shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Most things are annoying sometimes. Wanna play with my wings since I'm playing with your tentacle?

 

YESSSSS

*Squirm shifts around so that he can, very carefully, inspect wings* Is flying like swimming?

 

That depends on if swimming is like flying!

 

-Ren is sometimes a trader. They are probably not the kind of merchant he's expecting, all covered in scars and sand and dried oil. They've also never seen sweet potatoes before. They squint suspiciously at them, pick one up and Investigate it thoroughly. Smells like dirt.-

Do they grow in sand or swamp?

-what do you mean there are more than three planting biomes?-

 

....

o h

 

But, I think swimming is probably different because you don't fall the same, but they're probably pretty similar! Liquid is like dense gas, I mean. Kinda. Could be cold gas. Sometimes gasses get so thick and dense that even when they're not liquid they act kinda like liquids, that's cool! But I can't fly in that.

 

I'd like to fly some day... Hm, light liquids?

 

[He blinks. Weird person. Dark like Nadi? But scarred and less clean than him. Good working hands though. Tough. And interested in buying produce.
He begins gesticulating animatedly. You want a nutrient rich, well plowed soil for the roots to grow big and flavorful. And not to forget his plant based fertilizer, homecrafted in the shed furnished for the purpose. And then you need to water the plants regularly and love them a lot. But if Ren does not like sweet potatoes maybe they'd rather like milk? Here's a milk can. It is golden because this is the premium milk from his beloved cow Hanako.]

 

Hmmm! I wonder if you could in light gravity! Because the ocean you were in was dense enough to hold up your weight with bouyancy. But air doesn't do that. You have to be lighter with air, but it pushes you up too depending on how it's flowing. So if the gravity is lighter, you might be able to fly, but the air might be too thin to respond to your jets. We could try it though! It'd be fun!

-She bops a tentacle against her cheek.-

 

[A pair of jetlings eye the golden can interestedly. Whatever is in it is surely Interesting. Or they can just eat the can. Gold is tasty. Does the one with all the crates have more gold cans? Neither of them seems up to just asking yet, hiding behind each others' half-grown wings and nudging at each other as if to say 'no, you go,' but they are eyeing up the crate the can came out of.]

 

WELL WITH WATER you have to have some kind of ballast. SO that you can float or sink? INTERESTING.

*Gentle grasper boop*

 

If me and Sten tried to swim in water I think it'd rip up our jets. Ow!

 

-Frowny face- Greenland then. -That's mostly Okranite territory, not good for even setting up a farming base unless they're ready to actually Make a Move on the Holy Nation. Maybe if they wanted to start sending supplies to Flotsam? No, the Den can barely feed itself right now... Ren hands the farmer a short string of 1-cat coins and chomps into the sweet potato they were investigating-

...

-it's not worse than raw greenfruit, but that's not really saying much. Like greenfruit (which isn't green and is actually a vegetable) it's probably much better cooked. They then regard the milk. Probably exotic shit like bloodrum, given the can- What's this?

 

[Those sure are mechanical beings eyeing his dairy up. Huh. Not stranger than Witchie and Dessie though. Kind of acting similarly too. He smiles at the thought. Oh well they'll try to communicate with him somehow if they want to know something.]
...

 

[He cringes a little, rummages in his backpack and pulls out a portion of baked sweet potato, which honestly smells much better. Tastes better too. This stuff has won him awards. Well, so did the sweet potatoes themselves but anyway.
As for the milk... he points at the cow face on the side of the can. Then pulls out a slightly crinkled photograph of a pretty black and white patterned cow looking content and peaceful in a field of grass with her sister. Dear sweet Hanako.]

 

THAT'S AWFUL

*Careful wing pet*

 

I don't think I could vent right underwater, either, even in my root mode. Too bad! Otherwise you could take me down somewhere.

 

Yes, I could. I COULD take video though, I mean I CAN. I just don't usually.

 

I'd love that!! I could take video of flying, too!

-She beams at him.-

 

-ok yes that's much better. And pretty solid for the size of it. Maybe the outpost at the delta is fertile enough to grow it? Ren's still a little baffled by the milk though. The critter is clearly a companion- maybe a pack animal like the bulls? Doesn't look like a guard animal- but he gets milk from it? Without it dying? Weird.-

-Now the question is: did the earlier empires have anything like this? Have the tech hunters run across a similar... foodstuff? (Is it a veggie?). Will they have to ask the farmer guy how to grow this shit (would that even work? Most farmers aren't forthcoming on their trade secrets) or track down six different books to figure it out-