[nsfw] Iyaan, Karkat-kun: Let's Homestuck some Hentai

creep on ALLL the relationships!!!!

 

I vote back to Hussie being a creeper!

 

Hussie!

 

It was a big day in Homustuk and I capped like 80 pics, but Imgur seems to be shitting itself while crying and it won't let me upload a thing. So I'll update when I can.

 

Hey, it's Tuesday again!





The teacher's lounge, incidentally. Where are the other teachers? Or the other classes, for that matter? Perhaps they escaped this hellish sexual landscape, free from desk masturbation and the constant obscenity of Vriska and Feferi. Hussie looks over the barren desolation of the lounge and wonders: will he find freedom too, or is he doomed to babysit the screeching muses of his own creation until the end of time in this animu void? Somewhere, the haunting refrain of a cheesy sax solo plays.

He has a feeling it's going to be a long day.

Wandering outside, Rose immediately approaches.



Are you reading my mind again, Rose? Stop that!

Let's make sure no one's fucking in the locker room.



I am a TEACHER. What I'm going to do about it is precisely zilch, thank you! Hussie prefers his romances legal, and as much as he hates this job, he can't get fired from it yet. Not when there's still knowledge to impart!



I have plenty of "that" kind of experience. You're talking about collecting horse paraphernalia, right?



Or not. Look, I gotta go see a man about an android. Try not to get cane whipped by Terezi while I'm not looking.



Well that's a first impression. Where has that hand been? No, wait, don't tell me. Welcome to Homustuk, Hal. Let's small talk, see how you're fitting in...



Oh. A man of few words. Alright, well...how about we study? Catch you up with the rest of the class.



Of course it is, you have a supercomputer for a brain.

Anyway, it's been awhile since Hussie has lovingly stroked the magic statue. That's not a euphemism, stop laughing, Hal.



Not bad at all! Despite Hussie getting all up in everyone's grill, at least half seem to like him.

What about Tavros.



After his day of trying to hit one everyone, he's managed to snag himself a couple of admirers in addition to Karkat. Poor, sweet Karkat...



Well, on the plus side, Tavros seems to be WAY SERIOUS about Karkat. I look forward to your frantic humping in every hall in school.



eridancryingalonewithsalad.jpg



WHOA. That's my line, Dirk, how long have you been watching me mutter about my students' relationships?

Well, as long as you're here, have anything you wanna talk about? Maybe about that android you built that looks like a beefier, pastier version of you?



And now there's TWO of you. Great.

 

Hal turned out awesome looking!

 

Apparently interogating people about their love lives makes you popular? Who knew.

 

This is my favorite fanfic. :3 @Ruevian your commentary is a DELIGHT.

 

That screenshot of Eridan's relationships is so canon it hurts

 

Suddenly, Equius!



Sure. I promise not to tell anyone about horse paraphernalia.



Naturally. Are YOU making it a point to not sleep through every lunch period?



I'll take that as a no.



Sure, I can do that. What could possibly go wrong?



Yep, just a normal, sweet boy who doesn't collect dead bodies and sells their blood.

TAVROS, WHERE YOU AT



Yeah, yeah, you're horny, I get it. Look, Gamzee --



AUGH. I mean....sure? Hang on a sec, Tavros.

And then she just talked about simmered vegetables. Thanks, Jane, I can see why you're so popular.

Anyway, Tavros --



....no. No, by all means, continue your yoga.

But then a jealous Karkat interrupted us, so let's go find Tavros AGAIN. Gamzee better appreciate this.



YES OKAY PLEASE GET ALONG WITH GAMZEE, HE IS A SWEET CLOWN IDIOT WHO JUST WANTS TO MAKE OUT A LITTLE



"uHH, gAMZEE IS THE ONE WHO, RIGHT NOW, IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS, IS GETTING DEEPTHROATED BY FEFERI, RIGHT?"

...dammit, Gamzee.

I need a moment away from all of this casual perversion. Let's go to the library again.



Your horse paraphernalia? You bet! Ah, but I promised Equius I wouldn't talk about that....sorry, Terezi.



I know, it's kind of unfair, but a teacher has to make sacrifices.



I mean, the class is literally RIGHT THERE, but...sure?

Terezi safely escorted, let's go find Hal again.



Annnnd it looks like Hal's already hacked the school's security feed. There's nothing wrong about escorting a blind, strange girl to class, Hal! I don't like your tone!



Back in the library, Rose is keeping the rumor mill going. Rose, you're a Seer, so I hold you to a higher standard of gossip. Of course someone confessed to Jane, EVERYONE wants a piece of that luscious cake-fed ass.

But let's see who Rose is talking about, specifically.



Herself, apparently. Snarky broads and their horseshit!



No! And I'll bet you 10 boonbucks Rose started that rumor herself!



God, Equius, I know. Keep up, man. That's old news. Give me something new!



And then Equius promptly sweated three buckets for his "foal language."

 

Thanks for the kind words, guys!

I know, I laughed a lot. XD Maybe at some point this week, we can see about getting Eridan some positive interactions for once.

 

Hal you darling

 

... with Vriska and Gamzee. >:D

 

Will we know if Vriska and/or Gamzee is plotting the other's murder? Vriska knows that she and Gamzee are "love rivals", but does murder only happen if she catches them in the act? Cause if that's the case, how in the hell have they avoided pinging the mur-dar, what with how Fef and her datefriends have christened nearly every room in the school? Does she let it slide if she and Gams are bros? Hole brosisters? Whatever.

 

We'll know. They'll have the "I'll Get You" status when in murder mode. I'm not 100% certain, but I think they need to catch their lover having sex with someone else? They might need to rack up some hate points too.

But yeah, we'll know if it's happening. The only question is, do we let it happen or try to stop it?

 

Well, I feel like a teacher would try to prevent murder, but students, idk.

 

What? WHAT. I just took her three feet to the left! The room was right there! What's Hal been telling you!?



YOU. Stop spreading rumors about me, you little --



Dirk. Your android is being a dick!

Ugh, whatever, it's time for class and to introduce the asshole of the hour.





For what? THE ROBOT UPRISING???

I'm on to you, Hal.

But we're a teacher, and I remember too well what it was like to be the new kid in school, so...



"Just don't pay any attention to his LIES."



I, you, but -- ! Th-that's not an appropriate thing to ask, Rose!

Quick, run to the statue, it's our only safe haven.



Seriously?

• Seriously.
  • SERIOUSLY.

As long as we're here, let's check the status of traded items.



An appropriate gift for Aradia, tbh.



Sounds like Kanaya's getting ready for a wild date.



The GamKar diamonds are shining bright!



Let it not be said that Kanaya isn't a generous girlfriend to Jane.

Let's go confront Hal about romance.



APPARENTLY SO, HAL. APPARENTLY SO.

JFC, it's only noon.



You are the LAST person I'm going to talk to about lewd desires, okay? And I don't have lewd desires! Shut up!



Yeah, it's been a real blast so far, Aradia.



Look, I don't care how many times you try to make me choose between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, it's just impossible for me.

 

He's only been there for a day, wow. Good job Hal?

 

Y E S

 

So I guess the question is, is it Hal or Dirk who has the impressively swift moves?