Every-other-Friday insomnia time! I don't get anxiety attacks from doing therapy any more but I still get the buzzy adrenaline feeling that doesn't go away until the small hours of the morning. I can't remember the last time I slept on a therapy night. :/
I have to be up in like. 4 hours. why this. why does my mum insist on buying herbal-type sleeping shit when I've told her (repeatedly!) that it does literally nothing for me except give me a headache but nooo momma knows best god I'm so angry I'm gonna cry
yes hi hello i am awake and don't want to be this in direct contrast to the times when i am asleep and don't want to be ... which are pretty rare, actually, maybe even rarer than the times i am asleep and dreaming about trying to go to sleep. .... errthing sucks.
I took ambien early because I need to adjust my schedule so I wake up before noon more fool me though ambien+early means NO SLEEP FOR YOOOOOU by which i mean me now, you might ask, why would someone who regularly sleeps past 1 PM be taking a sleeping aid? Wouldn't that make things WORSE? and if you did that I would laugh and then cry and then cry some more i have nothing to do for the next loopy two hours except contemplate taking another pill after this one wears off and decide against it because fuck that oh, or i will konk out immediately after posting this POS ramble, that's also an option and one that's happened before ehr mah gerhd sleep. fucked up sleep. fuck it. blerrrrgh.
-vacant zombie stare- is now my go-to expression. I'm having a hard time seeing the monitor I'm so tired.
So! Didn't sleep last night, despite sleeping aid. Watched an irritating Let'sPlay instead. Not sure why I chose irritation and not-sleeping over, for example, non-irritation and not sleeping. I think after a while it was a sunk-costs thing. Fell asleep after sunrise, had anxiety dreams about the irritating Let'sPlay all morning. So, I was planning against doing the same thing tonight. Had sleeping aid out, plans to be careful not to take it too early so it wouldn't conflict with "Okay, but have you considered NOT sleeping? Oh hey let's make bacon and eat peanut butter straight out of the jar!" So. Then I couldn't fall asleep. And I coudln't fall asleep some more. And then I couldn't fall asleep even more than that. I was getting kinda panicky. Shut computer down and got back on again several times. I was like, oh no. Oh no. I've ruined it. I didn't sleep after taking the pill last night and I've made it so I will never sleep again after taking the pill. Is the pill stuck in my throat maybe? It kinda feels like there's a pill stuck in my throat. Drink some water? Take a hot bath. Maybe that will work? aaaaugh. Went back downstairs. Glanced at dresser. Pill's still there. .... I took the pill. ... and now i'm back on the internet. oops. uh i'ma go and see if the pill works this time later
No sleep for me tonight. I've got to be up in an hour. There's no point in trying to nap at this point as I'll just be more tired from waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle...
Sleep schedule fucked. Scheduled five hour shift. Turned into: 10hr shift Training 3 newbies Playing translator for an extremely patient deaf guy Doing damage control for 6 assholes hassling my trainees in the space of an hour A trainee losing paperwork that could get my boss and ME arrested And a bunch of other shit. I should sleep like a baby. But here I am. And I got preemptively called in for an 830a shift because the people I covered for today are probably going to continue to flake out.
I didn't sleep last night but tonight I found a sekret case of green-apple cider and usually I can only find full cases of 'crisp apple' and I have 5/6 and guess who's going to sleep tonight? Buuut's also gonna have to wait unother three hours until mopst of it's worn off because meds. I'm at PTFO point but meds+drink make me super sad and also eat my liver and enough of it's nasty that it doesn't need help so. let's hope consciousness lasts another few hrs but if not then at least SLEEP. BLESSED DREAMLESS SLEEP. amnd O can take meds when I wake up and SLEEP AGAIN YES GOOD. I may not be making intelligent decisions but at least they resut in unconsciosness?
Can't sleep. Instead I have decided to mentally list all the things in my life I have given up on. It is a very long list. Up-side, it doesn't contain insomnia or self-pity. And yes, I would like some cheese with that whine, thank you!
i am v sleepy and could totally waft off to dreamland except OW OW OW literal pain in the ass butt muscles are large muscles and when they cramp up they do not fuck around, this is goddamn excruciating and i wish it would move up to my back muscles again that was not nearly so bad ow ow ow i took 6 ibuprofen and was going to heating pad but as soon as i sat in the recliner my cat jumped on my lap so welp at least he's warm
yeah, i usually take 4 for this but every so often i gotta bump it. it's cool, my doctor is aware of this and as long as i'm not doing it daily it's not a big deal. the alternative is getting me a prescription for something intense that'll get me high. :/
Alright :) Just checking, since a disturbing number of people don't know much about the medication they're taking. Sorry to hear that you are having this much pain :(
i appreciate your concern. :) once the ibuprofen kicked in, i was able to sleep. i slept for like 12 hours and feel much better now. i would not advise most other people to take that many! but i'm 250 lbs, and body mass does matter for dosage. i am not a small man. :P
It's four in the morning and I have work tomorrow and I'm just. Not tired. At all. I'm kinda bored and tired of being awake and would like tomorrow to happen, but no actual sleepiness is occurring. At this rate tomorrow's gonna happen the hard way. And meanwhile I know this has to be related to running out of meds and I keep arguing with myself about whether running out of meds was my fault this time. Uuuuuuuuugggh.
