shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Most of the time organics are a whole lot more fragile than any mech I know, though breeding can help out on that [He gestures at the wooden parts of his plating].
Do tell me more about that energon, how was it able to influence your shape to such an extend and fuse your CNA to whatever this Eart species uses for their genetic coding? I found avoiding the rejections that hardest part of incorporating organic parts into my frame, it required quite a bit of fiddling.

 

Very. [He preens a little, chelicerae spread wide in a grin of sorts.] He's ours.

[Fussbug is fuss.] Where are you? We will find. We-- travel, a lot, we have good scouts, you don't need to be alone.

 

Oh, well, I made quite a study of it at the time! You can still probably find a paper of mine on the subject of the changes I underwent floating around, though I did publish it during the war so it didn't get the attention it deserved. -this is said in a tone that suggests it was incredibly rude for anyone to be more interested in fighting a war than reading scientific papers- It's a deeply complex process- I wonder how much of it is similar to what you've done there? How did you do that? -she crouches down and turns her head so she's looking sideways out of the spino jaws, to get as close a look as she can at Updraft's modifications-

 

[It's quite the stunning offer] I can send you the coordinates of the planet if you wish? But I cannot guarantee that the local sentient organics will react well to it. They mostly ignore me but anymore aliens might upset them. I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me.

I would be happy to find that paper, it sounds very fascinating!
My own modications mostly focused on modifying the plants I used. Or animals [He points out a particularly intricate looking mosaic of small metal plates along his helm] There are naturally produced by a certain type of snail on this planet, I just had to breed them to use the right ore as base material, which was relatively easy. They integrate easily enough and are small enough for small, flexible parts like the face.
These [He turns his arm over to show a large, heavy plate] Is from a planet. There are a number here that naturally accumulate metals and heavy metals, the issue was to make it deposit these in the proper structures for a stable plate and then suppress part of my own nanite function long enough for it to integrate. There seems to be a certain desensitizing effect, as currently the integration takes only about 80% of the time it did when I first achieved a usable sample of this material.

 

[dave is fucking delighted that apparently this is a thing, although people unfamiliar with him probably can't tell just from body language]

what kind of dinosaurs do you have your very own jurassic park can i come visit
its ok if they see my delicious fleshy body and eat me itll be worth it
do you stick to any particular eras or periods or is it just a free for all up in dino town

 

Oh, are you familiar with these organisms? I assume your species has access to fossils or other remains? [More info, yes good, someone hand this mech a paleontology book please]

 

You really must write that- I must know the exact methods- I have thus far only tried adding mechanical elements to my organic creatures, not the other way around, as I usually have sufficient metal to patch myself should it become necessary. The native fauna can be quite aggressive. This is a whole new angle to explore! -she's positively vibrating with glee-

-massive dino head is lowered to peer at Dave. He could probably very easily climb into the huge metal jaws and walk right up to her face without having to duck-
Hello there! You would be welcome to visit but I fear the weather would be very bad for a small organic such as you. I live primarily underground, as the surface is just one big blizzard. I am flattered by your interest however! I have dinosaurs from all time periods, though many of them are slightly improved- to better combat the weather, to live more happily with others, to secrete acid in their saliva- you know, sensible precautions.

 

I did write most of it down on datapads for better archiving and cross referencing purposes, I would love to let you access them. From what I understand, metal elements integrate somewhat better into organics than vice versa. Something to do with their immune system, I think? I did attempt it some point because I was hoping it would make it easier to figure out my side of the problem.

 

Would be them getting hurt, if anyone. [Shrug.] Can take coordinates, anyway. Not like we have anywhere specific to be going.

