shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[Can´t learn stuff unless you poke stuff.]

 

What's zombies? Seen lots of things. Eaten most of them.

 

What´s a zombie?

 

<Poke things the warriors and scouts bring in! Not weird things that come knocking.> [Fussfusschirr.]

 

In media there are mostly two types, and the ones I'm dealing with are kinda both: there are infection zombies, which are caused by a disease, and traditional dead zombies. The ones from the Knox Event are caused by an illness, but people don't go zombie until they die while infected and experience a 'resurrection event,' the news called it. Which is when they get up and start trying to eat people. Zombies are... the shells of people but nothing else that made them people. I've had to help a lot of people who won't fight back because they saw someone they knew in the hoard and tried to talk sense to them. They're all aggression and no brains, can't even use doors anymore, much less tools. They don't talk but they've got a nasty growl- wonder if the infection does that? Next time I Do a Science on a body I'll have to take a look. Last time I was in the city a bunch must have been trapped on the third floor of a building- someone must have barricaded the door to the stairs or something- and they'd smashed a window. They do this with their head usually, by the way, almost never with their hands.

Spoiler: slightly gorey

The number of zombies I've encountered with things stuck in their face from breaking windows, doors, barricades... it's honestly disturbing.

Anyway they hadn't even realized they were three floors up and started pouring out the window. After the first three turned into meat waffles you'd think they'd learn but nope, the whole hoard comes raining down as they break more windows. And the ones that did somehow survive are crawling around, completely unaffected by their shattered legs, trying to eat anyone who gets too close.

They don't care for meat that doesn't come off people, either. They've let critters out of my traps investigating, but I've never found a rabbit with a bite out or anything. Scared the shit out of my dog, but never tried to eat him either except when he jumped one. Won't eat corpses either, or the streets would be a lot cleaner. They're just... empty shells of anger and hunger.

 

[Warriors miss some of the interesting things! And can´t talk to things.]

 

Like frames without sparks or brain modules. Except also like sparkeaters. -shudders-

 

What's a sparkeater? Unless you don't wanna share, I get not everyone gets the 'fascination' part of horror-fascination.

 

They eat sparks, and they´re very fast and mean! In the stories. It´s said they can lay dormant for centuries on end. I´ve never seen any!

 

"I always get called a zombie," Anhelia says. "I'm glad you know the difference."

 

As long as you don't chew on me we're cool -thumbs up-

 

You're far too pretty to be a zombie, dear. That should be their first hint.

 

"I hardly even eat, so nothing to be concerned about there! Although i siphon off life energy from everyone within a half-mile, unless there's a nearby artificial source. Here there is such."

 

"I even tell them that. They aren't too receptive to it, I find."

 

Sounds like it wouldn't be much of a problem in a dense area. You look like a city kinda girl.

 

In my experience zombies don't talk much beyond "rnnnnnngh" "mmmmmnnnnnhhhhh" awful growl noises and the occasional gurgle.

 

Pfah! They aren't worth your time then. The fools. Never serve them tea again.

 

They make for very boring conversationalists. Unless we are one of those trendy zombie romance films. Or what were trendy.

What it was to be young and hip. Who knows what the kids like these days. Maybe we have gone back to vampires.

 

"Should be dead and aren't is all they seem to know."

"I do not plan to. And I do drink the stuff."

 

"Right on point there! I keep to cities and travel in an insulated capsule if I have to. I've killed and never want to again like that."