sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

have you seen the Mewtwo Doing Cat Things pictures? Stuff like Mewtwo being scared of a bike or Mewtwo seeing a box and proceeding to squeeze himself into it.

 

YES AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL

 

Guzma loves regular bugs just as much as bug Pokemon. It's a ground rule of Team Skull that nobody is allowed to harm the spiders in the Shady House.

 

Are there regular bugs?

 

Kind of?

 

Every time i learn more about the pokeverse the more confused and slighty alarmed i become

 

General headcanon: almost every video game protagonist ever has hoarding and kleptomania issues. :::PPP

 

Also almost every video game player, to be honest. >_>

 

One I share with @Pumpkageist for you all: Maxie's Camerupt is called Chimney, and it is perhaps the single stupidest member of one of the world's top ten stupidest Pokemon species.

Maxie absolutely dotes on it and maintains it has Hidden Depths.

 

kanaya can't eat eggs and would prefer if you didn't eat them around her

 

karkat always has mouth sores because he's constantly accidentally biting the inside of his mouth

 

Went to see Wonder Woman. Steve Trevor asked how the Amazons spoke such good English and Diana said they speak hundreds of languages. This did not answer my question on the subject, which is how they speak perfect modern English (and assorted other languages) when they're on an isolated island and have no contact with the outside world.

I came to the conclusion that they are significantly less isolated than advertised and get somebody out there to take a look around and take a bunch of linguistic notes at least once a generation or so, and Hippolyta has just ordered that everyone be really really quiet about Man's World(TM) culture around Diana because she knows this kid will go "OMIGOSH THAT'S SO COOL I WANT TO SEE" if she hears about literally anything interesting.

 

Spoiler: nsfw

Diana: I WANT TO SEE A DICK
Hippolyta: DIANA NO
The other Amazons: DIANA NO
Diana: DIANA YES

 

Spoiler

She didn't react much to seeing one, so presumably either the twelve-volume treatise on sex was sufficient, there are trans Amazons with original plumbing, or both. :::PPP

 

On another linguistics-related note, movie!DCU has translated Linear A and Cretan hieroglyphics due to the sterling codebreaking work of a mysterious Dr. Anna Price, who published groundbreaking papers in a major linguistics journal but nobody has been able to track down otherwise.

(Seriously, the Amazons have definitely preserved those scripts.)

 

This kinkmeme prompt is now my Legolas/Gimli headcanon.

 

Because I'm rereading Homestuck and I'm upset at the lack of interaction between Rose and Dirk:

Dirk did the speech at Rosemary's wedding. Because everyone were like shit. lets be tricksters and flying around, no one noticed he got a bit choked up.

Except Rose did. A hug was awkwardly albeit very eloquently scheduled for a later date in order to not tricksterify Rose on her important day.

 

Raw or lightly-seared slices of red meat are a staple and famous comfort food for trolls the way chicken noodle soup is for us humans.

What sort of meat exactly, and how and whether it should be seasoned, is a matter of much debate both between blood colours and between individuals. Everyone is convinced that their own way (or their moirail's way) is the best.

 

Toriel's maiden name is Whitemane.