Customer Service Thread

Yet again another couple bringing their ketubah to be framed with completely different aesthetic tastes so they couldn't agree on anything, took up like 45 mins of my time and left without buying anything. :'>


Also:

Me: I'm sorry but we can't do that, *explains company safety policy*

Customer: but the place down the street I just came from it wasn't a problem at!

Me: I wish for the sweet embrace of the void

 

A shirt that's been unfolded to be tried on a single time isn't "used" and ordering a new one is silly.
I'll do it, but I'll be rolling my eyes the whole time.

 

>customer comes up to the register just as I'm turning off my light to go to break
>whatev, she has a soda and a bag of chips, I ain't fussed
>while I'm ringing her up a Latino dude starts loading his stuff. I don't know enough Spanish to get across "this lane is closed", he evidently doesn't understand English or my attempts at gesturing
>{This Is Fine}
>Spanish dude wants a can of baby formula, I take him over to the (locked) case to get it
>while we're doing that, a third customer manages to get their entire order onto the belt (at which point we are not allowed to ask them to move)
>[internal screaming]

 

@Loq reasons I do not miss being a cashier: the death glares when there's a line and despite there being several cashiers people still look at you like you killed their firstborn if you leave to go on your (scheduled) break

Also my current uniform is an apron and sometimes I actually take it off to go to the bathroom when the store is busy so I don't get stopped on the way there...

 

"Do you guys do moneygram?" "No, sorry about that." "What about Walmart, do they do it?" I have no idea! I don't work there!

 

Wait why is the baby formula in a locked case???

 

Idk man there's plenty of other stuff out on the floor that costs more.

...a quick google search brings up an announcement (from Nevada, admittedly, which is not where I am) that powdered baby formula is/was used as a mixer for coke and heroin, and the area I am in does have a heroin problem, so. Maybe that??

 

but. would it have to be baby formula? I am not a heroin-mixing expert, but regular ol' powdered milk is basically the same thing as formula minus a bunch of nutrients?? is that locked up???

 

I don't know why the existence of powdered milk surprises me, but here I am, brain stuck in a loop of "powdered????? milk?????"

We don't sell that :P

Other strange things that are locked up at our store: lube (but not the mechanical lube in the tiny tiny car section), a specific line from a specific brand of razor (but no other razors), female/vagnia-having-person condoms (but not condoms for dick-having people)

 

Baby formula is frequently stolen due in part to price, and in part due to people apparently reselling it on ebay and such.

[Edit:] Or, that's what i've heard anyways.

 

Lube and all condoms are locked up at my local pharmacy because we have a lot of teenagers apparently too embarrassed to actually buy them but the rest of that is beyond me.

 

...
Pharmacy Dude #1: none of these teenagers will actually purchase condoms
Pharmacy Dude #2, a jerk: why is that my problem
Pharmacy Dude #1: wellllll... they're shoplifting them
Pharmacy Dude #2, a heartless capitalist: !!!! LOCK THE CONDOMS UP
Pharmacy Dude #1: ...but won't they be even more afraid to buy them if it's a whole Process involving asking the clerk to go over and unlock the case?
Pharmacy Dude #2, an idiot: teen pregnancy and STDs are a liberal conspiracy

sorry I'm real silly rn

 

Customer: "hi, I was in a week ago to get a prescription, is it still ready?"
Me: "no, we typically don't keep prescriptions on the shelf that long. I can refill it for you, it'll be ready in 15 minutes."
Customer, grumpy: "okay, I'll be back next week."

?????

 

????????

 

Got another one today! Grumpy guy comes up to drop off prescriptions, doesn't say a word, just shoves the papers at me. Then when he picks them up I'm guiding him through the prompts ("okay, click there, sign there, now it's ready for your card") and he's like "I can read, you know", as condescending as he can.

Wow!! An adult white man in America can read! I kind of thought that was safe to assume, asshat :) I'm doing my job, because while our customers can read, that doesn't mean they do read. Fuck off.

 

lord give me strength as I explain to this person that the sublimation process involves an inkjet printer and there is no combination of cyan, magenta, yellow, and/or black that will print a white moon on his silver aluminum thing and if he really needs the moon to be white he needs to find someone who does screen printing and that is not us

 

You ever have a customer go up to the register when you're not there, and just start ringing themselves up and operating the screen for you? I hate those people a lot.

 

Do people actually do that? Holy shit. Who would do that.

 

So, I work in a private school as the trainee librarian, and here are some of the lowlights of my experience so far:

• I was doing stock check and found a condom wrapper sans condom and stuck in with lube in the back of a playscript
• We have a simple coffee, hot chocolate, and hot water machine in the library and one time the drip tray was so full of cold hot chocolate it washed over my fingers each time I inched it over towards the sink. I had to do this without putting it down, because of course the bottom of the drip tray is slanted to make it easier to pull out from the machine.
• The atmosphere controls are controlled from somewhere other than the library, and the headmaster likes to keep the library at a chilly temperature out of a misguided idea that it makes people work harder. Why the classrooms aren't kept at this temperature I don't know, but I digress. Last summer the atmosphere controls' sensor seriously fucked up, and thought it was way hotter in the library than it was, to the extent that we the librarians had to go outside every so often to stand in the sun and just soak up warmth before going back in again to freeze.
• Regarding the hot drinks machine, we provide cheap charity-shop-sourced mugs for the students to use rather than disposable cups, because it's more environmentally friendly. We started out the September before last with like, roughly sixty thermos cups printed with the school's logo on the side. They all disappeared, over time. We replaced them with significantly cheaper and fewer mugs, and they stopped disappearing quite so rapidly, although the occasional one still went missing. The new problem was that instead of putting their mugs in the dishwasher when done, which a) a sign asks them to do b) the dishwasher is labelled c) the dishwasher is literally right below the hot drinks machine and the sink, they'd leave their mugs all through the library (including, at least once, on a shelf behind the books) or, most absolutely bafflingly, in the sink right above the dishwasher. Where they would fill up with water and hot drink dregs, which would spill out of them down the sides and onto the spoons that were also inevitably left in the sink. Which we then had to pick out and put in the dishwasher. Mmmm. (We finally seem to have just about solved this problem by keeping the mugs in the library office, and taking something from the students that they "won't leave without" which we cache in exchange for a mug. They get their thing back when we see them put the mug in the dishwasher. It means whoever's on the front desk has to bounce between there and the pile of mugs like five or six times per lesson change, but honestly I'd bounce far further and far more frequently to never see a gross mug in that sink again.

 

"Would you like your meat in plastic bags?"
"Oh, no, that's fine, I brought my own"
>start bagging
"Oh, could you put my meat in plastic?"

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