anhedonia is just water why bother getting a fancy drink, it all tastes the same these days, might as well save your money
Anxiety isn't alcohol, it's absurdly strong, sweetened cold-brew coffee with milk. And a lot of it, because the sugar and milk makes it easier to drink more.
trauma is that awful tasting drink where the taste stays in your mouth for days regardless of what else you try and drink
Executive dysfunction is the bartender staring blankly at the dirty glasses in the sink for five minutes and then leaving to play Minecraft.
wait no, this one's called medication roulette It's served in a margarita glass. The rim is coated with either salt or sugar, but you don't know which until you taste it, and occasionally it turns out to actually be Borax.
Depression is heavy and syrupy and sickly sweet, covering up something incredibly disgustingly bitter. ETA: But not well.
If those are depression and executive dysfunction, then what's that bottle of apple juice you left out of the fridge for two months?
Social anxiety is getting your friend to order you something. But it's too loud in the bar, so they mishear you and bring back a totally different drink. But it's fine, this is okay, you're not going to complain.
...I feel like I suddenly understand some things about the shit I do because I think it's funny. thenks drinks thread for my life