shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[She flips a coin. The coin toss evidently tells her it is time for STRONG SPIRITS. by which she means engex. Lots of it. And the kind where the fumes cause mild optic glitching just from getting too close to the glass.]

 

Also this. We eat the dead on Caminus, obviously.

 

Pfffft, I know I'm a criminal. Good luck trying to fight these assholes legally. Only way we can fight is to cheat, steal, and blow shit up.

Most of the blowing up happens after dark when it's just guards. The skyscraper was an exception because people needed to see it! If we blew it up in the middle of the night it wouldn't have been the same as at noon while we hijacked all the big TVs in the city and exposed their crimes.

 

I mean. All my people share food! We just don't have a lot all the time and besides I'm always hungry, if I just ate energon whenever I wanted to they'd starve...

Yes!!! Geargrind gets it!!!

[Hiss at the bad smell. Hisssssss.]

 

Yes.

Besides, this juvenile human doesn't seem to understand that you were at war. Killing during war is just war. It might not be good overall, but... it's not like you're bad.

 

Oh patch your slag, I'm not making you drink the hullcleaner.

 

Were? The war is still happening though?

 

Smells bad. I can't even eat you when you're done with that, make it smell better.

 

That... depends on when you consider a war to be over?

 

Stream says Tarn says war is still happening so we still have orders? [Thunderwing is sufficiently fussed to actually self-groom now, running claws over his own face and the prongs of his helm.]

 

No. This is how we de-sin monsters from the inside out, didn't you know.
[She's only mostly joking]

 

-he makes a very expressive face for a spider that conveys his less than stellar opinion of Tarn-
Of course he would be like that!!!

 

Yes... historically wars don't tend to actually end all at once. Basically, the war is over when everyone agrees to stop fighting. It sounds like MOSTLY people have agreed to stop fighting, but some people haven't. And this is on both sides, mind, I'm not singling you out.

 

-blows a raspberry-
Whatever, Captain!!! Humans are always gonna be weird about us!!!

 

You were talking about how the Camiens dealt with their energy shortage earlier, right? Why don't we like, pick up where I dropped in and interrupted. Whoops!

I like, have no idea. Short Circuit tried to explain it to me at some point because she like, likes hearing herself talk, and it's got something to do with the wavelengths and how my panels differentiate between them?
...
I think I've got some schematics and code snippets lying around, if you can like, read those.

Oh darling, you make it sound like we like, off people indiscriminately. That's just totally bad for business, you dig?

Also this!

Ooh, when are you on the timeline? I think everyone like, comes from different parts of it.

 

... Thank you.
[She smiles at him. The drink in her hand shifts to something at least a little bit less smelling like it's usually used in juvenile spike-measuring-contests.]

 

"Sweetie, you look very young. But not as young as I was when the Beijada sent me out to make my first kill. I'm a trained assassin. They started training me when I was like, three. I quit and now I'm a rose gardener and a PTA mom and a ceremonial magician and a swinger but...you don't get a choice about stuff like that always."

 

Yeah, and when I killed people, it was because otherwise me or Stentato would die! Did it suck? Yuuuup. Do I wish I hadn't done it? Actually, yeah! Would I do it differently? Nope, because if I die Stentato dies and that's not allowed!

 

Wow there's actually a higher contingent of killers on board than I thought. That's alarming.

 

Glow says sin is for people who care when they die!

???

I can't, but Wires might! Do you mind?

304...1? 3050-something? [Shrug!]