shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I mean, words like 'spirit' and 'honored guest' exist too.

Hello to you too! Lovely form you've got there-- a little flashy for me, but it suits you!

 

Oh, you one'a them that likes ~euphemisms~?

 

yaint
im gonna cry its almost like im back home

also dammit this is just not working at all how i wanted youre right my beard and the wisdom held within was a farce im a fraud
updog is a joke to try and make someone say whats updog to which you respond not much dog whats up with you
but clearly thats not going to work anyway i have a hell snake to mack on

[he hesitates for less than a second, probably contemplating his life and his choices. after, he leans in as well and pecks lindi on the lips]

 

Thank youuuu~ You are enormously adorable.
[They stretch out a little, clearly incredibly flattered.]

[Lindi hums appreciatively, eyes closed and all, savoring the experience. They kiss... surprisingly chaste and innocent. With their eyes still closed they catch one of Dave's hands and in red-black paint draw a sigil on the palm. It looks a bit like a stylized flower]
The contract has been set,-
[They hesitate, searching for the right word, then sigh minutely and settle on:]
-... Dave.

 

...Oh that kinda be explainin' a lot. -Billy grins, then laughs- Sorry it ain't be workin'.
...Bit rude t'be callin' people dogs though innit?

 

"Kid...if you're going to draft a contract, you should really have a lawyer look at it before you sign." Ford blows a smoke ring into the air. When did he start smoking (again)? He didn't. But you can't get lung cancer from smoking in the Rave. And he missed it.

 

[Quiet dog sigh, but her voice still bright:] Sure am!

Awww, thank you!

Bit rude to be calling people demons though, isn't it? [Innocent puppy face.]

 

"Too late, my love." Lissa sighs.

 

... Lawyers tend to be woefully underequipped for theeeeeeeeese kinds of contracts~

 

"I really suck at analogies." Ford sighs. "In every incarnation, apparently. I meant, me, not an actual lawyer."

 

[The dog, she is giggling.] Well, he pretty clearly isn't a magician! I don't think he can really be blamed for not knowing how most of us treat loopholes.

 

'Swhat we are.

 

You can call yourself whatever you please! I am a djinn. 'Demon's a human word because they either don't know or don't care about the hierarchy besides how many people they need to bind us.

 

[he pulls back and looks back at his hand, tilting it curiously]
oh sweet thats pretty fucking cool actually
is this permanent did i just get a palm tattoo
if so can i lie about how i got it to sound more badass like yes i absolutely drove a needle into the tender skin of my palm a gazillion times i am THAT fucking stoic

no its slang dog is like bro dude etc

what your girlfriend said

[he holds up his palm to demonstrate]

anyway THATS totally not ominous at all and i definitely dont have all kinds of chills thinking about that
out of the frying pan into the cookalizer with this shit i fuckin guess

 

-headtilt, squint-
Demons is demons is demons, wherever on the hierarchy.

 

Honestly, "I made a deal with a demon to save my boyfriend" sounds pretty badass.

 

...Never heard of any of them. Believe you, though. Heard enough weird changes over the years I guess.

 

[Snickering]
Oh well~

Ohhh do you use a rigid hierarchy? Iiiiiinteresting~

Fairly permanent.
It's going to fade to a faint white... But it will staaaaay until the contract is terminated.
And yes you may lie as much as you wish.
[They laugh]

 

I mean, I don't eat humans who mess up badly enough to let me out, I just leave! But, well, bad masters happen, and grudges happen, and then...

[She rolls her eyes.] Whatever!

...does it? I mean, I guess it normally takes a lot to figure out how to safely summon one of us, not to mention digging up a true name...

 

Yeah. It's a big sacrifice, making a deal with somebody who could easily screw you over if you got something wrong, you know... And big sacrifices are pretty badass. Not everyone can make them and not everyone is willing to make them.