shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

i am tho
i mean i can jump around but im also balls deep in this bitch
making little watch babies cause i dont wear fuckin protection
were irrevocably bound by HOLY MATRIMONY cause times catholic and dont believe in divorce
shit we got us the ultimate condunrum here we got a chick whos outside of time and a guy with a fuckin clock in his head
or a clock for a head maybe
who knows

 

[She studies the new mech, optics flitting over the organic mods (fascinating if strange), his hand in reffy's (trustworthy), the wings (pretty), how tall he seemed to be (good frame size, reliable, sturdy). She inclines her head in greeting.]
That won't be necessary, I'm quite alright.
Besides, our own Nurse Sawbones would probably get jealous if I ditched her for the next medic to make pretty optics at me.
Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Ambassador-Captain Nichrome of Iacon, leader of the Decepticon Diplomatic Delegation aboard the TEAM. And you are?

 

Awright. -noofs-

Capt´n no!

I´d be sparkbroken. -to Updraft- No worries, s´just her paint. I can take care a my Capt´n.

 

Oh, of course, I didn't mean to intrude. [He pauses for a moment] That would be the ship Refractor is on too if I recall correctly? [He's still squishing down on the urge to go over there and pick the other up. Firstly it would be rude and second Nichrome is a captain, that's probably insubordination anyways. It'd certainly be undignified and can his coding please shut up. Please.]
I'm Updraft, formerly of Polyhex, now of a small organic planet the official name of which I do not now. [He taps his own badge with his free hand, which requires a bit of twisting around, but Refractor's hand in his is such a comfort that he refuses to let go]

 

[Onyx summons a hologram of one rather than the creature itself; it's certainly some sort of mechanoid feline, built on slim lines but with obvious power in its shoulders and haunches.] They were native to Cybertron, once-- rather widespread, actually. I can't say if the species survived your war, and they never established properly on Eukaris outside those with similar alt-forms. Both their claws and fangs-- [the holocat shifts to a defensive pose, fangs bared in a silent snarl and one foreleg frozen mid-swipe--] had attached acid reservoirs. The compounds they produced were not immediately fatal unless they hit a major fuel line, but would corrode plating and tubing alike and crystallize energon in a mech's veins. Wonderful bit of work, they were, not that that I can take credit for them.

I'm not strictly outside it, either, I'm just... capable of moving, which is more than most of my siblings can say.

 

Oh I didn't mean to imply otherwise, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that you were a medical professional, too.

 

[Quick affectionate pet]
You never let me have any fun, Nurse.

A pleasure to meet you, Updraft. [She notes the badge with a small nod] Do you require extraction or have you already arranged otherwise?
[She... doesn't note the odd looks, though she exchanges a couple comms with Reffy who explains a little bit, not that it makes much sense. She suspects she knows what the looks are for, but... what.]

 

[........ heart eyes motherfucker]
They look beautiful. I... I must admit I have very little knowledge of which mechanimals have been surviving on Cybertron. Never ventured far outside the cities myself.

 

oh well so can i
how dyou mean move
do you mean like time travel cause thats what i do
and id say im more bound to time and how it moves than other people maybe by a lot

 

There was a talk with @Sunscourge but it sounded like his hive would have to go out of its way to pick me up. [He doesn't mentioned the danger to the wildlife that he'd like to avoid] I would hate to inconvenience people by picking me up, I don't know which of you would be closer to my location?
[He notes Nichrome noting and urgh, best to explain it, yes? Yes. Because he can already tell that his coding isn't going to calm down anytime soon] I apologize, my coding is in a bit of a titz. You are the first minibot I have seen since the- [is wings twitch down before he forces them up into a neutral position again] since my bondmates offlined.

 

....saaay Capt´n. .-nuzzles, rubs against.-

Think we can make me somethin´like what they got?

Naw, ye weren´t.

I let you have plenty a fun! -leer-

 

[She... nods. Alright how to... deal with this.]
I am not a natural-forged cassette as I am sure you can tell. And while I am sure it would relief several among my crew were I to get another altmode change... I would likely make a terrible bondmate.

 

[Once she recovers of her inappropriate snickering she looks at the holograms of the toxicougar again]
To answer your question: Yes. Yes I think we can. I'd be delighted in fact.
[Science project, Science project, frag yeah)

 

[He curiously lifts a brow but doesn't inquire why that altmode might be so unsettling, Updraft has a good enough grip on his manners not to blurt out the question]
Of course, I wasn't- I didn't meant for it to come across like I wanted to ask you of that, that'd be both presumptuous and quite hasty. I just meant to provide some explanation if I end up doing something stupid like attempt to pick you up. There simply seems to be a lot of backed-up carrier-ness swirling around my processors right now. [It's quite embarrassing to admit, but not as bad as it would be if he was to grab Nichrome and carry them out of perceived danger.]

 

They are, aren't they? It's been so long...

I do indeed! I can follow a single spark-- ah, soul's-- path to the future and past, though my brother is more adept at sidestepping into other universes.

 

[She snorts, amused] Never heard someone actually provide an explanation for that yet. I'm quite used to being bodily carried out of reach of things I usually provoked entirely on my own. It's not the worst someone has ever done to me ten kliks after introductions. Your concern over my reaction is appreciated, however.
[She... leans against Reffy's side for now, not out of sight from Updraft but not easily capable of being grabbed anymore. And besides cuddling with Reffy is good even without an excuse. And this way she can draw up a first draft for the blueprints of her and Sawbones' terrifying abomination engineering project]

I'm sure they survived somewhere, somehow. A Mechanimal as majestic as this one isn't easily cowed by a simple war.
[She says this with complete confidence. Somewhere Toxicougars carry on their reign of terror and she wishes them all the best.]

 

-PURR- This´ll be fun! Might start needin´subspace in my claws.

I´d love ta meet one.

Gotta agree. Mechanicats don´t die easy.

 

[He does appreciate that, really. Refractor makes an excellent buffer, sandwiched between them like that. Hard to grab anyone around that much pointy kibble.]
Is that so? [He snorts] I suppose command structures on a diplomatic vessel are more relaxed. [He imagine the reaction of his old captain if someone had attempted to pick him up. Admittedly, picking him up would require a small crane even if he'd had stayed still for it, which he absolutely wouldn't have unless already unconscious and the thought is tinged with nostalgia but still enough to make him snicker a tiny little bit under his breath.]
I will remember that, if necessary.

 

I'm sure we can manage that somehow. How hard can Mass displacement technology be to reverse engineer, am I right?
[... Nichrome no, stop trying to violate the laws of the universe]

 

I was only recently promoted, to be entirely fair. I spent most of the war developing planet-levelling weapons of mass destruction alongside personal weaponry for the Devepticon troops. Thus I had a rather... atypical experience, compared to others. We hardly extended much thought to the technical hierarchy aside from Chase-Off being our commanding officer.
[She shrugs.]