shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[dave appears at the mention of dead shit, floating on his stomach nearby, chin in his hands]
oh shit sounds like it was a good one
gimme the deets

 

[Satisfied nod. Okay, maker is safe. Good.] <Name? I'm Sunscourge.>

 

This is my first time liquefying a corpse but they're not supposed to go full melty in a day and half? That shit's supposed to take like a week, right? I didn't even get to watch the progress, I just popped in the next day and now serving: corpse soup in acid. I tried to close the barrel but the fumes or some shit ate the seal? And then it started slopping all over the medroom floor. I could smell it from the floor below, which happened to be the dining room. Which I had to cross to get to the kitchen.

So: most of the zombie corpses stay remarkably preserved, sitting on the ground in the middle of july. Barely even stink. Stick them in acid and they make up for lost time? Fuck if I know.

 

ahaha sick
i know sulphuric acid is pretty strong stuff but yeah thats still pretty fuckin quick
you got anything to neutralize it with or nah

 

[Sprocket! There´s a Scout called Thunderwing here sometimes. And a Jetbug called Refractor! I like them.]

 

<Jet-bug?> [Confused facegrooming.]

 

[A Jet who can also be a Bug! He has three forms!] -excited gesturing-

 

!! [Excited chirping.] <Good!!! His swarm must be proud. Ground was generous!>

 

Nothing I could think of offhand, and then the asshole with the helicopter came back and cemented my move. Fucker led another hoard RIGHT ON TOP OF ME. Some two hundred zeds all over my nice mountain home. I think I was a little too far from civilization, even though it was actually a shorter walk. But it was a giant-ass conspicuous house surrounded by woodlands. Had my own lagoon. And a bunch of doomsday preppers had stocked the place pretty good, though they never made it there for the Actual Apocalypse, irony of ironies. But I think the military kept wanting to check out the Big Obvious Solitary house.

So I packed everything I could carry and moved north. Been at the farm on the other end Muldraugh, only a few other houses and the Pony Roam-o nearby and half a day's walk from most major population centers. I could get to Phoenix in a few hours from the lagoon house. But I'm mostly set up, only need to make town runs occasionally.

 

everybody wants the cool apocalypse castle man no one considers there might already be someone in the hot property
at least you left one hell of a surprise for whoever comes in there next i guess
what is this mysterious stanky sludge that has melted through the floor
theyll never guess it was once tim from accounting risen from the dead then returned to it via fun acid time

 

Shush, you. I have the best taste.
[Just fucking. Scold the demigod, Armory, jsut DO IT]

Fidelis, love, we're going to get this over with a lot quicker if we all ty to get along. Please?

 

Well, as long as you're collecting murderers I suppose I won't be too bad an influence.

 

[I think his ship is! But was with standards for a long while.] -disapproving chirp-

 

-cackles- I did it all for science!

Amature science hour, granted, but it's still science!

 

[Disapproving chirps in stereo.] <Standards. Was, though? He has a proper swarm now?>

 

[She gently whacks the nearest bit of Mala's plating.]
I "collect" people who need help. Don't be silly.

 

look if we didnt have amateur fucks taking roadkill home or melting corpses we wouldnt have had anyone to make the first discoveries
we gotta honor the memory of whoever decided to put something dead in a jar or to poke carrion with a stick its a fucking tradition and i will not let it die like the things we have a long and storied history of messing with

 

[The nearest bit of plating becomes a fang-filled mouth to play-snap at the hand that bopped them. Should they actually manage to catch Armory, it'll barely even scratch her paint.] I'll be silly as I please, who do you think you're talking to?

 

Once I find another of those little plastic containers I am totally making a Mad Science lab. I've got a fuckton of chemicals and beakers and shit, I took Chemistry in high school, what can go wrong?

I found a dead jay- I'm not so hard up on food that I'm gonna eat it and one of the farmers must have had... I unno, an antique feather duster collection or something? I'm not gonna need feathers either. So I've got him in a jar that wouldn't seal properly for food so I just superglued that shit shut.

 

[His mates are standards. Standards can be nice! He seems happy?]