[nsfw] Iyaan, Karkat-kun: Let's Homestuck some Hentai

EXCITED SQEALING

 

What, again? That girl collects lovers like Terezi collects chalk.



Aww, Equius...don't be sad! :((



I know you're just purrtending to be strong! You're lonely, aren't mew!



It's okay, Equius. The queen of shipping will find someone fur you to love! The magic statue will tell me ALL!



Whoops, trouble in purridise. Jane broke up with Jade. I'll have to update my shipping grid!

But let's see if Equius likes ANYONE in this school...



Dirk? Well, I mean...that's not super surprising. He seems your type, but I'm not sure I apurrove of you getting involved with a boy who spends roughly 90 purrcent of his time humping Hal!

Still...if it would make Equius happier...let's go find him!



PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON, OH MY GOD

Um, anyway. Dirk. I wanna talk to you about Equius!





Hal, can you let your creator/boyfriend have a conversation without you? FOR ONCE?



We weren't talking about anything! Come here, Dirk, let's go somewhere else.



It doesn't mean a damn thing, Dirk, not a DAMN THING. Now come HERE.



I think it would do you some good to spend some time with someone who isn't a slightly more sociopathic, morally sketchy version of you! Someone you have things in common with, but without being your clone! Like...Equius, maybe?



:33 !!



HOLY WHISKERS, HAL. You're gonna give me a heart attack!



*sigh* And Hal sings his synthetic claws right back in. Oh, Equius, I don't think it's gonna happen!

Maybe if we spread a good rumor about Equius! Dirk, Equius is really smart and strong!



:33 !!!!!

Good! Come on, let's go work out!



:(( Oh. Yeah, I see Hal's breathing down our backs again. Dirk, your robot boyfriend is super controlling and I should know about controlling!

Equius, I don't think you and Dirk are meant to be. He's furry hard to get alone now that Hal's here! Are you sure you like him?



:||

 

Wow, is it just because Dirk and AR are the only ones we've seen with perfect compatibility, or are they just INSANELY horny?? It just keeps on going!

 

Geez, Hal, I get that you're not used to having a body and sensations yet, but can't you like... fuck Dirk into the mattres at home? Or do your sexy science stuff with other people, too, to get a larger sample size?

 

I see no reason to assume they're not doing this at home too. I think they're sampling locations right now.

 

....
point taken.

 

OH, SHIT, I furgot about the assessment!

Wait. New student?



Um.



A-Am I the only one seeing the similarity here? Guys?

But then it was time for the assessment, which takes all day.



Fine, I have more important prey to hunt right now! The new student looks like an unholy melding of me and my boyfurriend!



Well I'm glad one of us is, beclaws to be honest, I'm kind of furreaking out here a bit, Davepeta!

That IS a cute outfit you have on. Sorry you couldn't get pants.



That sounds like the Dave part of you.

Suddenly:



Alright, that is IT. Hal and Dirk are humping yet again and Terezi is scissoring Roxy and I've had just about enough!

I don't even LIKE sax music!



Me too, Davepeta. >:(( But...we should calm down. Sex is a natural byproduct of shipping, after all!



Well, one half of you is annoyed by all the fluids staining everything thanks to Hal and Dirk, and the other is suspiciously obsessed with Dirk and his sexual exploits.



And THAT'S the new addition to Jane's harem. Wow, Jane, you move FAST.



Dirk still has zero interest in Equius. :((

We've been so busy thinking about other people's lovelives that we haven't checked to see how people feel about us.



A lot of people like Nepeta, but not too many LIKE like her. Even Dave seems to be pretty underwhelmed, which isn't surprising considering he hasn't once approached her today or said a dang thing.



Underappreciated, Dave! And to be honest, seeing Davepeta has really soured me on this relationship. I like you, but...I think...

I think we should break up.



:((

Jade, seeing our distress, invites us to dinner.



Nepeta and Dave just sat in silence, awkwardly chewing.

Fun.



As much as you kind of make me uncomfurtable, Davepeta, you are pretty fun. Wanna hang out?



Or not.

 

I'm willing to bet they're doing it all over town.

omg please make a thread. please.

 

HELL YEAH DAVEPETA! They're adooorable, holy shit.

It's the most logical thing to do after all, to find the prime sex location, and as we know both Dirk and Hal are all about logic.

 

Okay, Davepeta, how about something to eat? I know at least one part of you is always ready for a meal!





h33 h33 h33, you'll have to move faster than that to snatch my prey from my claws! >:33

Let's go to the arcade while we're here!



Davepeta insisted on throwing theirs up into the air to "make it rain" and then giggled about entry-level irony while small children scrambled for their tokens. Your loss, Davepeta!



I'm just having fun with my part clone, Jane, calm down.



Apparently! I feel both proud and also a little jealous. They're part ME, after all, so why are they getting all the ladies and dudes?

The day is almost over, but let's squeeze in one more bit of fun. HEY GUYS!



Feferi, Jake and Terezi decide to come with me.









And then Jake proceeded to belt out a very trendy sounding Japanese pop song. :OO Way to go!

The day ends, and while Nepeta may be short a boyfriend, she has no shortage of friends, and that's fine too.

 

Nepeta's day was so cute, after the yandere mess we've been having.

 

Davepeta is ADORABLE.

 

And it was a bit short because assessment, but tomorrow is a Sunday. Tomorrow...is DATE DAY.

 

I'm glad you guys like Davepeta! They were fun to make. Only wish I had pants and sunglasses!

Also, now that Davepeta's transferred in, we can reset the poll. @jacktrash, would you mind doing it again when you have time/spoons? :D

 

rue, thats a dangerous choice of words in a thread like this ::P

 

get your mind out of the gutter, this is a wholesome, family friendly porn game thread!

 

Also, later tonight I'll have various stats and info and options and things.