[nsfw] Iyaan, Karkat-kun: Let's Homestuck some Hentai

Well, Dirk's never gotten with anyone before, but that could just mean that the only one worthy of the Strider D is a beefier metal version of himself. Seriously, that could not have worked out any better.

 

Considering how aloof Dirk has been the whole game, I don't know :O But.
I am pleased.
So pleased.
I am riding the horse in this race.

 

Be ready for the horse to collapse into firey jello though.

 

Yeah, all I can do is assure you guys this happened on its own. I was too busy constantly being approached by students now that the AI is working right to try and hook them up!

I think I tonight I'll see if I can find some nice Dirk/Hal fic...

 

The teacher in question is Hussie, though. I'm pretty sure he'd just sort of sit back and watch it while eating popcorn.

 

And making comments about horses.

 

"Dead Teenager would make a fucking awesome name for a horse."

 

Oh, I am. I'm just sat over here with kitty face. The prophecy has been fulfilled.

Also @Ruevian, if you haven't read Endangered, start there :O

 

Instead of flowers, the memorials for students are just horses.

 

Imagine the final panel of Homestuck having memorials for every character who died, and the memorials are all just horse statues with character names on them in Comic Sans.

...that's actually pretty plausible honestly.

 

Yeah, seems legit, coming from the QUEEN OF FUCKING FEFERI ON EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE

Speaking of, can you bring that shit back a notch? You keep starting a chain reaction of everyone fapping and crying.



THANK YOU. And might I add, that new face of yours is lovely.



Absolutely not. You leave dear, sweet, precious Nepeta alone!



OH MY GOD. Do I need to put an announcement out on the PA? "Attention, students. Jane Crocker has got it going on. Please stop running up to me in your underwear to tell me about it."



Rose, you're DATING her. What do you need -- wait, fight music.



Oh, it's just Vriska and Eridan slapfighting again. Look, you two, this stopped being funny last week, break it up!





Wow, sure smells AWFULLY PITCH IN HERE.

Right, let's go help Rose out. Jane?



Aw, honey. Still so humble despite nearly everyone in this school wanting to motorboat you. I told her to get along with Rose, she agreed, and then...



Swim class! Well, after swim class. Where the hell is Hal -- oh, there he is. Blends right into the concrete, doesn't he?

Let's whisper our secrets to the statue.



Welp, the honeymoon didn't last long. Poor Karkat.



Poor Kanaya! Looks like Jane's getting tired of juggling so many hotties.



....d-do....do you need something, Terezi?

TEREZI, STOP SNIFFING ME

YOU GUYS, SHE WON'T STOP FOLLOWING ME

SERIOUSLY



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

 

I've had the 'random people following the PC' lately too. I have no idea why it happens but it's fucking HILARIOUS. (Most of the time if you talk to them they stop.)

 

I think Terezi has a crush.

 

Today's episode was the best thing every, probably.

Dirk and Hal's identical 'I refuse' face is literally killing me
Also...goddamnit gamzee. At least we still have Gamkar
and no poor Karkat it only lasted a day. Can you tell who is the culprit that broke up their 'forever romance'??

Terezi just wants to figure out the color of his blood, she has to get really close to 1NV3ST1G4T3

 

Hal's gripping his hand while giggling to himself by the bathrooms again. Look, dude, let's just make this easy. Get along with everyone, okay?



Yeah, see, you say that, but you're just going to go back to starting rumors and stirring shit, aren't you?



Karkat continues to fulfill his role of Asshole Wrangler.



Yum, that Betty Crocker taste I know and love.

Well, might as well head to the track and work off all this cake...

oh.



Looks like Eridan's getting SOME action, and he even has an eager audience in Roxy. Not bad, fishnerd.

Dave finishes up and wants to talk.



First of all, you knew what you were getting into when you started this relationship with Terezi, and secondly, looks like you've been the one doing the licking, Strider. *high fives roxy as she walks by, hand comes away sticky* ....shouldn't have done that.

So club time ends, and students slowly head home.



You know what, Jade? Yes. Yes, I would.



I can't help it, Jade, I've just never heard such a riveting rendition of "You Can't Keep A Good Dog Down" from All Dogs Go To Heaven.

Back to school, just to see if anyone else is loitering...



Roxy knows what Roxy wants, and Roxy GETS what Roxy wants.

Right, I'll just...leave you be. Where's Hal?

Spoiler: dicks. dicks everywhere

Don't give me that, it's time for you two narcissists to go home! And take your throbbing erections with you!



NO, JAKE. NO. BAD.



Yeah, I know, shocking. This isn't the webcomic, kid, this is Homustuk. Everyone wants Jane now, not you! Who even told you I liked you anyway?



Goddammit, Hal.

 

And so ends the longest Tuesday ever.

Tomorrow: who should we play as?

 

Poor Jake. His sad puppy face.

Um, now play as Hal?

 

Maybe not so worthless after all...