shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Tee bee ache I think the big ol' truck himself oughta follow in the footsteps of all the other Primes and head on down to the Well already. Get outta here big man.

Screamer can follow him too, actually. Let's have all the fragging chosen ones throw a party on the 'verse's biggest bomb ever. Now THAT'S a religious philosophy I can get behind.

 

"Chosen one" my aft, but he's at least doing better than the fraggin' interim government.

Spoiler: Wires no. War crimes and also death wishes

Prime can go die in a fire, though, with ya on that one. At least we never pretended like it was for the natives' own good.

 

Heeeeeeeyyyy didn't you say you were DJD once? Or maybe it was one of your buddies. One of the pretty ones.

HAH jokes on me you're all lovely. [He attempts to wink with only one optic again.]

I guess Primo's out of your jurisdiction but c'mon, Wreckers took potshots at ol' Megs all the time. Why ain't Tarn never took a potshot at Big Ops? He's got a rifle now, don't he?

 

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCUTIE FAAAAACEEEEEE

 

ohai

 

"Oh, okay, Karkat. Everyone's talking across everyone else--it's easy to forget who's heard what. I'm glad you're aware of the multiple timelines." Ford sighs. "Also, to be perfectly honest, I've never seen 'worshipping' anything other than the Divine Source of the Universe--assuming that it does exist, of course, but I think that it probably does--work out really well for people. Beings more powerful than mortals who actually want to be worshipped usually shouldn't be."

 

3v3ryon3 1n th1s thr34d 1s 4 FUCK1N SQU4R3 who n33dz to l1ght3n up!!!!!!

 

I--YES, I'M AWARE OF MULTIPLE TIMELINES? I'M SHACKING UP WITH A GOD OF TIME FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE. HE IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE ONLY OTHER PERSON *MORE* AWARE OF THAT BULLSHIT THAN I AM.

AND OF COURSE IT DOESN'T WORK OUT. IF IT'S A REAL PERSON WHO IS, UNLIKE KANKRI OVER THERE, STILL ALIVE AT THE TIME OF THE CULTENING--YOU STRIP THEM OF THEIR RIGHT TO BE A PERSON WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. IF THEY WANT IT, THEN YOU'VE JUST GIVEN A FALLIBLE PERSON AN EXCUSE TO DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING THEY WANT, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED.

 

I might 6e deceased 6ut I still d9n't appreciate 6eing culten...ized.

 

WELL NO SHIT, I DON'T APPRECIATE THEM DECIDING I'M YOUR REINCARNATION, DESTINED TO ~FINISH YOUR WORK~
THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE WEIRD HERE BECAUSE NORMALLY DEAD PEOPLE DON'T COME BACK TO SEE WHAT NONSENSE THE ZEALOTS ARE UP TO. SHOCKING, I KNOW!

THEY'RE STILL UNPERSONING YOU, YOU JUST WEREN'T AROUND TO TELL THEM WHERE THEY COULD SHOVE THEIR RELIGIOUS ICONOGRAPHY WHEN THE CULTIES FIRST GOT STARTED

 

[Wires looks distinctly uncomfortable.] ...I can't answer for Lord Tarn. And I hope to Primus he's never here himself.

[Yes religious discussion good let's get back to that instead of considering the bosses showing up.] I mean, worship of the Divine Source can still end fraggin' horribly, especially in theocracies. Just 'cause the priests say they're handin' down the word'a Primus or whoever doesn't mean they are.

 

The Others Have Already Explained. Im Not On Alternia Right Now And To Be Honest I Only Consider Fighting Cause Condy Wants Aliens In Her Pitch Quadrant So Badly She Sets Other Universes On Fire Given Half The Chance. My Plan, Our Plan, Lets Not Forget The Two Nutjobs I Crossed Portals With, Is Honestly Just To Help As Many People Get The Fuck Out Of Dodge Of Our Dear Empresss Garbage Float Of Doom As Want Our Help. There Is That Still Objectionable You Pompous Assface?

Coolio I Dont Give A Fuck About Being Acceptable, Do I Need To List All The Credentials By Which I Fall Short of Expectations By Just About Everyone With Any Kind Of Opinion On Me Ever? Listen I Try, And I Havent Murdered Anyone Outside Of Selfdefense Since I Heard About Your Teachings, So Maybe Stop Being So Judgemental.

That Sounds Sick As Fuck Where Do I Sign Up?

 

I'm going to fight you so hard, Lord Starscream is trying, don't lump him in with the fragging Prime!

 

"I knew you knew about multiple timelines," Ford says with a sigh, "just not which ones you knew about?" He shrugs. He has 12 PhDs. He's not stupid.

 

Ford's eyes widen. "No."

He takes a deep, long breath.

"No, you absolutely may not become a suicide bomber."

 

I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT FUCK, MY DUDE. I'M JUST ASSUMING EVERYONE HERE IS FROM A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE AND/OR TIMELINE UNLESS THEY KNOW EACH OTHER, AND THAT'S WORKED SO FAR

 

Nowhere anymore, thank Adaptus. Arent you organic anyway? D'you even have an alt mode?

I mean, if that's who I think it is if anyone I should be fighting him, but somehow I don't really want to.

 

Oh slag no if he ever shows up I'm MAD FRAGGED LEL I was jus wondering since he got him a fance rifle now.

Chosen ones can suck my spiiiiiiiiiiiike.

 

I'unno that he hasn't. We don't really keep track of who the bosses are going after unless we get called in ourselves. [Shrug.]

 

O that's true. Ain't nothing comin' down the lines from the Wreckers in years so I might be fired, not like I'd know shit about fuck.

Hey hey, if I defected from one side and got fired from the other does that cancel out?