shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"I hate to tell you this, but nobody here summoned you, and the robot thinks you're trying to negotiate a consensual power exchange. The usual rules don't apply in this space. Would you like me to banish you, or can you get home on your own?"

 

D --> There is nothing wrong with what I have said

D --> You, individually, do not
D --> But you have many other selves
D --> Collectively, you all drink an ine%orbitant quantity of the substance
D --> I do not abide by these rules
D --> Do not refer to Aurthour's milk as dad juice
D --> It makes me uncomfortable

 

You have masters, huh? Sucks, doesn't it? *sighs*

 

jesus god
well i guess since youre a member (???) of the group that the group im making fun of is into i can probably do that
is murr bad too
what about nya i know i just said it but you didnt say anything about that
or like
:3
what about that i need to know

incorrect

father sauce

 

Awwwwwww you're nooooo fun.
[Lindi flops over sadly. So pitiable.]

Pay me and I'll tell you my name.

[They giggle.]

[They take a loooooong thoughtful drag from their pipe, then exhale the smoke. It's faintly green this time.]
No. I like it here. It's fun.
If the demon-consort needs me, he will pull me back. He and his mate don't ever let me have fun. I will have fun here instead.
[They smile lazily]

... It's a game. If I lose I do what they want. f they lose I eat them. If you don't like your game, learn to play better, djinn.
[They look supremely unimpressed]

 

D --> You, yourself, are incorrect

D --> No

 

Wiretap: I hear electronic communications. Words are... eh, prettiest? Least painful?

Huh! Awright then. I dunno what your nutritional requirements are, but I don't see what's wrong with gettin'em in however you want.

Spoiler: nsfw

No, but now human porn with spikes in it is ruined forever.

"The robot" is named Wiretap, and also is not at all assuming the snake alien wants him to dom them. That's just the only sort of "mastery" I'd ever agree to be part of, and they seem to think their master is somewhere around here.

 

*smirks* I did one better. I got out of the game!

 

79: So do I, durr. So do all tfae. You can't even do feelings?? Who designed you?

-She taps his leg politely.-

 

Sorry, "no deals with aliens" is one of the rules of something I'm already tangled in. No fun here.

 

Wiretap: They're all dead now, their names don't matter. I was part of a test run, if they made more later they probably have better abilities.

 

holy shit

[he snops and pixie sticks rain sugary death upon them]
you can just like make them here
have at it

anyway are you talking like a knight knight like serving a king or whatever or like a knight who died on their quest bed slash cocoon and came back in sick ass jammies
cause theyre two different things ive never even met the queen of england also shes dead so

sorry mx thang im outta cash and also not that interested i got names to SPARE

dude no im not going to have a fuckin ten minute long conversation going yes no yes no like a fuckin lightswitch i know your mo you cant trap me

 

79: I know what that's like. I'm Technofae Class-C Model 79 or whatever. Wiretap is a dumb name. Where's your crew? Pick me up. Did you shank your creators? I hope you shanked your creators. I...

-She pauses, looking smug.-

poisoned an entire government probably.

 

Wiretap: My crew's awake right now, mostly. Dunno where Thunders is, maybe he's just not in a dream cycle right now.
Wiretap: I didn't kill 'em myself, but most of the guys in charge were in Kaon the night of the Massacre.

[He kneels to pick her up.]

Wiretap: Also Wiretap is a cool name, frag you, it's a pun now.

 

79: What's the pun, a faaaaaart?

-She sticks out her tongue, grinning.-

 

[Expression mirrored!]
Wiretap: I'm a medic for robots, I tap literal wires instead of eavesdropping on wireless connections now

 

79: Oh, that's cool! I can't make a dirty joke about- no, give me a minute, I've got a reputation to uphold. I bet you tap those wires aaaaaall the time.

-She wiggles her eyebrows.-

 

[Lindi waggles their eyebrows at Wiretap wordlessly, laughing.]

Mhhh why would I want that. The corporeal world is ssssssoooooo interesting.

[They pout but finally release Wiretap from the weird snake-y embrace.]

What's casssssssh? I don't want that I want an apple. I love apples.

 

I guess your game is really different from mine, then.

 

OH SHIT why didnt you say so excellent fruit choice and also not my soul which is awesome

cash is money
money can be exchanged for goods and services

[he holds out an apple. it is, unfortunately, one of those nasty 'looks better than it tastes' supermarket apples, because that's the only kind he's eaten before]