shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"We were also half joking," Valiska demurs, "but no-one can ever tell, with me, apparently. There's a running thing in our household where Chroma complains because Stanford won't let her do black hole experiments inside a gravity well, particularly not the one our planet is actually in. Stanley says it's his eighth-grade science teacher's revenge from beyond the grave."

 

*MORE BACK STEPS. This family terrifies him.*

 

Mi! -chases, bats them around and pounces on them-

 

[She gives a lopsided grin]
This Is Oppression, Clearly. Im Being Oppressed. Mooooom How Come Everyone Else In My Grade But Me Gets To Play With Blackholes In The Gravity Well???? This Is Meeeeaaaaaan.

[In an obnoxious singsong]
Were Gonna Murder The Fuck Out Of The Condesce~

I Have Yet To Actually Make A Blackhole Happen.

 

I d9n't intend t9 6e present f9r y9ur "success".

As the 96ject 9f...*He shudders a little. Ew, pulling rank,*...cult w9rship, I 9fficially declare 6lack h9les t9 6e a fucking terri6le idea.

 

......................
[She narrows her eyes]

 

*He stares right back.*

 

No Gods, No Masters, We Violate The Laws Of Physics Like Alternians.

 

N9 6lack h9les.

 

Try To Stop Me.
[She starts drawing equations into thin air, frowning as she prepares to do some SCIENCE]

 

...I mean hey, it's dreamspace, go for it. Epistemus knows we've done worse than a black hole or two.

 

D9n't...d9 that.

*He's TRYING.*

 

"Good luck telling gravity that," Ford says, breaking his silent amusement. "I'm pretty sure they serve a useful function in the ecology of the multiverse. I just don't want one in my lab which is in my house which is on the planet I live on."

 

"If Mrs. Marzetti was still alive you can bet I'd be filming it every time you have to tell her no, Sixer. And I've still got that one 'Because I said so' recorded."

 

"That part is definitely not a joke," Valiska says gleefully. "Hi, Stanley. I should've known you would come when called."

 

[She give shim a thumbs up without looking up from her maths]

That Was So Weak Even As A Wiggler Id Have Laughed At You And Done The Thing Anyway.

... Can I Do It To An Alternate Universe Planet We Dont Live On?

 

"As long as it's completely devoid of life, I guess," Ford says with a shrug. "What if there were baby courinni there? But not until you can prove to me that you won't get sucked in yourself."

 

...
Anyways.

Aren't y9u still a wiggler?

 

Valiska looks at him sidewise. "I thought wigglers were bigger than grubs but not as big as Chroma." She holds her hand up somewhere between knee and waist height.

 

It depends 9n c9ntext.