sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

SHE LOV THE CRONCH

 

She canonically ate a weird bug and didn't even care, so...

 

Jamie the mailman is of Arab descent, and actually speaks a bit of Arabic; however, his family has lived in the States for quite some time, and he was born and raised in Delmarva, so his Arabic is very, very rusty (and was likely never great to begin with).

He does, however, know a fair bit of Latin, because of course he does.

 

Swerve has also watched Steven Universe, and is unsure if it's Con propaganda or not

 

This seems like the place to mention that my brother just released a Headcanon Bot to dispense exactly these sorts of headcanons to all of tumblr.

So far it's already discovered both RPF and anime:

 

I have no clue who Swerve is but I still wanna know who their favorite characters are.

#shit like this GIVES ME LIFE

 

Well, in the comic he kind of idolises over the top cool characters, so I guess he'd start off liking Garnet the most, but I think he'd end up really identifying with Amethyst as her character develops further. They both have similar issues about self-hate and being liked, anyway.

 

All those berries that cause confusion in some Pokemon only do that when raw. Cooked berries are safe.

Relatedly, in humans, the 'confused' status condition is often more like 'hallucinating'.

Since the berries only have that effect on people who don't like that flavour, and pokemon don't generally try to hit Trainers with confusing-inducing attacks, this is usually not relevant.

When it is relevant, it's typically in the context of "i hear if you eat one of these you hallucinate that you've turned tree-green"

 

Permafusions are actually quite rare; even among the original Crystal Gems, there were only a handful (including Garnet, obviously). However, temporary fusion was very common among the Crystal Gems, and was most often performed between lovers.

Spoiler: spoilers for recent episodes

As both The Answer and Off Colors show, permafusion--or indeed, any fusion not done specifically for battle--is pretty much forbidden on Homeworld. As a result, most Gems who fuse for romantic reasons or even just for fun do so VERY privately.

 

Thinking about who Star Wars characters would main in Overwatch because Hydra is entirely basic.

Han'd go for Mccree. I think the cowboy aesthetics might kind of appeal, tho lord knows you'd never get Han to admit that, but the simplicity of his kit and how satisfying the gun is would be the main thing.
Leia feels like the sorta no nonsense type who'd favor heroes who can one tap squishies. Roadhog and Widow, I think. She's also the type to complain about team comp but never fill pick. You work around her picks, dammit.
Luke prolly fills most of the time, which is how Lucio ends up being his most played hero. He prolly likes Zen a lot, more than Lucio, prolly, but Lucio is a safer pick.
Rey I think would like Genji, for being highly mobile and versatile. Genji mains get a lot of crap, but if you know what you're doing with him, a good Genji can basically carry a match. And his mobility and resets make him really good at surviving a fight, and that's kinda Rey's business. Also for some reason I keep thinking she'd trollpick Torbjorn a lot.
Finn. Miiight go for D.va? Not sure about this one. Prolly a tank, definitely a hero with some sorta escape ability, probably one that can protect allies. Might fill pick a lot as well.
Reaper seems like the easy choice for Kylo, but I feel like he'd more likely be a hyperaggressive Reinhardt. He might like Reaper more after the life drain and Wraith Form buffs, cause that close quarters brawling stuff feels like exactly his entire deal, but given how reckless he is in canon I feel like he'd lean on a massive health pool. Actually, he'd definitely go full Reaper after those buffs, he'd hate having to depend on a healer for sustain as Rein.

 

Today in "Weirdest things to somehow end up being a major recurring theme in a fic I'm writing": philosophy of architecture and urban planning.

 

so apparently phantump are like...cat-sized

new headcanon that it is possible for them to loaf position.
like, headcanon that a surprising number of pokemon can loaf position. phantump are just one of the more surprising pokemon to find in the loaf position, mostly because even a relaxed and sleepy phantump will not typically do that.

quite a lot of other pokemon can almost loaf-position but their tail isn't flexible enough. but sometimes you might see like...a salamence. attempting to dragonloaf.

 

That's not Pyukyumuku's mouth.

 

Ok but now I wanna see pokeloafs, and I don´t even go there.

 

i just need loafs in decreasing levels of expectedness
eeveeloaf: this is normal
phantump loaf: uhhhhhhh
mewtwo loaf: worrying

 

snorlax loaf tho

 

Loafiest loaf

 

It loafs loafingly.

 

Loafurito.

Surskit loaf also known as mochi

 

guys
a joltik attempting to loaf