shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

The birch wolf is aligned with destruction for preservation, and is built in the image of the birch. Maintaining a physical presence gets tiresome without reservoirs of physical-creation made from my trees to draw from. Excising bothersome elements and keeping a forest clean by consuming the weak and frail and sickened requires nourishment in destruction freely given. The consort is weak. He requires my claws to end a life and my mind to steel himself against it. In return I get to nourish on the kill. And to walk among the trees for short whiles and center myself on their serenity. Observation is Preservation. Needed to maintain the balance.
[The wolf makes a face as if he is talking about the demon equivalent of acid reflux from a bad diet. Which they incidentally kind of are.
However they take the woodcarving with a dry, rough bark paw, carefully wedging it into a gap between their bark scale-fur and sighing contentedly.]

 

[A kibble-less blank grey transformer appears just to hug Switchboard close.]
Sometimes things are hard and it's not your fault!

 

[He goes tense, not quite giving in to battle reflexes but definitely uncomfortable. Who is this stranger and how much can he get away with saying 'no' to?]

Spoiler: still depressing

No, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I went for syk, that is entirely on my own shoulders.

 

[They let go if only because they do have some amount of perception for people around them.]

Spoiler: not as depressing but a reply to theone above

Mh... I think if you realize it wasn't a good idea now that's probably good enough. People make mistakes!

 

I knew it wasn't a good idea heading into it. That's not a mistake.

 

[Cautiously offer pats????]
Uh. I dunno what to say about that but I don't think you have to feel bad um. I think you get to start over soon? And... that's good isn't it? Even if I'm sorry you got hurt before :c

 

[He can endure pats. This Is Fine.] I believe it's supposed to be good. Whether it is... [Noncommittal shrug.]

 

or you could do that i guess
im not gonna like judge your life or i guess death choices yo i dont know shit about you
that doesnt work for me cause i got like
people to take care of
cant stay dead cause without someone to rewind who knows what could happen and yeah johns got retcon powers but i dunno that he respects them well enough to be usin them willy nilly
gotta keep an eye on everybody

 

Second chances are usually good! And if you're in the well you weren't ready to have things end forever, obviously, so it's good things are going again!

 

Responsibility or micromanagement?

[Polite Voice:] If you say so, sir.

 

the fucks that supposed to mean
im not following my friends around like oh no dont eat that for breakfast because what if you do and then x happens and then y happens and we all die horrible deaths
thats stupid as hell im not some paranoid looneytoons motherfucker
its just
in the event something bad happens i can fix it
and nobody else can fix it so its my job and i gotta do it

 

Fair enough.
...I'm sorry, that was out of line. I don't even know what you are, much less what sort of abilities you have or what command you hold.

 

*Dogmeat starts howling happily*

*Dogmeat tries to remove his head form the farmers hand. He doesn't like being in the dark*

*Dogmeat starts panting happily, he loves when his ears are touched*

 

A German Shepherd is a type of dog. There a lot of different types of dogs. Golden retrievers, mountain dogs, and more. Dogmeat's kind are usually used for police work or farm work.

 

[Quiet miserable pout]
Sorry I can't help. I'd offer another hug but you didn't like the one I gave you.

 

its fine dude
hi im dave the flow of time is my bitch
actually more like time is my spouse who i love and respect but anyways
other notable powers include the ability to create ill fucking beats and deep and inspirational artworks known to have moved entire nations
whats your whole deal then

 

Oh please. I would love to be in a world where I don't get eaten for once.

 

*rolls her eyes* I agree with that

 

I don't expect you to help. I don't even know who you are.

[Metaphor is not this bot's strong suit. He blinks, bemused.] ...an artist of some sort, then?

I was Switchboard of Iacon, neurologist and mnemosurgeon, forged at the end of Nominus Prime's reign.

Spoiler: why is this robot so depressing; drug abuse and death cw

Then the war happened, I added one more data point each to 'substance abuse among medical professionals' and 'shorter lifespans of mnemosurgeons compared to the wider population' statistics, and froze my own spark with my hallucinogen of choice.

At least I didn't take anyone else out with me. That's something, I suppose.

 

an artist of all sorts yo

[dave pauses and takes this in. god damn.]
oh man thats some heavy shit dude
but uh
thats some consolation i guess
sorry yo sounds like a real fuckin crock of shit to try and deal with
big ole soup kettle full of feces