over Daddy and would do anything to avoid making him cry. I'm certain you can relate to having people that protective exist, hm~? <3

[She does not need this, Celinri. She does not need this, leave her be.]

[Still oblivious, thankfully.]

 

Well, I guess I'm "forest folk"? We're right next to one in Possum Springs. Unless this is some sort of, I dunno, fairy thing? Over the river and through the woods, on the way to Granny's house. Except we took the wrong turn and oh wow look at that house made of candy.

...

You're 50?!

 

Ford knows Lissa is perfectly capable of landing on her feet, but catches her anyway.

"I'm a chaos magician," he offers. "Is everything all right?" He glances from the cat, to the woman, to the fey girl, and then to the pale demon. And then back up at Kablooey, and over at Karkat.

 

I'M GLAD MY FAILURES AS A SENTIENT BEING ARE AT LEAST RELATABLE. PERHAPS WE CAN TEAM UP AND WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED FORM A GLOWING BEACON OF STUPID. A SUCK SINGULARITY. A TERRIBLE TEMPLE.

 

"Not everyone ages at the same rate." Lissa's ears are pricked up, in a friendly, interested way.

 

A misfortune mountain? A flubbing ford?

...so...fairies?

Wow. I really am dead.

 

Closer to seventy, but that'd require keeping closer track than I do.

And no, not a fairy, though friends with some. <3

 

WHAT ABOUT A "CALM AND HAPPY FUNTIMES MAGICIAN"

WE COULD USE ONE OF THOSE AROUND HERE! LESS CHAOS. MORE LAWS OF PHYSICS. NOW, I'M SURE YOU'RE SAYING TO YOURSELF "LAWS OF PHYSICS? RIDICULOUS!" AND I KNOW. BUT HEAR ME OUT. WHAT IF, ONCE EVER, THINGS HAD RULES AND WE COULD RELY ON THEM. WOULDN'T THAT BE FUCKING NOVEL?

I LIKE ALMOST NO ONE, BUT YOU ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE TOLERABLE THAN SOME OF THE OTHER JOLLY CHUCKLEFUCKS I'VE MET HERE.

WE WILL BE LED BY THE DISASTER DEITY.

 

Very much a faerie thing.

But the house is bone, not candy.

And the bird called after her 'Pretty maiden, be bold but not too bold'

 

DO NOT MAKE HOUSES OUT OF US!

 

-eye contact made, maintained, broken. This is defiance, distilled "don't you fucking dare." Headshake. Sorry rev!Ford, this is not the flirty demon Lav (she's missing the impressive rack, for one and her eyes are two steps from hurricane) and she'd rather you didn't give her away because she's not having a panic attack. Nope. Totally not.-

 

This is so weird.

Together we'll try to do battle against the local Forest God. And probably just. Trip into the abyss or something. All in the name of Markaaaz, Lord of Failure.

Oh, well that's much safer sounding. By a lot.

I guess I'm not "forest folk" then. I'm just a regular non-fairy type person. Dropped out of college. Went back to live with her parents. Likes to walk on powerlines. The norm.

 

When you consider Daddy was mid-sixth century when he had me, I'm not that old, so it's really not that weird.

[An attempt at normalization was made.]

 

-just stares blankly. her ear continues to twitch. the right one always does-

 

[She's just looking down and clearing her throat a bit.]

So, if not fairy, are you a shifter? Or just a cat?

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