shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

That is very sensible, though i imagine that practice matches with a sword can be somewhat hard to come by these days.

Uhm. [He leans down to Dave, trying to understand what's going on. But hey, three million years of studying organic habit's gotta come in handy at some point, and usually you can't go that wrong and if you just mirror them. Unless it was a threat display, but this doesn't seem to be. He holds his own fist into potential reach] Like this?

 

"Not much" and "not often" aren't "nothing" and "never." Everyone has something to offer, even if they haven't figured it out yet.

 

Morty smiles sheepishly, laughing. "You - you, uh, got me t-there. A-Ah jeez, thanks. That - that really makes me f-feel bet-better."

 

Very much so. We practice among eachother often, though Fidelis refuses to be wielded by anyone but me of course. But then not many foes wield living weapons these days. At least not in close quarters, I hear guns and rifles, cannons... those are still while not common, not unusual per se.

 

[Soothechirp. Sounds something like a very sleepy, quiet cricket.] Welcome.

Correct.

 

I have heard about that, yes. I seem to recall that they were quite sought after during the war, though I doubt that it was something they had much choice in at that point.

 

*conditionally mortal js js
hashtag humblebrag

hot damn look at my yiff twin
see i thought it was just weird you reminded me a little of my sister but now this is double weird
a fuckin seafood buffet of weird
good taste in shitty swords though

YES hell yes
give
me
some

[dave bunps his fist, and smiles juuust a little bit]

 

Mortal by my world's standards: not a spirit and by extension not a god. The definitions are different than other places, I understand. My siblings are the only ones to ascend to godhood, and only because we were in part spirit.

If it makes things less weird, we weren't related at all. We're only siblings in having found each other and become gods together, but I consider him more my brother than the others because we were both more clearly marked as Spirit-touched.

 

yeah where im from you just gotta die on a bed made of rock and then wham bam thank you maam youre a bonafide diety

and im not sure what that does to the weird might be more weird might be less weird cause me and rose are actually related but my brother is my dad and my best friend made me in a lab so whether or not you two came from like
sharktopus
is sort of just the inedible weird garnish on the side of the weird buffet

 

Much simpler than cannibalizing a god, for certain.

Well, we each have a third parent of sorts- a spirit's influence in our conception- but it's unlikely any of us share one. Our colorless magic is too different.

 

Oh! Er... I hope that is not rude but do you know of someone? I would... I think it would do Bang and Pow good to meet people similar to them maybe, and social- oof!
[She wheezes faintly at the twin onslaught of minibots barrelling into her making incoherent protesting noises about as far from words as they can get]
N-no sweeties no I don't want to give you away or replace you, I j- I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, my apologies. Come here, do you two want a hug?
[Time to fuss at baby guns. She gives Sunscourge an apologetic look]

Yes I fear the same. From what I have heard there were some... troubling practices.

 

jesus dick yeah i so dont want to dine on lord english
hes probably all sweaty and nasty no amount of special sauce can cover THAT fucking mess up

ok so
whats colorless magic then
i thought colors were overcomplicated when it came to trolls but oh lawdy
was i wrong

 

[Entertained chittering? What entertained chittering, this is. Concern. Yes. Obviously. (To any nearby insecticons or trolls, it is clearly badly-smothered laughter.)]

Know of, not know. And he is not someone I'd want near... [clickclickclick. What is the right word?] ...young ones, anyway. Good fighter, but...

 

THAT WAS *SO* SMOOTH, YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL SO YOUR PRISTINE, FRICTIONLESS BODY DOESN'T START SLIPPING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A GREASED OINKBEAST

 

-laughs- It was unpleasant. For all parties.

Color can only be used for things related to it. Silver can only be used for luck, or preservation/decay. For some things, there is no Color that matches. Most mortals can't control them, because they can only use Color magic. But spirits can, and so spirit-touched can. Because it's not tied to a Color, it's Colorless. I could control storms and see the rivers of fate. Balancekeeper could see where things connected, and where they broke apart. The Laughing Lord was never lost, and could hear down currents of wind or water.

 

so what happens when a mortal can fuck with colorless magic
cause i know a guy who can do the windy thing like your uh laughing lord
the giggles god
and let me tell you its pretty fucking badass

 

[More laughchitters, not even trying to hide them this time.] Didn't know squishstandards learned bugspeak!

 

I WENT DOWN THIS ROAD WITH SOMEONE ELSE, SO HERE ARE MY FASCINATING XENOBIOLOGICAL FINDINGS: OUR LANGUAGE ISN'T THE SAME, BUT IT'S PRETTY DAMN CLOSE, SO I CAN USUALLY GET TONE AND STUFF EVEN IF IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE BABBLING HOT NONSENSE AT ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A STANDARD IS, BUT IT'S MOST ASSUREDLY NOT ME. ALTERNIAN IS, AS YOU SO APTLY PUT IT, "BUGSPEAK" BECAUSE... DRUMROLL PLEASE, WE'RE BUGS. NOT EVERY SAPIENT ORGANIC RACE THAT CRAWLS OUT OF THE PRIMORDIAL OOZE IS GOING TO BE A MAMMAL OR A REPTILE

 

! Thought you were just a different model from that one-- [he tilts his head towards Dave--] and he's human.

Standards are-- legs and wheels or rotors, not legs and different legs? [Disgruntled noise.] Words. Mm-- [he transforms into his more-clearly-insectoid alt.] Not bug or bird or Ravage. Standard is car or ship or plane or... whatever. 'Real' people.

 

NOPE! MUCH AS I FAIL TO ACT LIKE A PROPER MEMBER OF MY SPECIES, I AM ACTUALLY A TROLL.

[he startles a little at the transformation and then immediately acts like he didn't]

I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER MODES UNLESS YOU WANT TO COUNT THE GRIM PERIOD SOME OF US REFER TO AS "WIGGLERHOOD" BUT THAT ONE DEFINITELY HAD EXTRA LEGS BEFORE I CONVERTED THEM INTO PUPATION ENERGY AND LOST THEM FOREVER TO THE ETHER. FUCK THAT SHIT WITH A SUPERHEATED METAL ROD, THOUGH. YOU'RE PEOPLE. YOU'RE REAL. ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE CAN SLURP DOWN A HOT FLOOD OF MY SHIT, ON THE HOUSE