shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

the l4ds still going. did someone off his lusus oɽ something?

they s4y the w4ɽmeɽ the blood the loudeɽ the scɽe4ming. its usu4lly the gold ones th4t will end up ɽo4sting you though

 

MY SHIT: EAT IT

 

uh. someone piss in youɽ ɽecupeɽ4coon oɽ something?

 

YES. IT WAS A CLOWN. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR KIND.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR CUTE LOWBLOOD ANECDOTES AND PUT THEM IN THE GAPER WHERE THEY BELONG? SEND THEM ON THEIR FATEFUL VOYAGE TO THE SEWERS AND NEVER HACK UP THAT BULLSHIT AGAIN

 

i couldve swoɽn it w4s tɽue though.
like.
dude.
eveɽ he4ɽd 4 fish sque4l? its the l4mest sound ive eveɽ he4ɽd. it sounds like theyɽe choking on theiɽ own gills, the slimy b4st4ɽds. c4nt scɽe4m foɽ shit. like lemme tell you: theɽe w4s this one pompous 4sshole my buddy vulc4n coɽked in the nose th4t m4de this weiɽd whistling sound with his gills wheneveɽ he w4s bɽe4thing 4ll he4vy in between the shouting which sounded 4ll n4s5lly n shit. ɽe4l poindexteɽ th4t one lemme tell you.
...
shit wh4t weɽe we t4lking bout 4g4in?

 

YOU WERE SHUTTING THE FUCK UP AND LETTING THE ADULTS WHO *AREN'T* ROT-PANNED MORONS HAVE A CONVERSATION. YOU WERE ALSO PROMISING *NEVER* TO SPOUT OFF DETAILS ABOUT YOUR VILE FUCKING OCCUPATION IN MY PRESENCE EVER AGAIN.

TRY THIS RADICAL CONCEPT ON FOR SIZE: MAYBE *NONE* OF THOSE SHITTY SAYINGS HOLD MORE WEIGHT THAN A SINGLE GRAIN OF SAND? IT'S ALMOST LIKE HIGHBLOODS COME UP WITH REASONS TO JUSTIFY TREATING THE PEASANTRY LIKE TRASH! WHO'DA THUNK?

 

oi im not entiɽely ɽot-p4nned! ive just let the stuff th4t goes on in my he4d get 4 little fuzzy is 4ll.
my memoɽy might be one of the fuzzy things but i c4n still tell i neveɽ s4id th4t soɽt of stuff 4bout myself.
i dont think i eveɽ even mentioned my occup4tion. i tɽy not to tell people 4bout it when im not on the job bec4use i dont w4nt them thinking im sc4ɽy n 4ll.
eveɽyone thinks im 4 ɽe4l fɽight though 4nyw4ys. i couldnt tell you why.
i dont even ɽemembeɽ how m4ny goldies h4ve t4ken one look 4t me 4nd given me 4 good z4p 4ll fɽightful like. 4nd i just go up in smoke yknow?
wh4t funny s4yings 4ɽe we t4lking 4bout? i tɽy to st4y 4w4y fɽom the ones th4t get 4ll deep 4nd politic4l. they give my thinkp4n 4 good thɽobbing.

 

[he drags his hands down his face and screams into his palms]

OKAY, SO MAYBE YOUR FRIEND JUST PUNCHES FISH FOR FUN! WHO AM I TO JUDGE HOW YOU SPEND YOUR LEISURE TIME? EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR IGNORANCE HOLE AND START TALKING I BRIEFLY LOSE THE ABILITY TO COMPREHEND SPEECH, SO FORGIVE ME FOR MAKING A FEW ASSUMPTIONS

 

I Drink To Forget.

[It Screm Time. Duet Screaming Now.]

 

What? He hit on Me, so I hit Him. Fair trade.

 

[scream 3x combob]

 

-tannig seems to forget karkat is there, and stares vacantly at the substance on his hand for uncomfortable period of time before suddenly becoming aware of his surroundings again and responding.-
wha-how do i spend my leisuɽe time? whatd i s4y 4bout that 4g4in?

 

Whoa Fam it's not like I killed Him or anYthing.
Dude just wouldn't leave Me alone so I broke His nose a little is all.

 

I!!! HATE CLOWNS!!!!
I WOULD RATHER RIP ALL MY TEETH OUT WITH RUSTY PLIERS AND SHOVE THEM BACK IN UPSIDE-DOWN THAN DEAL WITH SOMEONE SO FUCKING HIGH THEY'VE LEFT THE ATMOSPHERE AND HIS BFF CHUCKLES THE
ASSAULT CLOWN

NO, NORMALLY A LITTLE PLATONIC FACE-PUNCHING ISN'T SOMETHING I'D BLINK TWICE AT, BUT YOU TWO ARE SO FAR FROM NORMAL YOU PROBABLY JUST HEAR STATIC WHEN ANYONE SO MUCH AS *THINKS* WORDS LIKE "NORMAL", "STANDARD", "NOT BUGFUCK CRAZYPANTS OUT OF YOUR MIND LOONY"

 

"Constantly." Ford sighs.

 

"Have you ever considered the possibility that there might be something you don't need to know?"

 

Valiska would answer if she could hear anything over the screaming, but her ears are currently flattened against her head, which is now underneath Ford's sweater.

 

this place just fosters that feeling huh
wander off for five minutes and some other weirdass series of circumstantial bullshit results in another improbable scene thats impossible to puzzle out unless you ask the cursed question
what the hap is fuckening
i feel like i walked into the season finale of scream queens

[dave only looks a little phased by the trio of scream; he has weathered many a tantrum previously and seems mostly exasperated]

 

Ford wraps his arms around his sweater catte and gently covers the lumps he thinks are her ears with his hands. There are times when he's really glad he can neither hear nor smell as well as she can.

"If the queen starts screaming," Ford says with a sigh, "it will be the season finale."

 

Once Ford's very large hands are cupped over her ears, Valiska can concentrate well enough to remember she's dreaming and doesn't have to hear the screaming. It's just that it goes against her nature to tune out one of her own fosterlings.

After a few moments of not hearing anything other than the sound of Ford's heartbeat and their breathing, which naturally seems to fall into the same rhythms, she decides to come out of Sweatertown and look around, her expression rather peevish. "No season finale," she huffs. "But."

She takes a deep breath. It comes out as half-yowl and half-hiss: "CUT IT OUT, YOU LOT! YOU'RE NOT BROKEN, YOU'RE JUST BEING PISSY!"