sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Ben Solo was unusually adept at sensing surface level thoughts and emotions as a kid, and with people he was particularly close to this almost approached proper mind reading. While Leia and Luke mostly just scolded him for being nosy, whenever Han suspected that Ben was listening in where he wasn't supposed to he'd do things like run through increasingly ribald space shanties or tell stupid jokes and funny stories in his head to try and make his son visibly react. As he grew up, whenever Ben needed a distraction or a laugh or felt particularly vulnerable, he'd reach for Han's mind.

 

Why must you hurt me like this.

 

Gotham Academy holds a game of Assassin every semester. In Young Justice, despite being day students, Barbara, Dick, and Artemis have competed every year and kick ass. Dick put the collected name tags in the team trophy room.

 

Because Han gets the short end of the stick a lot when it comes to fan interpretations of his and Leia's A+ parenting and fuck that noise entirely. I think he wasn't ready for a kid and especially not a Force sensitive one with all the Skywalker drama and destiny attached, but goddammit he tried.

 

Background: There's a remake of my favorite game coming up, and I'm fairly exasperated because while it's not a worst-case-scenario bad adaptation, it's already apparent that the art is mediocre to bad and the game's story is going to suffer. The thing the existing fans are most annoyed about is that they decided to make the most important female character more palatable as waifubait by giving her long hair, adding more scenes of her being sad and angsty and insecure, and introducing her with a CG where she's leaning on a balcony and being sad and angsty and insecure in an outfit she never wears at any other point in the game which has a giant boob window. Also, she appears to have gone up like three cup sizes, and because her original introduction scene is still there, she instantly changes clothes and teleports to another area when the scene changes.

So I naturally decided that her evil stepmother is forcing her to wear extensions, and Balcony Girl is a body double meditating on her Tragic Backstory to try to get in character.

 

Some music headcanons:
- In a hypothetical post-Pacifist run, Papyrus's music collection would be a mishmash of death metal (skeleton positivity!) and Ke$ha.
- Sans listens to a lot of They Might Be Giants, because physics rock + some songs with surprisingly dark lyrics under a quirky surface. After a couple months, the phrase "the sun is a mass of incandescent gas" can make Papyrus full-body twitch.
- The jukebox at Grillby's is busted because Sans re-enacted the John Mulvaney routine where they put "What's New, Pussycat" on a diner jukebox 21 times in a row with a "It's Not Unusual" in the middle, and somebody murdered the jukebox. It may have been Grillby.

 

I don't even go here and I love this.

 

Warning: EARWORM.

 

According to Ask Greg, Nightwing in YJ's verse attends college part time. Therefore I choose to believe that he's basically a cryptid on campus. No one can remember seeing him enter or exit a lecture hall. His papers are excruciatingly well researched but. Grayson. Half of these words aren't words. Upon hearing this he brings out a whiteboard, a dictionary, and gets half the class involved in an argument about how language is a made up construct. One girl swears she saw him drop out of a tree and flip directly onto some frat guy. He once gave the actors in the fall play advice on what sounds people make when getting bones broken.

 

Wolf is Superboy's lusus.

 

I thoroughly believe that Sonic and his Assorted Technicolor Woodland friends are all card sharps to a greater or lesser degree. With the number of casinos, carnivals and theme parks that Eggman builds it's kind of inevitable.

(Knuckles wasn't, until the day Sonic showed up with a deck and said he wouldn't leave Angel Island until Knuckles learned to bluff worth a damn)

 

Frisk needs about 4-5 hours of sleep a night, when healthy.

Papyrus needs about 3-4 hours, and he usually gets it in two separate naps.

Result: every night there's Frisk and Papyrus Shenanigans. Usually it's something like "let's spend 4 hours doing a prank build on Alphys's LAN server" or "hey let's google some recipes and try to cook" but sometimes it's also "let's redecorate!" or "puzzles! puzzles everywhere" or 4 hours of loud chatter about many topics.

ETA: 2 more words in the main body of this
also frisk and papyrus have, as a result of this, a wide range of unusual skills

 

w.d. gaster melted 'cause he drank too much Bone Hurting Juice.

 

bone hurting juice?? please explain that sounds like there's a story behind it

 

bone hurting juice

it's the new meme

(and apparently, it does this (nsfw) to sans)

 

unknownanoymous please inform people if you are linking to undertail

 

sorry!

 

you are forgiven

 

frisk's constant -_- face isn't really indicative of what they're feeling all the time. not because they try to supress their emotional expression, but because that's just their face.

they have facial expressions, they're just...small. unless they're actively putting on that expression.

as a result of this, on camera they either look like they've got no facial expression beyond a flat eyes-half-lidded glare, or like they're faking all their facial expressions because technically they are (even though it's more that they're exaggerating for the camera).

their unimpressed-looking -_- face becomes a meme.

 

Frisk would make a good strider/lalonde