shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"It is not. It's still better to be as I am than dead and buried …"

"Absolutely. Cats and I, we do well together."

 

You are a good woman, then. Appreciates mint, tea, cats, and hugs. What is not to like?

 

I like anyone who talks to cats. I haven't seen a lot of non-zombs who haven't tried to shoot me lately, so my main conversation partner is Rottie. He must have been part of the farm I took over, I ran into him as I came up on it. Big ol' Rottweiler, don't know what his name was- the tags had been ripped off. His owner must have set him loose before... -she goes quiet, drinks her tea-

 

"War brings destruction, but I think that kind is most cruel. To become a mindless thing that attacks people I care about."

She shudders a little at the thought.

"Still lost almost everyone I knew, but not like that."

 

He had... opted not to. He was still alive when I got to the house. I tried to find him, he was talking to himself- he must have been sick, was worried he was infected, he said he hadn't been bit or scratched- but he was in the same room as the radio, made it harder to tell where he was coming from. I didn't reach him in time. He must have heard how the infection changed outside the Exclusion Zone. I could have told him it hadn't changed inside.

 

Some standards would call us zombies then. Not dead, though. [Was that a joke? His tone stays completely even.] Haven't seen that, anyway. Heard of it, out in... [disgruntled clicking.] Forget the system. Some planet with toxic crystals, something about their resonance with cooling spark-crystal. Some 'bots got stuck there. Story spread. [Shrug.]

[Mock-offended, starting to puff up:] <Warriors can talk to all the things! Even idiot-standards!>

Sparkeaters eat sparks.
Old story, standard story. Beast-thing, lives on spark energy of living. Again, could just be us. [He bares his fangs and spreads his chelicerae wide in something... vaguely approximating a smile.]

 

[I can talk to standards! But you can´t bring us things we can talk to! they don´t wanna talk then.]
-comes over to @Ana-Amari - Could I try some of this 'tea' ?

 

<Clearly your hive's warriors aren't as good as me, then.> [Overexaggerated preening.]

 

-mock offense. [There plenty good! And handsome!]

 

"You - you guys are dealing with zombies? I hope, hope you've got something a lot stronger than tea," Rick burps around the word 'tea', taking a swig from his flask.

 

"Are you meaning to imply tea is not the answer to all woes, good sir?"
Simon delicately holds a very ornate cup, wrinkling his nose at Rick's... everything

 

<Well of course they're handsome, we're all handsome!> [More preening, much flashing of gold bits.]

 

"Well, uh, duh? Anything that can't get me at least buzzed has no use being in my body. Unless," Rick interrupts himself with a long burp, looking very unimpressed. "unless it's food, but I mean, that's kind of a buzz all by itself. And tea tastes like ass, just - just a big load of liquefied ass, inside a over dramatic package."

 

Ass doesn't taste that much different from any other body part. [Shrug.]

 

It's not like tea cannot be modified accordingly with an ethanol variant of your choice

 

"Well shit, okay, I mean all to their own I guess. It's not like I have that much experience with ass, but it's whatever."

"Yeah but why drink that when you can drink straight ethanol. Just, nothin' but ethanol." Rick looks at his flask pointedly. "What do you think I carry around with me all the time? Normal booze? I'll leave that to the amateurs, thanks."

 

Because that tends to kill people and then you are back at the zombie problem, I believe. But... congratulations on your excellently trained liver?

 

"Shame on you. Buy better tea."
Simon shakes his head, dosapprovingly.

 

[Armory looks up from where she was fussing at Veritas, visor fixing on the new arrival, @Updraft ]
Oh, hello there.

 

Hello to you, too. [subdued handwringing] I admit I am out of practice for this part.