shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[Well I don´t know where Aperture is either. Glados has eyes everywhere.]
-Chell has decided it is safe to sit on her cubestack-

 

Liiiiiies! [This sounds disproportionately cheerful.] Hasn't got any on Licentus, I know that for sure. Therefore, not everywhere.

 

-cube bonk- [Smartass. But ok, fair. Still wouldn´t count on her not having eyes here]

 

[The cube is deflected again, flying off in a random direction. Hopefully not towards @Pre-Mortem but who knows; Amalgamous certainly isn't aiming.]

I can be paranoid about everything or overconfident. Both at once gets messy and if I understand right wouldn't work here anyhow.

 

[it´s not paranoia if she´s really watching. I´m still notsure why my portals sometime throw me in here. Or why she pretends like she hasn´t noticed anything when I wind up back there.]

 

Hmmmmmm. Variance! You mentioned test subjects-- is the sentient element the test, or are they testing the device?

 

Not in a situation where I can get many instruments for Real Science. I've been reduced to observation, mostly.

-it does fly towards her, but she swings her axe and the wave of force stops it. Good axe, best friend.-

 

Well if you go over there and I stay here, we can at least do this on some level.

 

[How should I know? I´m just the guinea pig. These cubes weren´t there last time i was here. Hmmm. Wait this is the place where I can make stuff right?]
-a cup of hot tea appears, followed by a plate heaped with food beginning with steak and fries and ending in salad. No apples though. Chell makes some cubes happen in a table like formation and start s eating-

 

Hm, fair, I suppose telling you the purpose of the test could alter results... probably not a stress-test in that case, though...

Anyway! Where are these other test subjects and what happens when they die?

 

[Far as I know they already did die. I´m the only one left. Well I was until she built the robot ones. Blue and Orange. To replace human testing]

 

If humans aren't being tested anymore can I have your wormhole cannon?

 

[Hell no! Go find your own. This thing is my life insurance. I wonder if in here, I can make them big enough to fit you.]

 

Oh, is there a size limit normally?

 

[Well, the portal usually only get as big as they they get. No idea why]
-she shoots another portal into the ground next to the first one. An unlucky mi pounces in and is bounced back and forth until she moves the portal]

 

"hisssss!"

 

[I´m sorry fluffball I didn´t see you!]

 

Hm. That seems impractical. Bet we can make it better.

 

[You can try. Good luck getting it from Her]

 

...hm. Yes, that is the problem, isn't it... not knowing where she is and all... where's Vek when you need him, for that matter?