shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Anyway. That's the plan. Maybe I'll lock him in a room on Obrizon. He can be home, that'd be nice, right?

 

[dave turns his head towards the sweet potatoes and squints at them. thank god for shades, he...he isn't exactly sure what he's looking at. weird long potatoes? the man grew up on process cheese food, okay, he can't be blamed]

those sure are some uh
good vegetables there bro
top knotch

 

[Laeto:] An Obrizen, I think? Atta and sire don't like him much. He's mean.

[EXCITE BIRB!!!! Many wingflutters, much smile!!! Wow!!!! That whole big can just for them!!!!] Laelaelaelae! Look!!!

[Laeto does, in fact, look, and chirps just as excitedly as his brother. They set about trying to figure out how to open the can without spilling this "milk" stuff inside it.]

 

[The farmer nods, tipping his straw hat. And dusting off the apron of his pink frilly dress. He signs: 'Growing your own food gives you some real appreciation for simple things. Try this.' And holds out another plate of the baked sweet potato. It is nicely but subtly spiced, very much a simple wholesome meal that can keep ou on your feet for a long day of hard work.]

[The farmer grins again. That's just adorable. He could show them how to open the can but he guesses they'd like to try fguring it out by themselves first.]

 

oh thanks dude i got some mad rumblies in my tummy im sure thisll cure my ills

[dave takes the plate and pokes at it with a fork for a few seconds before he takes a bite. oh, yuck, vegetables--there's not enough sugar in this for him. he takes another bite, though, fully intent on finishing it. it's not bad, it's at least not made of bugs, but dave's still working on eating things that haven't been through at least three factories]

 

I think I get the idea. -sildes out to perch on a ledge outside the vent and look down- I know from Obrizon fuckers.

 

(a rat approaches @Oak Tree Town's Darling curiously.)

(l e a p onto one of the crates. she snif. a food? obtain foods?)

 

-she appears with a fanfare that's been pitch shifted way the fuck DOWN and... burning violets? She also doesn't seem to notice either. Do demons need sleep? She looks like she could use a nap-

-because she's a shit, she offers him... an apple? It's the most apple-y apple that ever appled. Not "generic red" but straight out of a renaissance painting, red-orange-yellow in striations. For a second it flickers bone off-white and back-

 

Squeak? -snif snif-

 

(snef snof snif)
(henlo... is an friend? grooms whiskers thoughtfully)

 

"...I did not think orange vegetables were safe for humans."

 

"Those are orange vegetables from Earth, my love. They're what I thought I was eating the time I got so sick."

 

"Hello, my name is Lysander!" -polite snif-

 

Valiska sighs. "You scared me worse than I scared you with the chocolate."

 

"No, you didn't," Ford says flatly. "You weren't the one who gave me the orangeroot."

 

i am not eating that hell apple
appreciate the effort but apples where im from dont normally change fucking color
genetically modified though they may be

 

*blinks*

who4. didnt think i h4d h4d th4t much sopoɽ yet if i could be quite honest with you. welp.

-Tannig kicks the wicked elixir and becomes fixated on the pretty colors

the majority of which he's really just seeing in his head.-

 

[Lid get!!! But... How do they get the milk out? It's too heavy to just tip over without spilling everywhere! Laeto summons a cube, and it fits through the neck of the can just fine, but he can't seem to figure out how to pull it back out without spilling its contents back into the can.

Tiniest serious faces. This is a troubling engineering problem! But not troubling enough yet to try and find auntie Lacuna. They will solve this puzzle.]

 

[Nods. Good. The city slicker will yet learn to appreciate the fruits of his hard labor.]

:O
[GASP!! A tiny animal friend. So tiny. He rummages in his backpack again pulling out a piece of cheese he got from cabin country. Here tiny friend, have a bit of cheese. Tiny friends really, the other rat that can talk may have some of it as well. That'll probably be better for them than uncooked yams. Maybe? He doesn't know much about rats, he should ask Agate when he sees her tomorrow. And make sure Ravage doesn't follow him here, he might just try to eat the rat.]

[Aww. He's still smiling, watching the robots try and figure out how to do this. Adorable.]

 

(an fren! she greet :3)

(!!! c h e e s e g e t)
(she grasp the cheese, turning it around and around until it is Correctly Angled To Eat. she chew busily. what a good human. the rat grinds her teeth contentedly)