shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Nuh-uh. Scanner fits up there and he's bigger'n caer! [It is hard to be disgruntled under pettins, but Aralia manages something approaching a pout.]

 

Vents are awesome though. (/^▽^)/

 

!!!! [Aralia scrambles upright, both salt and pettins forgotten.] Primus!!! Primus Primus Primus! The dragon guy got stuck here can you make a hole for him to get home when he wants and go protect trees? Please please please with rust and sodium foam on top?? [He said "please," that means it's polite. Right?]

 

-blinkblinkblink-
Huh I dunno he comes from a different universe than us! It might not respond to me properly! But I can totally try if he likes!
（⌒▽⌒ゞ

 

[Appeased, Aralia nods and leans back against Updraft.]

 

[Pouts do not work so well on Updraft he's gotten immune to them] i know sweetspark but Scanner also doesn't have Wings. [And he's weirdly flexible]

[He is not digifiying that with a reaction. After the whole thing with letting there be terrible caste system enforced by the primes, plus the war, without so much as a single peep of objection, Primus is solidly on Updraft's shitlist. The award for the most unresponsible creator deity goes To....]

 

-Primus pulls faces behind his back, because irresponsible creator deity is also immature creator deity and he's kind of sick of people writing him off-

 

[That does explain so much about cybertronians though. Updraft settles back on pettins for Aralia, which is a lot more soothing for his processor than yelling at god. There will be no arguing in front of the sparklings]

 

(¬_¬”)-cԅ(‾⌣‾ԅ)

 

Hack Your Fins off And I Might Believe You

Oh Excuse Me, I Just Took Aggressively Asking "Whats Wrong With The ~Pennarine Way~" To Mean You Had Some Sort Of Interest In Him Conforming To Your Culture Specifically. Im Willing To Drop The "Xenophobic", Cheetostick.

Good For You Fucknugget, I Dont Care, Have Fun With Your Dumb Wiggler Name For Wigglers. Over Here In the Adult Corner Where We Have Adult Names Is Much Nicer.

[She narrows her eyes]
So Youre Literally Static But Older And Somehow Insufferably Smug. Good Fucking Grief.
A Matesprit Is Someone You Pity Concupisciently.

 

WOW, WHAT A SOLUTION! YES, THAT WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING. WHY DON'T I CHOP OFF MY BULGE TOO, DELIVER IT ON A GLEAMING SILVER PLATTER TO MAKE "SERVING THE PEOPLE" THAT MUCH MORE LITERAL? 3:) YOU ARE JUST FULL OF GREAT IDEAS, I'M TAKING NOTES!

 

[siiiiiiighs, turns around] Alright, what do you want? [It's not like sparkling sitting and organic breeding hasn't blessed him with a lot of patience. He can do this. He cna do this without yelling at Primus.]

 

I'm waiting for you to get all the yelling done. I know you want to. ε-(´・｀) ﾌ

 

I am not going to yell at you in front of the sparklings. [pets Aralia's back]

 

-since when has he had wings to droop? since about ten seconds ago, actually, though nobody watching would be able to ennumerate this- Oh. What if I made it so they couldn't hear?

 

[Protectively cradles Aralia against his chest] No. You're not doing anything to the little ones. If you absolutely insist on us talking, I am going to put Aralia down and you can magic up a blackout room or whatever. [But oh boy is he not going to let anyone do anything to the little ones]

 

-blinks- It wouldn't hurt them. But okay. I just want to know what it is this time that you want to shout at me for. Every time anyone shouts at me they have different facets of the same thing to be upset about and I want to know what yours is in case I can fix it this time.

 

Well then. [He sets Aralia down and comes over to Primus] So, you want to know why I am upset? [He generously assumes that whatever blackout magic thingy is currently in action]

 

-it is indeed-
Well I can guess most of it! But everyone has a different facet within the main reason. -Primus settles down in the traditional 'I am receiving a lecture about something I am genuinely guilty of' position; somewhere along the line he's become shorter than Ups, more babyfaced, considerably less threatening than he could be-

 

[Updraft does notice that somehow he's looking down on Primus now and that's totally not unsettling or anything. He rubs his temples]
I am upset, together with what I assume is most of the Cybertronian race, because you set things up, left it to the twelve, and then vanished into the aether or the Well or wherever, while for the next i don't even know many millions of years we were settled with an increasing strict caste system that ruined things for 95 percent of the population, resulting in a four million years lasting war with atrocities all around. And during all of this you never so much as put out a peep of objection to the proceedings, leaving the leading strata of society to proceed as they were feeling that they were upholding a divine order.

So it is a wee bit late to fix anything much about that, and it is a wee bit upsetting you watch you play around with sparklings when things went to the pits in a handbasket because you abandoned your creation, your children, after you made them. [He somehow manages to keep a calm tone during all of this, sounding mostly spark-deep tired about this whole thing. Because frankly he is tired of this, so damn tired.]