shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Wait, what does communication have to do with species or height?

 

well now im confused too
do you guys NOT mean juvenile as in still a child/wiggler/idk whatever you guys call a new person
cause im juvenile as in immature but idk what thatd have to do with me being tinier or whatever

and now we can all mutually groan because aliens what even are we

 

-wanders in with coffee- Well I´m a mi. What are we talking about?

 

fuckin
language barrier shenanigans the usual kind of fuckery for this place

you got any more coffee

 

"It may help your understanding that Theresa and her sister run a coffee house for unmarried maidens, a sort of safe haven for them to meet and converse, if you will.
And that she met me in a corset and skirts. I must have made a great impression, given she threatened to defenestrate me and indeed tied me to a chair the second we were alone! Ah, to be young again."
He smiles, petting the Mi that is attempting (in vain) to lick him dry.

"Alas, my friend, while I certainly can appreciate your lines and statuesque features, I am fully and entirely my wife's husband as long as she will let me be hers."

 

No, darling, I cracked a joke.

The fighting one or the religious one? For the first one, you might have better chances with my friend Windshear. Fighting always messes with my paintjob, you see?

You might want to consider investing in a pair of heels, darling. On the other hand, heat rises, so you're probably good down there.
(She clacks her gun heels. Heel guns. Like, whatever.)

 

(Somewhere, a kettle whisles. Oneira removes it from the tile stove and pours it into a french press.)
Heard someone talking aboat coffee.

 

I might! -makes more coffee occur.-

 

Ooor someone who is better at coffee can make coffee! Mi!

 

I mean we don't really have physical immaturity, it's totally a mental-social thing, but-- you said you were mail?? And, like, I get that some couriers go for the whole "I AM THE JOB" thing, but...

Fair enough! May your bond shine as bright and long as the stars.

 

damn
yall kinky fuckers get started on this shit quick huh

can we have like
a really showy fake fight where we all act super dramatic but never actually do any fighting

[he flies up to her eye-level, just to be a showoff]
while im sure we can all appreciate a good pair of pumps i dont need them to get up here

[grabby hands]

there can never be too much coffee
let it flow from the skies like a biblical flood

ahahaha holy fuck
no i am male as in m a l e as in im a guy as opposed to a girl or any other configuration
my job is being a knight thats with a k

 

Awww, come to Vos, you'll fit right in! [Teasing wing-flutters.] We can be totally illegal winddancers together.

What's a girl? And what kind of configuration are we talking here, like, processing priorities or...?

 

(An expression of surprise makes way to a very wide grin)
Oh that is so. bitchin. You're on, darling, but I like, have a totally awesome suggestion.
(Skyfall transforms into her altmode, an interceptor plane)
How about we do a race?

I'm a girl! Lotsa squishies have frame differences that like, get classified into male/female, or boy/girl, or man/woman which are all terms for the same thing just in like, slightly different contexts.
I like, heard that Cybertron totally lost the gender thing for some reason?? But it still exists on the colonies!

 

Amen to that, brother. Actshoral good coffee or artistic sludge?

 

So, like, just having two frametypes instead of all the different castes? Weird. And why would the colonies have things older than Cybertronian culture, if Cybertron founded them? [Confuse birb is confuse.]

 

you might want davepeta for that i havent got any wings to be illegal with
unless no wings makes it super extra illegal in which case take me to jail officer i just gotta cut footloose

and yeah what she said im not exactly the best man to sum up gender for you unless you want a five hour long dissertation on how social expectations fuck people up

[he puts his hands in his pockets and smirks]
fair warning im kind of a god of time so stuff to do with being speedy might give me an edge
but if youre hard enough to race a deity im not going to stop you

can i have both

 

No wings is super triple illegal, grounders aren't even allowed in Vos without special allowance from the Winglord or his immediate flock. Let's go to jail for dancing! [Ignis seems unduly excited about this prospect. Ignis no.]

And as to the social justice lecture, I mean-- [he gestures to the Decepticon sigils still emblazoned on the flats of his wings--] wouldn't be the first I've listened to, I'm game if you don't mind me fidgeting.

 

Darling, cuz we like didn't wreck ours with two major wars in the last like, 10 million cycles. My boss is like, totally from a time when there were still girls on Cybertron, but they all like, left.

Darling, I like think, the whole caste scrap based on our frametypes so counts as a cultural equivalent? It like, always comes down to "oh that group must be so stupid/bad/evil/worthless because they look different and we must never be like that".

Gnarly. I do Mach 5 before breakfast.
Let's do this!

 

(Oneira deadpans her response.)
One big mediocre, coming up.
(Then she grins.)

 

Two major wars? Slag, how long have I been dead that we managed a ceasefire long enough for the next clash to count as a whole new war?