shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Sounds like a load of bullshit to me," Ford says, snorting. He should be politer.

Probably.

"Men who can't control themselves and seek to control women are nothing more than pathetic. This is the Mystery of Babalon, the Mother of Abominations, and this is the mystery of her adulteries, for she hath yielded up herself to everything that liveth, and hath become a partaker in its mystery. And because she hath made her self the servant of each, therefore is she become the mistress of all. Not as yet canst thou comprehend her glory."

 

"I agree. And I know it not to be true. My mother was not the betrayer. She was tricked into aiding it. She obeyed out of love and trust, but it was all his doing."

She listens to the words he's obviously quoting, but she doesn't recognize it. "That sounds like something religious?"

 

"Crowley. 12th Aethyr." Ford sighs. "I suppose it's a religion." He shrugs. "I've met enough gods not to care for them, but there's a godhead in all of us, and it's ours to work to attain it by knowing our own true Wills." He strokes Lissa's hair. "And this is the Scarlet Woman, my Babalon, my Shakti, and anyone who thinks she's less of an adept than me can blow a cacodemon."

 

"I probably shouldn't tell you about my people's God, then. It'll annoy you."

She stretches then curly up more comfortably on the couch.

"The Ford I know was rather animated on the topic."

 

"He's animated all right." Ford chuckles, extending his arm around Lissa to touch Jame's shoulder as well. "Great left hook. We had words. We were offered some of the same bad choices. We chose differently. We paid for those choices too. In blood."

He sighs.

"In retrospect, we should probably have saved that conversation for later."

 

"I should have been there," Jame says. "He tends to feel horrible if he felt he had to hurt anyone. I tell him that's my job, if it is necessary …"

 

"What, so you could have clocked me?" Ford laughs.

 

"Moira offered to hit him again, but I said no," Lissa says firmly. "I mean, Stanford here didn't even hit back."

 

"Only if you really needed it," Jame tells him. "And if it were honorable to do so."

She grins at them then realizes that might look threatening and sighs.

"I prefer it if nobody needs that," she adds.

 

Ford shrugs. "Meeting yourself is always a bit of a shock. Valiska and Lissa did not know how to talk to each other at all."

 

That's why you didn't want me to have it, right? 'Cause it has all those effects?

*holds his nose* And I reckon those effects are making that weird animal smell worse for you guys than for me, so I really can't fault you there. *laughs* The smell is really, really, really bad!

 

[Thunderwing, who got so completely blindsided by The Stench as to curl up into a defensive little bunker-ball, finally starts peeking out of his armor again. He still shakes his head sharply every now and then, trying to somehow dislodge even the memory of that smell.] It is, it's the worst, why does anything need to smell like that???

Sorry, um...

Anyway yes, I agree with the first thing! It's... parts more than ports with standards, I meant literal ports, there are-- um-- Wires had to learn when I joined all of them for fixing reasons, he might be better at explaining? But like--

Spoiler: did we ever decide if anatomical talk is nsfw

Insecticons have special cables and receptors that are only for, um, feeling good? Standards have ports and cables for data transfer but it doesn't feel the same for them, it doesn't even really feel like anything but kinda almost pressure on the parts apparently? Like, they have ports but not the right ports and if anyone's made an adaptor for standards I haven't found it yet.

 

'Cause the world is awful, of course.

 

But this world is so nice!! [The vocal equivalent of a pout.]

 

Nah. Most people are mean, and I have to grant their wishes when they rub my lamp. And I don't get fed.

 

[derisive snort, somehow through a gas mask??? mysterious]

PULL THE OTHER ONE

 

!!!!!!! [Distressed chirping!] What do you eat? I'll find some!!!

 

... uh, the same stuff humans eat...

 

Okay except for the awful-smelling six-leg organic it's nice!! One bad thing doesn't ruin the whole planet!!!

 

Didn't you hear what I just said?

*exasperated sigh*

The stinky hairless cat isn't the only bad thing about the world!