shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

OH, THE IRONY. "WERE YOU FINDING THIS FUNNY, KARKAT? WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT!" THANKS, UNIVERSE. REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

IT'S A FANCY WORD FOR "I THINK IT'S FUNNY WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE DO STUPID SHIT"

 

?????? Why not?? I mean, I guess making them leave alone might work too, but I don't think standards swarm anyway so??? Maybe that's why the bosses don't consider that??

 

Oh! Okay!

 

[He is still breathing heavily with barely contained squeeing. God, why. Who let this mad man back into the rave.]

NOT THIS WAY NOT LIKE THIS. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG ITS BEEN? AGES! FUCKIN'! FUCKING AGES!!!

Ssssssomething like that, let's just say I'm a big fan, the biggest fan in fact, no that's not true, I'm SPidey's biggest fan ANYWAY.
Can I have an autograph? My gun or my butt, your choice, boy wonder.

[he bounces a little. SUCH! A CLASSIC LINE!]

 

Uh, what do you mean by 'swarm'?

Oh, I'm flattered! And, uh... I'll go with your gun, haha.

 

Um. [Gr-- don't groom your own face. He ruffles his wings instead.] Insecticons, my frame type, we-- think better in big groups? Feels safer, better reaction times, and we don't need to talk so much. Wires could explain it better, he knows brain stuff. But anyway being cut off from the group if you're not made to handle it is-- almost as bad as dying? Especially if you don't have anywhere else to go. It's not safe to be alone. And other frametypes, they, uh, they don't do that, like, I can't just sync up with Wires or Glow, we actually have to talk plans out. So. I don't know if being separated from their squad would actually... do anything to standards?

 

[He holds out something that is very big and probably only counts as gun if you squint and are very generous. Shhhhhhhh rocketlaunchers are guns too.]
I will treasure this one forever and ever and ever and ever repeat ad infinitum listen speechbubbles only have limited spa-

 

-ce. HEY!
Hold on boy wonder, gimme just a sec, I need to fire my typesetter by WHICH I MEAN SET HIM ON FUCKING FIRE

 

Ooooh. That is pretty complex. I fought a group of aliens that were kinda like that... come to think of it, they actually resembled you guys in a lot of ways. Huh......

[He pulls out a red and greed colored permanent marker from his utility belt, eyeing the 'gun'.]

Holy disproportional punishment, dude! Isn't that going a little, over the top?

 

But why would you burn a perfectly good corpse???

I mean. If you fought insecticons and lived, you're pretty special? But I don't think we got sent to Earth. You are human, right? You look human.

 

... Have you SEEN me? Helloooo? Red leather hugging the greatest ass this side of the multiverse, badass katanas a rocketlauncheeeeeeee-Iiiiiii mean perfectly normal personal handgun? What about that says "reasonably designed comic book character" to you? I mean look at all these POUCHES I have no idea what the fuck I even have in half of these!

Shit, fuckin-
The bug is right! The bug is right, what was I THINKING!

 

[Flatly:] "The bug" is named Thunderwing.

 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
MOTHERF-
THAT'S SUCH A COOL NAME WHAT THE FUCK

 

[Thunders perks up.] !!! Thank you!! I chose it myself!!

 

Yeah, I'm human! And I don't think they were insecticons but they were bots of some kind! They all had a hive-mind, so I guess that's why they seemed familiar.

How do you not know what's in your pouches? Isn't that counter productive?

Also, what's your name - I don't think you mentioned it.

 

Huh. I don't thiiiiink we were based off anything else? But that might just be Lord [a string of untranslated but clearly derogatory bugchitter] not wanting to admit he's not totally perfect and unique always forever.

 

Hell yes! HELL YES!
I'm the motherfucking Deadpool, Merc with a mouth, etc etc, look no one can expect me to remember all this shit, I'm incredible is the point. But not The Incredibles, no no no, that would be one hell of a copyright infringeme- waiiiiiit a second, WAIT A SECOND.
... Nope wait 20th Century Fox foiling me again, MOVING ON FROM SMASHED CROSSOVER DREAMS.
[He strikes a pose leaning against Thunderwing's leg]
Nooow my adorably insectoid robot friend with the cool ass name, what is it that you do with your time?

 

One: I mean I guess????? But also! Surprise burritoes! ... Surprise burrito leftovers! Okay I just can't say taht with quite the same enthusiasm. Anyway I like getting surprised by the content of my pouches it's like a goddamn pinata but without most of the fun parts.
Annnnnd Two: That would be Deadpool, like unalived and swimming or betting, not polio. Skull-Poop-L. FUCK I need emoji support here, does ANYONE HERE have emoji's handy?

 

Woah! You speak bug??

Haha, I can see how that'd be pretty cool.

Deadpool, huh? That's a kick-ass name! [He freezes, looking around the area nervously for a moment.] Ok, if you see Batman do not tell him I just said that. It'll be patrol duty and nothing else for a week!

 

Why is there a red-leather wearing Wrench?
Never mind.