shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Oh! Sorry! I'm bad at manners sometimes! I'm Averagius! I'm from here! And kind of a Prime maybe? Primus snapped his fingers and made me by accident.

 

Quite. [He shrugs.] Don't have to anymore, at least for now. And with any luck the war will have finally stopped by the time I'm reincarnated.

 

[This Is Fine. He's just been arguing with a Prime this whole time. No big. Switchboard bows, deeply but stiffly, and tries to keep all the internal screaming off his face.] It is an honor, your Primacy; my most sincere apologies for not having recognized you.

 

[Alarmed??? Patpat???? What???]
No! Um! You don't have to... do that stuff. I'm... I'm not important? I'm just here and um try to help people? With stuff? Uh. Please, don't worry! D:

 

[Primus and all the hand, it's like the most flanderized propaganda come to life. Why. Why this. Is this actually the current Prime. Why is this his afterlife. Switch affixes his warmest Good News Senator smile instead.] Of course, your Radiance.

 

:c You're afraid of me for stuff. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I'll just- just go to there and um. Not bother you anymore.
[They point at the kindergarten corner of the rave where Baby Prime takes care of people.]
Or I can call parent?? Maybe?

 

[He can't directly contradict a Prime, but apparently Switch is much rustier at this game than he thought. At least this one doesn't seem inclined to random beheadings?] That-- if that is what you think is best, my Prime, I wouldn't dream of arguing otherwise, but I am afraid I do not see how it is... strictly... necessary? In this case?

 

If it'd make you feel better it's okay! I'm uh. I'm bad at dealing with people sometimes because I haven't ever left in here. I don't know a lot of things. Would you like a hug? Hugs always make me feel better. Or nibbles, I can get some nibbles!

 

Um.

What happened?

 

I accidentally upset someone... :c

 

I assure you, my Prime, that is entirely unnecessary, really. I'm dead, it's not like I can get much worse!

[Bless every single deity, a distraction.] Many things! I might even be able to describe some of them if you have a specific inquiry.

["Don't contradict the higher-ups" protocol warring with "don't cause trouble" protocol. Switchboard doesn't quite make teakettle noises, but he's definitely thinking them.]

 

.... O... kay...
But being upset isn't nice even if you are dead I think??? Um...

 

(There are dogs running through the Rave again. Fur everywhere.)
(So many huge strange dogs who smell strange, of metal and oil.)
Woof?

 

-quietly, in Switchboard's audial- Averagius is no Zeta, I promise you that.
-he straightens up and strides over to Averagius, catching them and swinging them in the air like a parent with a baby- Hey Aveee how've you been? (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

 

[Switch is just gonna. Sit down. In this convenient chair that wasn't here two seconds ago. And. Not put his face in his hands. At least the Prime is distracted now, even if it's because of literal divine intervention. Since when does he rate divine intervention??]

 

(One of the dogs trots over to Switchboard, and sniffs at his leg. The dog is as big in comparison to Switchboard as it would be to a regularly-sized squishie humanoid, meaning if it sits down, it can put its head on Switchboard's knee and look at him with its huge, squishie dog eyes. But right now it's just sniffing.)

 

[Ave is indeed distracted, squeeling happily and cuddling Primus]
Hi Parent!!! I've been good! I did some lessons for some of the other kids!

 

Ayyyyyyyyyyy what did you teach 'em? Cool stuff??

 

Tought them how to build things! I can build a lot of complicated stuff in here now!
[They make a weaving motion with their fingers, pulling a matrix shaped energon candy out of thin air with a grin]

 

[He holds very still, watching the organic. It isn't hurting anything, but sudden movements might change that.]