shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I resent that, they aren't undies! They're shorts! And they're special made for maximum field of movement!

Thank you! And I've not seen him, is he missing? Where was the last place you saw him, and have you told the police about his disappearance?

 

FTFY.

 

I only represent justice!!!

 

I won't here, I don't think I can anyway.

[Congrats, you have gotten a 35-foot-tall alien war machine to squeak like a mouse.] Um! What kind of justice?

 

[flatly unimpressed expression]

GET-A-LOAD-OF-THIS-GUY CAM

 

OF COURSE HE'S MISSING! WHY ELSE WOULD I BE LOOKING FOR HIM?

SNOWDIN!

I HAVE TOLD PRACTICALLY EVERYONE ABOUT HIS DISAPPEARANCE!

AND I HAVE HEARD THAT HE IS IN UNDER WHERE, FASCINATING I'M SURE, YOU'RE BLUE ASSHOLE, THE OTHER HOLE, BOFA, THE BANK OF AMERICA, SOUTH CAROLINA, MY CAVERNOUS AND DECIDEDLY EMPTY SKULL, WITH ANOTHER PAPYRUS, AND IN THE LIQUID WASTE. BUT I HAVE NOT FOUND HIM IN ANY OF THOSE PLACES.

 

Protecting the innocent, putting criminals behind bars! The only justice that matters!

Oh yeah, what do you know of justice?

 

[somehow, his expression gets even more unimpressed]

YOU ARE SPEAKING TO SOMEONE PERSONALLY ACQUAINTED WITH TEREZI "JUSTICE IS MY KINK" PYROPE. THIS ISN'T A PISSING CONTEST YOU WANT TO HAVE.

 

... Behind... bars....? [Confused head-tilt.] I mean. That sounds nicer than the Justice Division, but... How does engex stop people from being traitors? Besides not being able to do too much if they get overcharged, I mean.

 

Have no fear, citizen! I'll have the best detective in the world on it in no time!!

Don't know who that is but uh, they do have me beat on that subject.

Bars as in prison! And, uh.... what's engex? Is that some kinda fancy term for sentence?

 

What's prison? Engex is-- uh, a kind of drink? Makes your brain go all spinny, too much makes you purge or offline for a while? I don't like it much, or at least not the kinds we've found before! Sweet stuff is better.

 

Oooooh. So it's alcohol, basically? Prison is where we lock up all the criminals to serve out sentences for their crimes! It's where all the villans me and Batman catch go - there, or Arkam Asylum.

 

Isn't alcohol a cleaning thing?? And how do you serve a bunch of words strung together? Are words edible in your part of space?

 

[karkat is delighted at this series of miscommunications, and pulls out the grubcorn to watch]

 

Alcohol is... in some cleaning things? But it's used mostly as a drink that... uh, "clouds the mind and judgement". It's basically a different word for Engex!

Oh boy. I mean a sentence as like, what a judge decides is good punishment for a criminal. Jeez, this is starting to confuse me!

 

NEENER.

 

Judge??? I thought judge was an action word, like, "I'm judging you"?? Is that a title for your species, like Maker or Builder or Scout? Why would there be more than one punishment anyway? Like, different execution methods sure, that's kinda what the JD do, but it's still all dying.

???

 

THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS. I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND I'M SOME INTERDIMENSIONAL EXPERT, BUT SCHADENFREUDE IS A POWERFUL MISTRESS.

 

Shade-Froid...?????

 

Well I - woah! Wait a minute, execution? We don't execute criminals here!! They sometimes get life sentences, but we don't kill people. That's strictly against code!