shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Earth media is popular, due to the fact that the Decepticon invasion of Earth and subsequent fight between Decepticons and Autobots heralded the end of the war, with events on the warfront directly leading to the Decepticon defeat and thus allowing both sides to usher in peace.

 

I really, really have to catch up to that part of the war, I am still backreading around the two million year mark. [There is so much to cover it's a little despair inducing by sheer mass, never mind the atrocities on both sides]

 

It might be important to read the stuff that happened on and since Earth first, given the importance.

Anyway, Earth went through all that and the humans are still alive. Most of them, anyway. And independent, too. It's... admirable.

 

[Yeah, they made her. Well sort of. They uploaded a womans mind into her body]

[Huh. Maybe that´s what She meant about me not knowing what it´s like out there]

 

That is easier said than done if you want to keep track of the context of things [And spot the inconsistencies from both sides' reporting]
Organics are hardy little slaggers, I can confirm that much, especially once they got to the stage where they can actively and consciously terraform their planet.

 

Ah, so the organic 'software' so to speak, in an artificial frame [Exciting concept, really but potentially with side effects, considering the whole 'testing on fellow sentient' again] I would... doubt that? Mainly because it is such a common tactic to control people. The less informed they are, the easier they are to handle. [On the macro and the personal scale. Yay. ]

 

sorry
my interest in shit is what some would describe as esoteric or perhaps as
'jesus christ dave you fucking freakazoid crazypants why do you have what appears to be a fetal rodent floating around in a jar of mystery slime thats abhorrent'
i could probably describe the entire plot of good luck chuck to you if you wanted though
ive seen it like at least five hundred times
i can never erase the memory of dane cooks disgusting oatmeal face
it haunts me

 

Besides, the invasion is over. Earth's rebuilding.

 

[Makes sense. And yeah, sort of I don´t know how exactly they did it]

[What´s Good Luck Chuck?]

[Well it was a while ago. It might have still been going then.]

 

there are many ways one could describe good luck chuck
a movie of the romantic comedy variety
an abomination
an experience
the root of all evil
so on and so forth

 

Well, now you've got to show us.

 

alright but i warned you
im gonna take a nap while yall enjoy i cant watch this piece of shit again
there is no greater sleep aid than this goddamn farce of a plot
motherfucking magic dick curse

[he summons a tv that's big enough for anyone who wants to see the movie, along with a couch and several buckets of popcorn, and immediately assumes nap position on said couch]

 

[agreed]

 

-Chell makes comfortable happen in the form of a fancy ass office boos chair and investigates popcorn-

 

[dave doesn't actually sleep, but he does zone out and contemplate the yawning abyss as good luck chuck begins to play in all its cursed-dick glory]

 

This is weird.

 

wait until he proposes penguin style
i like to think im a pretty chill dude but after a while this movie starts to fill you with an unspeakable fury
ah yes lets boink a chubby chick and see if she gets married because theres NO WAY anyone could think a gal over 90lbs is attractive
fuck you dane cook i dont care that you didnt write it at any point you could have been like hmm maybe this is stooping a little low even for my rock bottom standards
but no
you piece of shit

 

Are humans supposed to be having sex when they're as underdeveloped as in the first scene, anyway?

 

fucking
no!!
there is serious shit going on with that chick for her to be that ridiculously aggro about it at that age

[he takes a minute to inhale deeply and visibly simmers down]
like i said
the root of all evil

 

And isn't it bad to pressure people into that sort of thing? I thought you said this was a comedy, not a... 'children' crime drama.