shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

now thats a fuckin motto slap that shit on my wall god damn
gimme some
[he holds up his fist. bunp all the mechs!]

 

☟︎❍︎. ︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ♓︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⬧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♓︎■︎ ︎❒︎♓︎❍︎♋︎●︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ✋︎ ⧫︎❒︎♋︎■︎⬧︎●︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎✍︎ ❄︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♋︎⍓︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎⍓︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎ ⬧︎♏︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ♓︎⧫︎︎⬧︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ &︎◆︎⬧︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ ⧫︎❒︎⍓︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⬧︎❍︎□︎□︎⧫︎♒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎ □︎❖︎♏︎❒︎ □︎❒︎ ⧫︎♋︎●︎&︎♓︎■︎♑︎ □︎❖︎♏︎❒︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎.

Spoiler

Hm. What if you say it in Primal and I translate? That way they can see that it's not just me trying to smooth things over or talking over you.

[She stares at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, optic band flickering with her resetting it.]
Uh...
[When she finally catches on her optics turn back to Fidelis, who she is still holding and won't let go any time soon... Then she turns back to Dave. Eventually she makes a tiny little "Aha!" and very very carefully and slowly lowers her torso until one of her pauldrons with a giant handprint painted on it is in reach for bunps]
Woudl this suffice for this ritual, sir?

 

[dave shrugs and high fives the handprint on her pauldron. he's not doing to bunp an open palm, that's just fuckin' unacceptable]

its not a ritual really more like hell yeah what you just said there was awesome and i would like to acknowledge that in a most sweet and dudely manner
and you dont have to call me sir the names dave but dude or bro or hey you or that guy is fine too
whatre you called

 

...⚐︎&︎♋︎⍓︎. ︎♋︎■︎ ♎︎□︎ ⧫︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎. ︎◆︎◻︎◻︎□︎⬧︎♏︎.

Spoiler

...Fine. Can do that. Suppose.

 

Very Well, Dave. My designation is Armory of Alyon and this is my bondmate and trusted sword Fidelis. My other bondmates are around as well, at least some times. I am glad you find my description of the duties of a Knight Of Cybertron to your tastes, I take it you yourself are a Knight of... an organic order then?

❄︎♒︎♋︎■︎&︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ●︎□︎❖︎♏︎. ︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♋︎⍓︎ □︎■︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ●︎♋︎◻︎ □︎❒︎ ♎︎□︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♑︎□︎ ♌︎♋︎♍︎&︎ □︎■︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ♌︎♋︎♍︎&︎✍︎

Spoiler

Thank you love. Want to stay on my lap or do you want to go back on my back?

 

-wordlessly he unfolds himself from her lap, climbs onto her shoulder and takes up his usual place on her back, transforming seamlessly back to sword mode as he does-

 

[he waves at both of them]

thats pretty fucking cool so youre like a squad? a cadre of cool ass metal motherfuckers defending idk the galaxy cybertron whatever thats awesome as shit
and ehhhhhh sort of but not
really
i mean im a knight like for sure
but my uh order is the concept of time like in general

 

[She makes a fond little noise and pets the sword hilt lightly, uncurling a little too and stretching her legs out.]

That sounds interesting to say the least.
[Her battle mask retracts and she smiles]
As for the Knights Of Cybertron, well...
Once upon a time during the age of myths and wonder our Creator, the Lightbringer Primus and his sibling-children the Guiding Hand were engaged in eternal warfare with Primus' archnemesis Unicron, the Chaosbringer and his servant, their brother Mortilus, Death-bringer. While they managed to strike down Mortilus and fight Unicron into retreating for a moment, they were gravely wounded and thus they realized that Cybertron's population needed ways to withstand the onslaught of the Unmaker's wrath, when He inevitably was to return.
And so Epistemus, He-who-knows-all, bore forth a brain module to give Cybertronians the smarts to outwit the Unmaker, and Adaptus of infinite shapes bore forth a transformation cog for Cybertronians to be able to adapt in the face of unrelenting Chaos. Finally Solomus of the wisdom of the stars bore forth a sacred artifact only to be wielded by those worthy by Primus' grace and imbued with all the wisdom of all those to champion for the Lightbringer. And their gifts delivered their sparks left the Miracle Planet, Cybertron, with those among their creations who had proven worthy and willing, to spread peace and order to the far reaches of the universe. These dutibound sparks became known as the Knights of Cybertron and their ranks I am looking to join.

 

[dave is silent for a few moments, processing all this]

god damn
what dyou gotta do to join their ranks you seem pretty knightly to me
is the guiding hand stuff why youve got hands painted on

i had some time travel shit going from pretty much the start of things but then me and my sister blew ourselves up and we became gods and then her and me and all our friends made a universe and the time stuff got way cooler but also less cool i guess cause i'm not manipulating the stock market anymore but i mean
thats not the point

 

[She laughs quietly]
In part yes, but also due to- [She summons an aerial view of a plateau littered with glowing orbs... in the shape of a handprint.] The hotspot I hail from, although this information has been kept quiet fo a long time. I only uncovered its shape and the fact that... something went on there, very recently.
As for what I have to do... I do not know, I simply know I must join with them. It is a feeling deep within my spark.

 

[Onyx is blatantly staring at Armory, all six eyes gone bright blue.]

 

Of course you do, twice-forged. Even immortals cannot escape their destinies.
[... A very spiky, very big brass and purple mech flickers into existence from a shadowed corner. He doesn't appear to have it in himself to actively threaten anyone, though his looming built makes it easy for him to seem threatening nevertheless.]

 

[dave raises his eyebrows above his shades]

so theres some sort of hand conspiracy going on or what
a carpal cult if you will
good luck doing the thing though yo

[dave wordlessly angles himself so he could still be plausibly just having a casual conversation, but so that his back isn't turned on New Spooky Ominous Dude]

 

C-can I help?

You!
[She stands, abruptly, @Veritas throwing himself at her and transforming into axemode as she immediately takes position to shield Dave and anyone else around]

 

[She looks over her shoulder, smiling before her battlemask snaps shut]
Thank you, Dave. Now please do your best to stay out of harms way and be very careful, the Unmaker has made an appearance.

 

"I-I-I guess, I mean - I mean, he has changed since we first started going out on - on adventures. B-But still, it's h-hard to not feel like a replacement from how all the o-o-other Ricks act towards - towards us Mortys."

Morty stops, looking shocked and upset. "W-What do you mean - mean by eat Ricks? W-Why would - would anyone eat - eat R-Rick? I mean - mean besides some of the things we've - we've fought."

 

[Unicron seems impossibly weary]
I do not wish for strife here, twice-forged. I am quite through with senselessly striking at the Lightbringer's court whenever given the opportunity.
... I see your sword has found his way back to you.

 

Sparks that re-emerge from the Well are often called to those they were close to in previous incarnations; for example, two of my brothers were aemulae endura-- kismeses, I think one of the trolls called the concept?-- in their first lives, and the current pair can't seem to stop wrecking the universe in horrible attempts to one-up each other even though neither of them remembers their previous relationship so far as I've been able to see. That Ad-- that Armory feels called to join the Hand, reduced though they are in the time when she reforges herself, is...

...well. It's no mistake.

Can, have, will--

--but not by doing that, at least not yet. This is a dreaming plane, none of us can do lasting damage here, him included.

 

Does your sort of people not eat problems? You are small, but that doesn't even stop scraplets...

 

[She lowers Veritas hesitantly, though she keeps an optic on Unicron.]
Right- right... I know that... It still seems... paramount but-
[She grits her dentae, straightening a little.]
Apologies.