shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"It gets easier," Ford says after a moment. "Adulthood doesn't mean you don't want to throw tantrums. It just means you know throwing tantrums is just going to make it all worse. And sometimes we all slip up. You'll get better at holding it in with time. You obviously have a learning curve."

 

"You do sound like you're pretty good at it most of the time," Valiska says. "Both of you. Dave and Karkat, Karkat and Dave. I just happened to run into Karkat on an off day. When he and my kid and this other Kankri here were all having a screaming contest." She raises an eyebrow. "I know a girl named Jade who loves sausages."

 

*norm tries to stop himself from snickering*

*sausages*

*he knows what she means but...*

*sausages*

 

I was trying t9 av9id ver6ally assaulting y9ur ward.

 

IF YOU MEANT TO SAY "LEARNING MOUNTAIN, OH WAIT I LIED IT'S A VOLCANO HERE TO BLAST YOU INTO ASHY OBLIVION, THANKS FOR PLAYING" SURE.

OK, NO, I'M JUST BEING A SHIT. HUMILITY ISN'T MY FAVORITE FLAVOR, IF YOU HAVEN'T GUESSED!

 

thanx yo i try
anyways this jade happen to be jade harley and slash or have dog ears
probably a different jade just cause
sometimes she has a hard time not chasing cats humanoid or otherwise
but still

 

"Yeah, she's Jake Harley's granddaughter," says Ford. "Has a big white dog that always jumps up on me named Bec, and she and the dog got into a transportalizer accident when she was little. She sleepwalks a lot, and she chases after Valiska some, but mostly because Valiska's one of her favourite teachers." He takes a deep breath. "Jake and I were in the revolution together. He's the only human I've ever met who actually spoke Forsoothly outside of the SCA."

 

Chroma are you doing the obsessive worship thing?

 

"No problem." Valiska laughs. "If I expected humility, I wouldn't have taken Stanford and Severin as mates."

"You were both. Very trying. In that particular moment. But her, I love. You, the jury's still out on."

 

holy shit
i mean obviously its a different timeline so she probably never met me and idk why im getting riled up because i have my very own jade to torment until she has to beat me off with a rolled up newspaper and file a restraining order
butttttt can you tell her dave strider said hi

 

Y9u keep acting as if I was s9meh9w pers9nally attacking y9u 6y n9t attacking s9me9ne else. I didn't tell her t9 yell 6ack and I d9n't kn9w why the tr9ll wh9 was n9t even inv9lved in 9ur discussi9n started t9 yell.

Y9u're just--
*GROAN. Back to frustrated wrist gnawing. It's a good thing he's got big blunt teeth or he'd be doing far more damage than just shredding the already distressed bandages.*

 

Stop that!

-She grabs for him.-

 

"Well, the other two did apologise for nearly shredding my ears. You're behaving like screaming was doing me some sort of favour, because if you hadn't screamed like a banshee having a death orgasm, you'd have had to say mean things to my daughter, who can say mean things right back at you, I assure you. Though I wish you'd both not." Valiska rolls her eyes. "But for what it's worth, I don't think it was exactly personal."

 

*Squint.*

Can I help y9u?

 

"Sure," says Ford. "But I'm not sure we know anyone named Strider. I think I'd remember you."

"Good luck with that," Ford says. "But remember, he can't really hurt himself here unless he intends to."

 

You can help me by thinking those filthy bandages off and then thinking yourself some clean ones, not gnawing at your wrists like a moron!

 

These were clean 9nes.

And I'm not all9wed to scream anym9re, s9 what w9uld y9u have me d9??

 

I dunno throwing things and screaming helps me. Have you considered picking a fight, or going off to be alone?

 

N9 and n9.

 

[even though he knew full well that was probably the case, he deflates a little bit anyway]

damn well
i was a bigshot movie director in a different timeline so maybe other me is honing his artistic genius assuming i exist and didnt get my fool ass killed in your timeline
im good at that
glad im memorable though ive honed my fascinating and unique mannerisms for many years