shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-Clover appears to slap it out of his hand.-

No.

 

Snakes don't get caught in lamps, only circles and and deals of our own making, dear djinn~
[They laugh. It sounds fairly smug]

[... They don't even take a bite out of the apple right away just cut a bit out of it with their hell-razor-claws and shove their nose in the hollow, smelling the apple with a happy little noise.]
They call me Lindi, eye of snakes. I watch, I hear, I smell, I tell.
Why would I need something exchanged for goods and services. I have services. The masters have goods.

 

[Snickering.]
Wiretap: I do, but only because my most frequent patients are my conjunxes!

I mean, if I've misinterpreted by all means I'm totally up for experimenting as long as it's the kind of experiment I can tap out of, but somehow I don't think that's your game.

 

79: What's that mean? I've got a crew! We've got me and Chi and Dol and Scanner and Diamond kinda and Vermillion kinda!

 

[Lindi abruptly looks. Very angry and very dangerous.]
Little human. Interfering with a deal is a grave sin. Are you at all prepared for the consequences?
[Thats. A lot of teeth. Their eyes are glowing faintly and the smoke from their pipe is tar black and smells like decaying flesh now]

 

Oh, just fucking try it.

-She hands Dave a much better apple. Then another one. Then a third, all different cultivars, all very good.-

 

"I know you have a name," says Ford, "but she wouldn't have known that Wiretap was you unless I told her so, and a lot of people get justifiably upset when you decide on their behalf that a demon should know what their name is." He shrugs. "I am sorry, in attempting to avoid one offence I have managed to perform quite another. It wasn't intentional. And it's a logical conclusion."

"Unlike you, she can't exist in matter-dense worlds unless summoned and bound. Also unlike you, she can get out of the binding if her summoner makes a mistake." Ford shrugs. "You're a unique variety of djinn. Most of the djinn I've met were unsafe to be around when free and in the material world. I've no idea if that's because they always hated us, or if they started hating us when we started binding them, or if there's more to it than that, but you're very ... relatable, for a djinn."

Ford is amused. So's Lissa, when he catches her eye.

 

Wiretap: My crew's all romantic at each other, and we were mostly like that before I started treating them! I don't usually flirt at other patients, gore's not my thing.
Wiretap: And now we're all stuck out in space with no other patients around, so it's not like that's been a problem outside the odd trade with neutrals.

 

[A small headtilt in acknowledgement. No it isn't but Lindi enjoys being obnoxious.]

 

79: Romance is hard to understand.

 

hey what the fuck
what are you the opposite of a vegan whats wrong with apples
the bloodmouths are finally coming for me i shouldve listened to the warnings i should have heeded the omens but now its too late
goodbye forever sweet fruit i knew ye well

oh
nvm about the carnist shit then hell yeah i have just had my apple investment returned with fucking INTEREST
why though are you a fruit goblin scurrying around granting people three fruits in exchange for slapping their one

well thats one way to enjoy an apple i guess
im not going to fruitshame
hi lindi eye of snakes im dave strider knight of time i spit ill beats i stabilize the timeline i create works of fucking art
i guess money is kind of pointless but im not really that educated on the topic since i never had to enter the workforce
i fucking killed on LOHACSE though fuck yeah

 

That was an apple just made to look good, not taste good. I gave you better apples.

 

Ehhhh. To believe in demons I'd have to believe in Primus, and that ain't happening again anytime soon. Thanks for trying to protect me, I guess? [Shrug.] Much rather be called by name than something so generic. Pits, even "the red and white fragger over there"'s better.

Wiretap: Yep! I've just had a longaft time to start figuring it out.

 

[They encircle Clover entirely, not smothering or constricting yet, but definitely there, still glowering.]
Do not interfere with deals, child. The last one who did was eaten for his stupidity. These are ancient holy customs that govern relations between our kind and the masters. I want my prize.

[They throw the human a brief look.]
A knowledgeable one, and experienced too. And one who gives The Eye Of Snakes pronouns. They are not a prize I do much for, know this.

 

-muffled giggling from the corner-

 

-Clover reaches over and sticks a finger on Lindi's nose, tugging it up.-

Beep.

 

You give much away for free, Dave Strider.
[They grin]

I want my prize :c

 

[Startled snake is startled. Clover gets a face full of yellow and purple smoke]

 

Merde, just take your fucking apple, lady. It's not a very good apple. Maybe he'll give you one of the better apples. But stop showboating???

 

I'd personally guess that they started hating you when you started binding them. General you. That's what makes sense in my head. Does more than make sense, honestly, since I definitely have hated humanity for using me, but... then again, I am not much like all the others you've known, so... I guess assuming that they must obviously think like me is the opposite of what I should do. *sheepish laugh*