 

...■︎□︎︎ ✋︎ ♎︎♓︎♎︎■︎︎⧫︎︎ ♌︎♏︎♍︎♋︎◆︎⬧︎♏︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♋︎⬧︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎■︎♑︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ◻︎♏︎⧫︎⧫︎⍓︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ♒︎◆︎❒︎⧫︎. ❄︎♒︎♋︎⧫︎ ♎︎□︎♏︎⬧︎■︎︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎♋︎■︎ ✋︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎︎⧫︎ ❒︎♏︎♑︎❒︎♏︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♎︎♏︎♍︎♓︎⬧︎♓︎□︎■︎⬧︎ ✋︎ ❍︎♋︎♎︎♏︎.

Spoiler: translate

...no, I didn't, because I was young and petty and hurt. That doesn't mean I can't regret the decisions I made.

 

I would prefer if nobody got hurt, but thank you anyways [he transmits the coordinates if Scourge wants to use them]

 

[He chirps absently, logging the coordinates.] Can try. Will defend if they attack, but... no eating the planet, at least.

 

Fascinating- please, I would adore to read your datapads!
-she pulls a couple of her own from thin air apparently without even thinking about it; things go Retort's way anyway, it's just more literal here-
Here are the condensed notes of my own basic research on reconstituting organics from their fossil remains!

 

...eating the planet? That does sound worrisome. [The local sentients might not harbour any affection for him, but Updraft would much prefer if all the fauna and flora he's come to explore and appreciate didn't die because of something he did]

 

︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎♏︎❒︎ ♍︎♋︎❍︎♏︎ ♌︎♋︎♍︎&︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♋︎■︎⍓︎⬥︎♋︎⍓︎. ☹︎♓︎&︎♏︎ ✋︎ ❄︎⚐︎☹︎︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♒︎♏︎ ⬥︎□︎◆︎●︎♎︎✏︎

Spoiler

Master came back for me anyway. Like I TOLD you he would!

 

Ohhh, thank you! [in exchange he offers her some of his own datapads, the basics on the integration of organic matter into a metal frame] I have heard about such attempts on Cybertron but I don't think anyone has attempted it on organics before! this is exciting! [His wings hike up high and eager]

 

[okay, now people can tell dave is excited. he's practically vibrating in place as he summons an array of fossils in front of him; mostly they're shells of various sorts, although he does have a few claws and teeth and plants. and coprolites, because this is dave. some notable specimens are one fossilized egg, and what appears to be a mostly-intact archaeopteryx]

yeah
we used to have better access to em but my planet got destroyed and the one were on now is recovered from a fish apocalypse so theres not like a lotttttt of research currently to fall back on which fucking sucks but these are some ive got around
you can get your hands on some cool ass shit when youre the reason for the entire population existing
anyway they were basically what birds and lizards evolved from and theyre cool as fuck
we think they got wiped out by a meteor and the ash and shit it kicked up into the sky
leaving mammal fucks like me to inherit the earth

ive flown through the void of space in nothing but jammies and a douche cape i can handle a blizzard
open the dinosaur park
stop having it be closed
that sounds pretty fucking awesome and way better than jurassic park which is just a travesty of bad planning and arrogance
they got feathers?

 

I find my dinosaurs frequently have a much better attitude than most of the mechs I once worked with. -she snorts. if you look closely, there is still a red Autobot badge on her flank, though it's scratched and battered and uncared for- I far prefer their company! But you seem like the kind of mech I could work with!

-she laughs, highly amused- You are an unusual organic! If you can find your way to my planet you are welcome to visit!
-she produces another datapad and passes it to him; it shrinks as she hands it over- This has the coordinates, weather patterns, and what I was last told about the effects of the atmosphere on ships. And of course many of them have feathers! Some have taken quite well to fur, as well.

 

[Shrug.] Swarms need food. Lots of food. Overflow says programming thing maybe, but. Doesn't matter why, I think. It's why we move so much, anyway. Not many places produce enough metal or energon to keep a hive fed. But we can just come get you without stripping the planet, probably.

 

✡︎♏︎⬧︎. ︎♏︎ ⬥︎♏︎❒︎♏︎ ⬥︎❒︎□︎■︎♑︎.

Spoiler: translate

Yes. We were wrong.