Down at the sa-loon

It's not even your favorite drink, you swear, you've just been really drawn to it lately...

 

*chokes on a sip of it* I hate that drink, it's the worst, I'll never have it again, *dumps the glass on the floor*
(Five minutes later:) I'll have another one, please!

 

Self-harm is four parts everclear to one part pure lemon juice.

 

in a glass with a jagged broken edge

too much? don't want to overshoot the joke and make it upsetting

 

If it helps, I found it funny.

 

You can make any of the other drinks with added self harm by asking for one of the broken glasses

Or breaking it yourself.

 

I linked my friend Shan to this thread and they had this to say:

 

Anxiety is just a huge fuckin' glass of liquid Ex-Lax.

 

each name stands for multiple drinks. you can come order the same things for 10 days and it could be different every time. or it could be absolutely all the fucking same.

 

Comorbidity challenge mode: drinking from like eight different straws in eight different drinks at once

Except it's a challenge you can't opt out of. This is your life now. Enjoy your rum-and-tini-beer-mosa-sangria-vodka-long island on the rocks

 

Schizotypal looks floaty, with all the drinks and colors kinda mixing but also not mixing, tastes like cotton candy but somehow also something SUPER bitter, and contains hallucinogens.

 

....and DID is just every single liquid available in the bar in one giant glass.

 

I was thinking something that sounds like it's straight out of those "Self care is..." Tumblr posts.

 

but what would that be?

 

Self care is icecream floating in hot chococlate. because feel good foods.

 

If you order an ADHD there's pretty good odds that you won't actually get it, because it got forgotten by the bartender, the server, or by you yourself when they brought you the drink. "Anyone order an adhd?" "....no? I don't think so."

5 minutes later
"Did my drink ever arrive?"

Alternate take: an adhd is a half mixed glass of one drink and one or more other separate glasses in varying stages of completion. Sometimes it's a pitcher of something completely different because the bartender started hyperfocusing on making a really kickass caesar and forgot what the order originally was

 

depression is one of those drinks that sneaks up on you

like you think there's barely any alcohol so you keep drinking it and it isn't until you're throwing up in the corner that you realize you're probably gonna die of alcohol poisoning

but you don't really care at that point

 

@tweedle dumbass that would be Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

 

AvPD is the drink you make at home alone with whatever's in the house, because you don't want to drag the atmosphere down by making people deal with you and your awkwardness at the bar.

 

I think Alix is referring to those posts that are like "self-care is drinking from a puddle in the taco bell parking lot" or other such silly things. @palindromordnilap, lemme know if I'm totally off-base!