shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Aww, humans can still manage war crimes. There's uh, human guy in TFP who pilots a cybertronian corpse for a bit.

Anyways, I just hate it when they expect me to make gold out of shit. Give me some time to set up a scenario, great. Give me a bunch of dead guys and say 'have fun'? Fuck you.

 

Scrap, you're humans? I thought you were supposed to be bigger.

I'd rather deal with corpses than politics, anyway. Politics have way more moving parts to keep track of.

 

[Yup. Homo Sapiens Sapiens]

[Thanks, I think?]

 

I get that a lot. "Aren't you supposed to be taller?" Nah, this is a good size for me.

Politics is men in ugly suits pretending like they have control over anything. Or... bots in ugly paintjobs for you, probably.

 

Excuse me. -he´s not nearly as offended as he pretends to be-

 

"How much bigger were you expecting us to be?"

[Being 6'5", Ruko already towered over most people she knew and stared a bit as she tried to imagine herself being taller than that.]

[Well, aside from the extra inch her boots gave her.]

 

Not you specifically, unless you actually are runty for the species. Just... in general.

High command tends to functional aesthetics, but pits only know what politics look like on Cybertron now--

[Stream hesitates for a fraction of a second before standing up straight. Won't hurt to be polite.]

At least half my size.

 

What's worse? Idiots who decide to mix murder and politics. Didn't even get paid for that shit.

-Way Too Fucking Tall Ladies high-five. She's about as tall as Ruko, but partially because she's wearing murder heels. But flat on her feet she's a little over 6'. The player has been lazy and not decided on an actual number-

 

[I would like you all to know that I am not short. It´s not my fault I´m surrounded by beanpoles]

 

[Aw yiss, Tall Ladies high-five!]

"I think the only person I know who's taller than me is Rook. Honestly, I wish I was a bit shorter, like you. It'd make life easier: live duets, curling up on a couch for a nap, photoshoots, all that sort of stuff."

 

my title is master of torture
know the drill im best friends with the drill we got fucking married and our baby is a thumbscrew

[dave fans himself dramatically]
good god ladies
fucking work it holy shit
see i spend time around rose and karkat who is like if a hobbit failed anger management
and i start thinking im of a perfectly respectable height
i never thought average would be used to describe the length of dave striders anything but here we are

[for reference, he's about 5'10]

 

[Well, that got a laugh out of her.]

"I'm going to have to steal that line to refer to one of the assholes I work with, the hobbit thing. And maybe a variant on being 'average'."

 

im gonna need royalties for the use of my ill burns
thats like the happy birthday song im gonna charge out the fucking ass for my genius
you dont even want to know the fees for sbahj lines
its me the corporate devil i come bearing surcharges

 

"But it's not stealing if I pay for it. Besides, best I can do is an autograph."

 

you wouldnt download a pizza
nah but for reals i dont give a shit why the autograph though
you somebody famous where youre from? an altme was famous but im more into that hermit lyfe
i mean im sort of famous but not really for anything i like DID
had fame thrust upon me wink
ANYWAY oh my god
what dyou do

 

"I'm a performer. Mostly vocals, like most idols, but I can also play guitar."

[She paused for a moment.]

"And I suppose I can dance too, but I mean, that's also sort of the whole idol thing. I did a cover of that weird song that went viral a few years back, ME!ME!ME! or whatever, and people lost their collective shit, but I was famous way before that too."

"Well, kinda. Mostly got started because people think I'm affiliated with Crypton, and being recognized outside of that came after."

[Basically, her entire label is full of freaks and rejects.]

 

[I suppose. At least you wouldn´t have to jump so much.]

[So what did you do before that?]

 

yeah my whole cultural experience kind of cut off in 2009 so im not exactly familiar with what did or didnt go viral after that
youll have to illuminate me if you want more than a rudimentary understanding
plus i was never into japanese shit as much as john and dirk are
but i do music and shit too so thats cool
thats not what other me was famous for he made some baller movies but i think his musical talent was less appreciated which is a damn shame

 

[I don't remember any music at all.] -Chell looks rather sad about that. [Except for Her singing, that doesn´t count]

 

thats about the saddest thing i ever heard get said
or i guess not heard but you know
we can probably make some new memories if you want i mean aside from my own skills and what im sure are an impressive set of lungs on the chick over there i bet this place can play whatever we want
and my brain is an expansive fucking library
only the classics