shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

No. The Duct Tape Gets Duct Taped To The Helmet Too

 

YES. SOUNDS LIKE MORE TAPE TO MAKE A NOOSE WITH

 

No. Nooses Are Now Declared Illegal And Also Nonexistant.

 

YES. I'LL INVENT THEM. FROM THIS POINT ON THEY'LL BE KNOWN AS "THE VANTAS STRANGLERS"

 

[She blows a raspberry] Fine Martyr Yourself, Solidify The Whole Cult Deal Forever.

 

do you ever walk in on something
and you just know youre going to regret asking what the christ is going on
but you ask anyway

 

IT'S NOT MARTYRDOM IF MY DEATH IS AS POINTLESS AS THE BLUNT WEAPON I'LL BLUDGEON MYSELF WITH.

 

Did You Mean: My Entire Fucking Life

No And Also No, You Underestimate Trollkinds Ability To Spin A Sensible Suitably Martyr-Like Reason Out Of Thi Air And Conspiracy Theories.

 

I GUESS IF I'M DEAD MY CORPSE WON'T EXACTLY CARE WHAT BIZARRE SHIT YOU DO TO IT IN THE NAME OF RELIGION. MARTYR AWAY!

 

[The least enthusiastic fistpump] Hooray.

 

well if that aint just the most miserable existence i ever did hear of

how do you do it

this might have been funny five death wishes ago but thats enough of the suicide variety hour with karkat as your charming and vulgar host

i fully intend to drag you kicking and screaming down the road
of life for the rest of eternity so get used to it bitch

 

*Flips his bedsheet cowl over his face.*

*Lets out a muffled shriek to rival Chroma's.*

 

-In walks the most disheveled looking clown in existence. He's inexplicably covered from head to toe in burn marks.-

huh...sounds like someones h4ving 5 ɽe4l b4d d4y, eh?

 

*He's still going.*

*The Vantas Lungs(tm) at work.*

 

I didn't know organics could get that loud. At least small ones.

 

[you can see him rev up a tantrum and then deflate a little bit. This Conversation Has Happened Many Times]

I'LL DEFINITELY SCREAM, SO I HOPE YOU'RE PREPARED FOR MY UNHOLY SHRIEKING TO BECOME THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR EXISTENCE. IF YOU'RE NOT DEAF IN A SWEEP, THE NEXT FOREVER'S GONNA BE *HELL*

HA HA, OH, *WOW*

 

I'm sorry! I've never met organics outside of this place!

 

MY CONDOLENCES FOR MEETING ME, THEN.

WE CAN ABSOLUTELY BE THAT LOUD, BUT MOST OF US AREN'T SO IMPRESSIVELY FULL OF HOLLERING. ONLY WE LUCKY FEW ARE BLESSED WITH SUCH PHENOMENAL LUNG CAPACITY AND SUCH HORRENDOUS VOLUME CONTROL.

 

You could be a wonderful singer!

 

WHAT PART OF "HORRENDOUS VOLUME CONTROL" FLEW PAST YOUR PAN? UNLESS SINGING ON YOUR PLANET TRANSLATES TO "SCREAMING THE LYRICS LIKE I'M BEING MURDERED AND RECITING POETRY IS MY ONLY HOPE FOR ESCAPING ALIVE" IN WHICH CASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE