shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Earth and flame, a half breed.

 

Hm. I can't say it wouldn't be disorienting to leave the Well again before I'm ready. The idea is certainly familiar even if we might be using different words for similar things. I haven't seen anyone native to the... immaterial part of existence, but then I'm not so conceited as to claim I know everyone who's ever passed through. The Well of All Sparks is obviously quite large.

Yes, that does sound familiar.

...well, that would make about as much sense as anyone else's theory.

Many people, multiple times.

 

EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOW!

 

Hello.

 

-she summons up sticky girly drinks with umbrellas and plastic swords in them-

They're... not supposed to be people, really. That's not their Place in the Design. By their own rules they're not supposed to feel. So they don't. Because they're the hands of Order, and Order doesn't give a shit about the way things are, only how they're supposed to be.

I should probably start from the top so you can understand just how fucked up Order and the Design and the Angels' fucking enslavement to it is.

No.

 

Yea? Hello pink!

You know how to do it! *Hell yes girly drinks*

 

-she will probably go from 'girly drinks' to 'gin and tonic, easy on the tonic' to 'straight fucking whiskey' pretty soon, but for now it's a girly drinks demon party all up ins-

 

Oh! An entirely different system, then?

Yes, being dumped in the Fade from the material plane was bad enough to give me and a few others some impressive nightmares. And that was before we met the Nightmare, too. So I can see how it would be equally upsetting from the other end, given the violence of the Breach.

[He manifests a comfortable chair and curls up in it, a small board with parchment and a quill popping up in his lap. Time to take all the notes.]

I would appreciate it. I think I might be missing some of the core aspects of it here.

Yes?

 

*He's just happy with his girly drinks, get him krunk with good taste*

I suppose? My mother was a Succubus and my father was a Salamander. Where I am from, Succubi are related to the earth and Salamanders are related to fire, most of my magic is centered around gemstones due to that. Rubies are my specialty.

 

GOOD. Hi.

 

So traditional procreation, then? That's amazing! I know a predisposition for certain types of magic runs in different mage families-- I suppose you would be closer to an elf than a spirit as I understand them.

 

Eh? I guess. It's rather rare to happen with cross breeds like myself, my siblings didn't make it too well. I mean, I also preside over pain. I feed off of it! That and rubies.

 

Oh, you actually managed to get a physical form into your Fade? That's... interesting. I won't say it's impossible for a living mech to enter the Well, but I've only ever heard of Primes doing so. And that from those who are here, not topside Primal propaganda. Er. Not here-here, 'currently residing in the Well'. Apologies, it's been... quite some time since I was able to interact with anything outside it. Incorporeality and all that.

Who are you, then? I don't think you're dead yet, but if this place isn't just an extension of the Well...

 

I'm not dead, obviously, and it isn't. I'm Lacuna. Liege Lacuna.

 

Well, prior to my own incursion into the Fade, the only record of anyone getting into physically were the Magisters who unleashed the Blight upon the world. So I suppose it's more that my time in there was remarkable for not ending life as we know it.

Are you dead, then? Um. Sorry if that's a bit rude, I didn't think before asking.

 

i died but i got better

 

[...well. If he's not comfortable revealing his city of origin, so be it. He sketches a shallow bow, not recognizing 'Liege' as a title instead of part of the stranger's name.] A pleasure, sir. Switchboard of Iacon, at your service. Or, well, as much service as I can be at the moment.

 

I'm not a guy! Gross!

 

Fair enough. The Well doesn't... hurt anyone physical who tries to enter, it's just that living mechs usually find an empty pit beneath Altihex instead of a path to the core and the immaterial... world? World is close enough.

I am indeed very dead! Have been for... quite some time, though the actual numbers escaped me long ago. If I understand some of the older spirits I'll reincorporate eventually, but... something's off with the cycle, or some such nonsense? [He shrugs.] Metaphysics wasn't my science of choice while I was alive, and somehow I doubt their explanations would make much sense even if it had been. Things go a bit circular after you sit here-- ah, there-- for a while.

 

I'm sorry? [He blinks, confused.] I'm... not sure I take your meaning. You're not a... person? That doesn't seem right.