sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Because the Robins of Young Justice don't generally tell the rest of the team identifying information about themselves, the team has no actual way to celebrate their birthdays. thus: they conspire and pick an Entirely Arbitrary Day to throw a surprise party in the cave. it is extremely surprising to zeta in on some random afternoon and find HAPPY (PROBABLY NOT YOUR ACTUAL) BIRTHDAY banners and cake set up.

 

(in the first year, they have the element of surprise. thereafter it becomes a game. can dick find out when they're planning on having it beforehand. because if he DOES, then he will intentionally stall on going to the cave. just to see what pretense they invent to get him to come at all on time.)

 

(one year they get him by asking him to come over to plan M'gann's surprise birthday party (because he knows almost everyone else's, except for her and Kaldur))

(they do actually plan a surprise birthday party for M'gann. Someone watches the entirety of Hello Megan in a few days to find the one episode where they celebrated Megan's birthday (obscure show = no way to check what happened in any given episode other than just watching everything) and then the team painstakingly recreated the party, as best they could. they even faked a straightforward but time-consuming mission for her to give them time to prep.)

 

the onceler in this particular vid can reset, undertale style

he is determined

 

Steven has never been seriously ill in his life--he's barely even caught the sniffles. After losing his healing powers, though, he began to get minor illnesses on occasion (though still more minor than most people get--think having a stuffy nose and a bit of a cough when every other human in Beach City has a full-fledged miserable cold).

Basically, his healing powers work on himself as well as others...but he doesn't realize that.

(He once saw Connie get a papercut and reflexively stick her finger in her mouth to stop the bleeding a bit and was genuinely confused as to why she said it still stung afterwards.)

 

YOI Badfic Friend has informed me that Victor definitely follows the Instagram equivalent of Puppies to the Rescue, and I thought this thread needed to know that.

 

Nidorans do the happy-bunny flop. It is vital to train them out of flopping on people if you plan to evolve them to their final forms.

 

These videos exist in the SU 'verse. And if you think I'm about to say that Amethyst made them, you are...absolutely right, because she did, but they're all on Steven's channel. She uploaded the first one without asking and Steven only found out when the comments begging for more videos like that came flooding in.

She is now a minor celebrity on TubeTube, though no one is entirely sure why she's purple or how she's related to Steven (friends? siblings?). She's spawned many terrible memes and could not be happier.

 

I love the idea of Signless preaching love and tolerance in the style of a Southern fire-and-brimstone preacher complete with the in-crowd yelling hallelujahs.

 

Pokemon also needs a Hedgehog Song.

 

But which is the lucky one? Togedemaru does not seem like the least-buggerable Pokemon, and is rather long to have scan correctly.

 

Sandslash scans and has big spikes?

 

The Sandslash Can Never Be Buggered At All. I love it.

 

Though it might work better if the song is instead about why all Pokemon can't be buggered at all - seriously, who'd dare try? And a lot of Pokemon don't even seem to have anuses.

 

that's defeatist talk

 

"Togedemaru Nil Sodomy Est" scans.

 

Cross-posting from the Discworld thread because it belongs here.

 

Jordi has a shaving kit he takes everywhere with a straight razor and everything. He gets his suits dry-cleaned, but he's pretty good at spot cleaning them on his own-- he wears pretty much exclusively wool and, on occasion, linen so he justifies having white goddamn suits by being pretty good at getting the blood out.

On the whole, he's super meticulous about his appearance. The fussiest. Catch him outside of his suit never, he lives in this now.

 

Garnet took over as the leader of the Crystal Gems after Rose's death specifically at her request; while Pearl had been a CG longer than Garnet, Rose was not confident in her ability to actually lead the group, because she is Pearl and she is fucked up.

It helped that Garnet saw some futures where Pearl did step into Rose's shoes. None of them ended well.

 

@Acey that's a really cool headcanon but I'm not sure it's lighthearted haha (I think for some reason I just imagined it like... gosh how that would go over with Pearl, all the feelings there, and all the possible (awful) paths that could be taken with someone struggling with grief so openly in a leadership position... and amethyst's resentment should pearl become leader because. they have such a complicated relationship at the start of the story - 'none of us is the leader' 'garnet's the boss')