shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Oh." Ford sighs. "I know a place that's not here, where they don't serve licorice."

 

"The problem with ketchup pizza is that ketchup is full of sugar."

Ford is ignoring his other self. Possibly even in kind of an obvious way.

 

Oh, that´s good. I still wanna know.

I only caught the last bit.

 

I dunno, it's some weird stuff.

 

Wonder how we can find out ours. And how it works. Do oyu know which universe it´s from?

 

dude no theres not a damn thing wrong with sugar how dare you say this to me in my own home my palace my place of refuge i thought i was safe here but no i let down my guard and here comes an attack that cuts me to the goddamn core
sugary beverages and snacks are the lifeblood that sustains me im like a fuckin toddler on pixie stix running around the living room bouncing off every available hard surface
nyoom motherfucker
nyoom

 

It's a whole cluster, not just a single universe. Bit of a pain to get to, but they do have some of the prettiest frogs. Tell you what, if you can get to the edge of the Primax cluster on your own we'll take a field trip over there and you can see for yourself, how does that sound?

 

my cluster bitch what up
step one buy a game that destroys the world
step two get yelled at by a bunch of cryptic fucking grey people who lust after your dick like a man in the desert lusts after a nice cool drink of water
step three have an altself make himself into a sprite that is part man part bird all dave all information
the big man HASS the knowledge

 

Deal! -how are we getting to the edge of the universe? Shhh we´ll figure it out. With Science!-

Well can you explain what these alignments are and what they mean?

 

no

jk yeah i can if your flow is sick enough to decipher what im spittin that is to say if you can wade through my swamp of bullshit to find the information like indiana jones hunting for a stupid hunk of gold
get your waders were knee deep in this shit
im going to take you on a journey through my conversational puzzle solving ARG

do you know what a personality test is like myers briggs or which hogwarts house are you

 

Veroandi: "I don't know what pizza or pixie sticks are, but I do know my sugar! Sugar is the greatest thing that's ever been invented ever!!"


Skuld: "...No one invented sugar...It comes from a plant."


Duneyrr: "Um. Is no one interested in the fact that the man in strange attire mentioned pixies? Pixie sticks are obviously some sort of confection made from sugar and pixie sap."


Veroandi: "I'm interested now!!!! Teach me how to make pixie sticks, Stranger in weird clothes!"

 

oh my god what help im being accosted by a squad of fantasy weirdos hankering for my stick
sorry kiddos where im from pixies arent real or at least i havent encountered any who the fuck knows anymore with whats empirically provably real or not real

pixie stix are just tubes of powdered highly concentrated abominations of sugar and artificial flavors and colors theyre one of the substances the high junk food council reveres most
dunk one in your mouth or do a line and experience the feeling of injecting pure unadulterated hyperactivity into your bloodstream for at least five whole minutes

 

Veroandi: "Artificial flavors and colors? So, alchemy, then?"
Veroandi: "..."
Veroandi: "Skuuuuuuuuld..."


Skuld: "...Am not going to use abilities to fuel your addiction to sweets...Already hyper enough as is."



Durapror: "...You mentioned a high junk food council. Does such an outlandish entity truly exist? I fear that if you mean to regale us next with tales of candy monsters and a chocolate Yggdrasil tree, my Veroandi will cut short our adventures in High Lagaard before they have even begun."


Veroandi: *drooling*

 

Oh like, "Which Prime are you aligned with"? You know those are jetfuel right?

 

Hey now! The personality tests might be, but some of you are drawn from our own divine spark-energy!

 

But does that have anything to do with our favorite colour and fuel additive? -sudden griiin, and Soundy Mims has a datapad he offers to Vector- Here, you do it!

 

I did agree with you about the tests! [He laughs, kneeling to take the datapad.] Should be good for a laugh, though, hey?

 

(omg its like im 13 again this is magical)

yeah sure its alchemy yes

and idk about a chocolate tree but the junk food council is real as shit and mad powerful too yo

our world is split into two opposing factions those who support the junk food council and those who support a shadowy organization known as the FDA

i dont trust those fuckers they got ULTERIOR MOTIVES

yes and yes

now imagine a personality test that is not horseshit and also on a cosmic scale

thats what this is in part but NOW imagine the personality test once youve answered all the fiddly little questions and told them what your favorite color is or whatever gave you some
dope
ass
powers

getting these sweet jammies is just an upgrade i was making the stablest of loops before i went god tier even so its not like you HAVE to to do the thing its just easier you dig

but the pjs match up to the thingy you control (aspect) and how you do that (class) (classpect) and im pretty sure its like deliberately designed to make you miserable figuring out your purpose like basically every other fucking thing there

idk HOW you determine that without doing it the way we did but im a knight of time and what i do seems pretty self evident

but like you cant just PICK one its chosen FOR you and what you are is pretty important like me and jade or aradia and kanaya HAD to be there or the sessions wouldve been useless ignoring all the other fuckery that went down

cuz were time and space and you cant make a universe without that stuff you just cant

 

Taking them out afterwards gets just as bad, too.

 

Yeah, they´re pretty funny!

Interesting, I don´t think I wanna play a Universe ending game, Unicron would be mad.

Yeah, probably? We sort of need those. Would be interesting though. Is there even still a universe without those?