shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

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Im So Offended At What Im Seeing Ill Eat My Own Ganderbulbs

 

?????????????????

I DIDN'T REALIZE AUTO-CANNIBALISM WAS THE HOT NEW WAY TO GREET PEOPLE.

 

-a Confused cat peers out of a vent!-

 

Ew You Even Sound Like Him. Suffs Sake. Thats So Wrong.

 

OK, ACTUALLY FUCK YOU. I *CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO BELIEVE* THAT I'M BEING COMPARED TO ANOTHER ME AND DEEMED INADEQUATE! UNLESS WE'RE PLAYING THE PRONOUN GAME AND YOU *DON'T* ACTUALLY MEAN THE COLOSSAL EMBARRASSMENT HAVING A FLOOR TANTRUM. OOH, WHAT AN INSPIRATION, I'M IN AWE.

 

[Laeto, apparently bored of talking, floats up via heel-thrusters to offer rust sticks to ventcat. Everyone likes candy, right?]

 

First Of All How Dare You, Second Of All Do You Have A Preferance For Which Sharp Object I Jam Down Your Throat? Obviously Youre Inadequate Compared To His Holiness, Douchefins Mc Smuggerson

 

-Ventcat is very confused- Thank you? -carefully takes the ruststick between both paws- You´re very small, even for a mini.

 

[Laeto:] Welcome! [Sunny smile!] I am small!! Not a mini, though, we think? 'Cos Sire's big? I'm not done growing yet! 'Swhy I don't have wings!! Can I sit in the vent too?

 

[he makes a little offended noise and flares his fins. ooh, big scary subadult, much afraid]

OH, I'M SAURY, FOR A SECOND IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TOUCH ME IN A STRIFE. THAT'S CUTE.

I THINK (SINK? NO. THAT'S LOW EVEN FOR ME) YOU COULD *TRY,* BUT I'M REELY NOT INTERESTED IN CONVERTING TO YOUR STUPID RELIGION OR HEARING ABOUT HOW HE SHITS RAINBOWS OR WHATEVER. I ~DON'T CARE,~ BECAUSE I'M GREAT AND IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THAT, THAT'S *YOUR* PROBLEM

 

-unsure cat noises.- Why do you want in the vent?

 

[She mockingly cups a hand behind her ear]
Was That A Point You Were Trying To Make I Cant Hear You Over How Last Sweep Fish Puns Are, Nevermind How Tired And Embarrassing Yours Are.
As For Him, I Should Have Known Better Than Expecting A Tyrian To Either Know Shit Or Have Any Regard For Movements To Get Rid Of The Hemospectrum-Based Systems Of Oppression, But Clearly Oinkbeasts Have Not Yet Miraculously Become Capable Of Unassisted Flight.

 

'Cos hovering makes me tired and it's closer'n the floor? [Big yellow turbopuppy eyes: go.]

 

[This is too cute. Updraft is going 'awwwww' audibly somewhere off to the side. Look at those smols. Look at them.]

 

-looks a bit hunted, he look around for somwhere else and look! a handy ledge!- Look, you can sit there?

 

EXCUSE ME FOR NOT MAGICALLY ~ASSUMING~ THE CULT SOLLUX INHERITED CARRIED OVER TO YOUR FREAKY FRIDAY UNIVERSE. I'LL BE SURE TO JUMP TO LOTS MORE CONCLUSIONS! NOT SURE THAT I CAN KEEP UP WITH YOUR MAD HOPS, THOUGH, BECAUSE *WOW.*

OF COURSE I WANT REFORM! *I* DIDN'T MAKE THE SYSTEM, I THINK IT'S FUCKING STUPID. I HAVE FRIENDS ALL OVER THE SPECTRUM AND THEY'RE ALL GREAT, WHY WOULDN'T I WANT TO HELP PROVE THEY'RE JUST AS GOOD AS ME?

 

[Aralia waves excitedly from over by a bunch of non-transforming robots; look, people almost as small as him!!!]

! [Laeto perches on the handy ledge, slumping almost before he gets settled.] Thanks!

 

-ventcat offers another ruststick-

 

!!!! Thank you!!! [Laeto carefully takes the ruststick and starts nibbling. Candy! :D]

 

[He waves back a little more sedate but still clearly excited before navigating past all the squishy people to come sit by them. These two look both small and young. Not exactly sparklings anymore, but not that far past it, either?] Hello!