shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Oh joyous day, I, the great renowned Muse of Arts, have reappeared in this realm, ready to be spoiled.
[He's wearing loose silk harem pants, a long chiffon coat like thing and a whole lot of glitter, necklaces and toerings today. He takes a long while slooooowly draping himself onto a luxurious looking couch. This bird clearly is in depserate need of a nap. Or a coffee.]

 

Too bad! No spoiling here, unless you mean of perfectly good experiments dying in the sentio because someone won't give me her minicannon.

 

How dare you. Spoiling me is good for the soul don't you know? Missy, you should give the demanding giant mechanical eldritch monster your cannon thingy. Trade it. Trade it in for coffee or something. Maybe something to eat? Oh I would give so much for some petit fours right now...
[He makes big tired and pitiful eyes at @Chell and @Amalgamous Prime in turn. Sad birb.]

 

[Someone likes living and frankly doesn´t trust giant robots all that much.]
-Her tone is halfway between amused and sarcastic. She makes a Mala sized portal on the ceiling and point her portalgun at him-

 

[You know you can just make food right? Look]
-makes food happen. it is however steak, not petit fours-

 

That's entirely besides the point.
[He still summons an elegant étagère loaded with ridiculously fancy pastries and confectionaries and begins delicately nibbling on some.]

 

[Well yeah, it´s food. That´s what´s important. Are you going to eat all of that?]

 

Oh never. Sitting around looking pretty does not burn enough calories to make me capable of eating that much. You must lead a very active lifestyle.
[He is still very carefully and delicately nibbling on his pastry. Taking "eating like a bird" to a whole new level of literalism.]

 

We can make food here? Right, lucid, very weird dream.

-summons up a steak sandwich, so rare it's only cooked enough she doesn't have to worry about parasites or food poisoning, and eats the SHIT out of it, quietly because she's gotten used to doing everything quietly if she she can. But still like she doesn't give a shit for propriety and is more concerned with enjoying it, because she doesn't and she is-

 

Ford groans. "Stop trying to recruit my kids. You still haven't proven to me that you are properly accredited. And I'd like to see a list of your faculty, and all their publications."

 

-steals some pastries-

[Yup. Real food too, not mystery can contents]

 

Trust I'll give you, you're a smart girl. Living? Living's got nothing to do with it. Unless you mean you've figured out how to weaponize that thing, in which case by all means...

And please, do try! It apparently harms neither organic beings nor metal, I should like to see what teleportation of this sort feels like.

 

Oh no. Someone's stealing my fancy french baked stuff.
However will I deal with this.
[... Apparently by continuing to eat]

Something does not have to be a weapon to be a life insurance.
[He sounds lazy and as if he's reciting or quoting something.]

 

[Haha] -french baked stuff is eaten.-

[What he said]
-makes a portal under Mala, causing him to fall through and out of the one in the ceiling, whatever that means in this space-

 

[Teggy watches this portal nonsense with a tired smile, still more laying than sitting.]
Bravo! Do it again! A Backflip this time!
[He sounds incredibly monotone and sarcastic]

 

-She opens a portal under Him, deadpan-

 

[Look at who suddenly has wings and floats above the portal, looking extremely insulted as he flaps his wings.]
You would do this to me after I let you have some of my fancy cake? I'm hurt.

 

[You asked for a backflip through a portal]

 

Well, yes, but if it was essential to her function you'd think she'd have grafted it on by now.

[He whoops, drops through the portal, and glides away on new (temporary) wings to avoid Infinite Portal Loop-- oh look, the portal under him vanished anyway. Oh well!]

 

Darling, I'm allergic to exercise, you'll have to find someone else for these acrobatics.