shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[A small brown dog watches this exchange with some interest. Far be it from her to get in the way of peaceful negotiations, but... wow does that human not know what he's doing.]

 

Paranoid an' workin' too much, you ain't expectin' anythin' else I hope.

-mildly puzzled Victorian stare-
What are updogs?

 

[They blink, considering this carefully, then holds up three fingers]
Optionsssss:
One. A kiss.
Two. A barrel of apple cider.
Three. A mouthful of blood, directly from your wrist.
[The next cloud of smoke almost imperceptly morphs to the shape of a poppy flower for seconds before dissipating]

 

that's an updog

* @Queezle is highlighted by the orb*

 

[They blink at her, grinning quietly. Hello there.]

I had hooooopes, but you just haaaaate me too much to indulge me I see. You want me to suffeeeeeer~

 

...That's a demon.

 

that is also an updog

 

-deadpan- Ain't nuthin' makes me so happy as seein' you cry.

 

Ain't look like nothin' but a normal dog to me. 'M I missin' somethin'?

 

All Dogs Are Updogs

 

[She poses prettily in the spotlight. Why not?]

[She nods back, wagging her tail ever-so-slightly.]

I dunno, I think I like updog better.

 

ALL HAIL THE SHITPOSTING ORB!

*if an orb can look smug this orb looks damn smug*

 

-bemused look, slight shake of the head- I give up.

 

ALL HAIL THE SHITPOSTING ORB!

 

[so close. so fucking close.]
updogs is the plural of updog singular duh

definitely not the third one
second one feels kind of cheap since i can just yoink one from the abyss or whatever
KARKAT im smooching lindi on your behalf youre welcome

 

Nah.

I'd like almost anything more than 'demon,' to be honest!

 

I ain't knowin' what an updog is either, nobody here been helpful.

...'SWhat you are, I ain't gonna pretend elsewise, not here.

 

why dont you ask me what it is
maybe ill tell you
since they live in my wisdom beard and all

 

[They snicker]

Helloooooo~

[They waggle their eyebrows and lean in close for smooches]
As is your desiiiiireeeee~

[Slightly confused headtilt?]

 

...Y'ain't got a beard. And yeah, why don't you be tellin' me what 'xactly an updog might be?