shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

i was made in a lab on a meteor bro
i just measure with the units of the planet i spent the most time on but i mean you could pick whatever tickles your fancy i guess its not like it MATTERS
they all translate pretty easily so whatever it is you use people will understand if you want to use something at all
maybe youre not interested in our hellacious festivals im not going to force my culture on you

just like
gently place it in your vicinity to enjoy if you want it

 

[a bug noise that clearly comes across as -eep!-]
ARE WE NEGOTIATING? LIKE, RIGHT NOW? CAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST FIRING PROJECTILE WEAPONS AT THE FECES, AS PEOPLE ARE WONT TO DO IN THIS MISERABLE PLACE. I WASN'T AWARE THERE WERE RULES TO INTERACTING WITH YOU BEYOND THE NORMAL SOCIAL PROTOCOLS. HOW DO I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN VIOLATING YOUR RULES AS FRAGRANTLY AS I IGNORE THOSE ONES?????

 

Who knows? Coulda used that before we got a language cobbled together, though. [Snickering.] Damn near ate through a power conduit on that first hop, that was fun.

 

I? Think I appreciate it? A Lot of newsparks are made at once, so we would have very big birthdays.

Oh no!!! That´s bad. That´s why we use it, yes.

 

[They smiiiiile and take another drag from that cigarette they got from @The Burning Girl, puffing a cloud of smoke in a dizzying array of colors out again]
Generally Negotiations start with asking me for something. In general, before that I am summoned, ideally into a warded circle. If the circle is not warded, or the summoner is not standing in one of their own, that is a first mistake.
Another mistake is asking for too much while offering too little, or offering the wrong thing in recompense.
A third possible mistake would be allowing my kind to know your true name.
A fourth is not double checking a summon dismissal, and stepping outside of the wards before your servant has left the premises.
A fifth is growing too weak to uphold the wards should I or one of mine attempt to push against them for weakspots.
But no, we are not negotiating. Not yet.

 

oh fuck yeah dude big parties are great
me and dirk and rose and roxy and jade and jake all had a huge clusterfuck party since our bdays are all close together and it was pretty fucking awesome
you could all just eat a shitload of food and give each other shit itd be fantastic

whoopsie

 

:)
you are forgiven. I do not think this place will... force my hand.

 

-gigglechirps- I don´t thin kthat would be allowe,d we would hardly ever not have a party!

 

-Archive makes a greeting chirp at Sprocket.-

 

"I don't even know my exact birthday. Sometime in winter. It wasn't like Father was sane enough to remember, and Mother faded. I'm not sure she would have even known the date."

 

WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF INASMUCH AS I CAN BE RELIEVED BY LEARNING I HAVEN'T BROKEN THE RULES OF A CONCEPT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED UNTIL JUST A LITTLE BIT AGO. HOORAY! I'M GOING TO SHIT GLITTER AND TWINKIES, IT'S THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

YOU FUCKING WHAT.

GOOD! GOOD!! GREAT!!!!! THIS IS JUST SPAZZTASTIC FUCKBALLS WONDERFUL, I'M ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED THAT THIS IS NOW HANGING OVER YOUR HEAD, WITH ONLY THEIR WORD THAT HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T **HAVE** TO USE IT AGAINST YOU. WHAT SUPREME ECSTASY I FEEL.

[he's hyperventilating a little bit]

 

nice i love being forgiven for stupid shit
does it count if i gave you someone elses name on accident or do you need like first and last

oh man ok
im not going to like say your feelings are stupid alright? theyre not stupid and i get why youre upset it does make sense and shit but i am fine
will be fine have been fine continue to be fine

im sure youre well aware that whatever this place is is like a dreambubble and we both know that even if i DID die in here and it was somehow just or heroic neither of us are actually for realsies no take backsies here and it would just be like when lord fucklish kamehamehad you awake
that said im not going to leeroy jenkins around in here i do have SOME common sense and im not going to try and deliberately give you a heart attack
lets just
sit down
for a little bit

[he gently pats karkat on the shoulder, and both of them walk off and sit on the floor somewhere a little ways off from the rest of the rave, apparently in a bubble of silence. they can be seen talking, but the dialogue can't be heard, probably because i can't be assed to write it]

 

Veroandi: "I'm sure you've got some talents! You actually seem a little similar to Durapror, except you're shoutier and don't smell as good!"


Durapror: "...I-I smell good?"


Veroandi: "Yeah! Gimme another good sniff."


Durapror: "H-hold on a moment. H-hey!"


Kormt: "...Anyways, that's, er, quite a heavy mistake, sir. That curse is...many...times more powerful than the most powerful curse I've ever seen."

 

are you saying karkat stinks
like in the literal smells bad way not in the like
oh neener i cant use swears yet but you stink way

 

Veroandi: "He smells kinda funny I guess, but he doesn't really stink much. Durapror just smells really good."


Durapror: "...H-how long do you intend to keep sniffing my hair, exactly?"


Veroandi: "Gimme a hug and I'll keep the sniffing short."


Durapror: "...Alternatively, may I propose that you may take in my scent as much as you please, for as long as the hug persists?"


Veroandi: "YES!!!!"

 

[They coil up into a guilty ball of misery]
Technicallyyyyyyyy you would have endangered them at least... a little...
[They blink, their eyes glowing faintly in the shadows]
I do not... care for the rules much. I...
[They trail off, smoking miserably]

 

-wordlessly offers her pack, since that cigarette probably doesn't have much left on it considering it was half-smoked when she came in. If you can't tell, she smokes like a fish-

 

[They blink up, reach out, but hesitate.]
Name your price, miladyyy.

 

That's commiseration, not an exchange.

 

[They give her an odd look]
Nothing is free. Ever.
[They take a cigarette anyway. Because they are not gonna wait for it to be taken away again.]