TFs: DARE TO BE STUPID

And it has repercussions all the way up through about issue 40 of phase two's exrid (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

 

Spoiler: large?

 

From the Forged To Fight game! Apparently my team of mixed-continuity, mixed-faction robots just called in G1 Soundwave for an assist, and he's arguing with G1 Starscream, who is working for the Quintessons. I think they're using dark energon to corrupt people or something? My brain consistently peaces right out once Quintessons get involved in anything, so I haven't been following the dialogue too closely, but I'm pretty sure Soundwave is telling Starscream that Quintessons are assholes.

 

First, additional Prowl song that legit occurred to me MINUTES before I saw the post in this thread

Spoiler: lyrics

Well I'll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you happened to call
And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin's eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest
Ten years ago
I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms
And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It's all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
I've already paid

Also, because @coldstars is the WORST about coming up with hilarious, ridiculous, strangely gripping new ideas. So, okay. You know humans who have fun with robot xeno? Consider. Robots who have fun with human xeno. I know this has been touched on here or there, but guys. Guys. The rabbit hole goes so far down

Spoiler: nsfw sample

Shamelessly stolen joke: Thundercracker's fics are all rated T. For Ten Boobs. Because just look at Buster! She's got tons of them, and Marissa, you taught him about mammals and evolution, you can't trick him now!

Decepticons on earth picking up organic kinks, because haha silly and weird and taboo. But then oops, some of them are into it unironically?

Like this pregnancy thing (for transformers that definitely don't do sparklings). FREAKY. How does this even work? Does it work like... the powerthirst video? (you'll have babies! four hundred babies!) I mean... hot spots can produce thousands and thousands of mechs, so it makes sense. It's the most efficient way to do this, after all.

Thundercracker wants to create the most beautiful human holoavatar. What's the peak of human beauty? The ultimate in human sexiness? It's... Jessica Rabbit? Let's do this, one photorealistic Jessica Rabbit coming right up (or just in general, Thundercracker uses the internet as his metric for how much boobage a person should have)

Various decepticons get curious about this organic kink thing and go to ask thundercracker about it. He gets super enthusiastic and tells them that it's weird, but here, he wrote this story that lays it out in a way that really makes sense! (guess how accurate these stories are)

Organic kinks start to spread through the decepticons. Soundwave is like no no nO NO NO NO

Rumble and Frenzy get into it. Originally they're just doing it to torque off Soundwave but then oops, they're kinking on it sincerely

Cybertronians are fascinated by boobs. Because okay, they can at least kind of understand alien spikes and alien valves. But... boobs? Large... chest glands? That produce fluid? But the weird and forbidden is always going to draw someone. Basically, I'm saying, you know strap-on dicks? Strap-on boobs, for a robot the size of a car.

Also, an excuse for Cybertronians and lingerie.

Cybertronians getting confused by human terminology. So, you have two... gonads? Gonads are sex organs? Oh my god, guys, humans have TWO SPIKES, this is totally canon!

Cybertronians absorb all sorts of weird sex trivia from across the animal kingdom. Because hey, just look how different Cybertronians can be! So obviously earthlings have some variation in their junk, it only makes sense. Cybertronians learn about cat dicks. Cybertronians learn about dog dicks. A passion for knotting sweeps through Soundwave's camp.

He goes to Thundercracker and is like please. stop this madness.

And Thundercracker is like oh, hey, Soundwave, did you know that elephants will sometimes lean on their dick as an extra support?

Soundwave is like you have even taken the innocence of elephants away from me what have I done to deserve this hell

Also Cybertronians are writing and drawing porn with anatomy like these pictures and saying hey, you can't prove it doesn't exist! They're aliens!! Also boobs produce fluid --> boobs produce fluid constantly. Cybertronians kinking sincerely on these as the organic ideal.

Spoiler: extra nsfw

There's more and it just doesn't stop from happening, but that is enough for my poor, limited attention span

So to finish on a downer note, Thundercracker and his holoavatar, whether it's himself acting as himself, or... whether he's recoloring his avatar into Soundscream's colors. So he can pretend like he isn't as alone as he actually is. Get lost in masturbation from that direction, and you can hold onto the fantasy of being not-alone, find that headspace and cling to it, because you're touching and being touched, and they're distinct, experiences, so you don't feel like you're by yourself, right? Throwing himself more into idolizing the organic experience, because he's been pretty solidly rejected by the two cybertronians he cared about most, and the third has died tragically. Thundercracker cuddling with his holoavatar, because it's like he's holding a trinemate's holoavatar, or like he's being held by his trinemate, and then it's like he's a little less alone.