shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[He wraps her in a hug, lifting her into his arms and briefly nuzzling her face.]

 

-she kisses him softly and settles into his arms like a queen-

 

[Finally, Switch looks down; his shoulders slump. There's a little less static to his voice, but there's less of his voice at all.] ...you know how bad things were getting, Shade. There hadn't been a Cause in-- in millennia. What they had me do, what they made you work on... [He huffs something that might be an attempt at a laugh, shakes his head.] It wasn't worth it anymore. Not alone. So I left. And ran right into a 'Bot patrol, and said the first thing that came to mind that might keep them fr--

[Nope, storytime's over, time to-- no, wait, it's not time to comfort the bae, the bae hasn't initiated contact yet. Switch makes half a gesture like he wants to move closer, but stops himself before actually following through on that impulse.] ...not your fault. They did their own.

 

-Shade shakes his head, distressed and confused- You weren't alone, you didn't- you didn't have to leave. Even after I- that shouldn't have been-
-he stops, and makes a small, stilted gesture in the direction of Throttle with his head-
He's one of- the- designs-

 

Valiska smiles approvingly at Throttle--she knows that dynamic from inside quite well, and were it possible for her and Ford to do to Bill what Throttle and Scanner did to Scanner's previous owner, she would herself not hesitate--before looking up at Switchboard with a frown. "I don't think I like you very much," she says in a soft, measured voice.

 

Oh Primus dammit, kitty. He's a spike but I poked him first don't get defensive of me it ends badly for everyone involved when people try to find excuses for my tendency to be the worst person in the room, no matter which room. In comparison to me Megatron looks like a daisy hugging pacifist, sweetspark.

 

Wasn't alone? Who else did I have, Shade? The other mnemosurgeons, who by and large enjoyed their jobs? Intelligence? The medics, like I've been allowed to practice anything in that realm since I was given the needles? You were-- you were the only person I could trust, Shade, and then-- and then-- [Switchboard's not sparking, you're sparking. He sees your derailment and... takes it.]

...I. Is he? I'm sorry, I... Things only got worse after... after you died. So much worse. I can't even tell you which run he's from.

 

Ford shrugs. "I will be happy to offer explanations for that, but if it's simply the 'act' of hunting you draw sustenance from, and not the energy and Will bound into that act by the intent of the hunter, can you explain to me why you need someone to hunt for you to draw sustenance from hunting? If it's merely the act itself, there are plenty of hunters in most worlds, not all of them even sapient."

 

"He crossed a line I would not tolerate anyone crossing with Ford, no matter how much of an asshole he might have been in the heat of the moment."

 

-Shade wobbles for a moment, then folds his legs underneath himself and sits down rather heavily-
Why didn't I find you in the Well, Switch?

 

No. I can hunt myself if I so choose, but the effort of maintaining a physical form in their world is less efficient than simply demanding a debt be payed. But if the demon consort wants me to puppet his body because he is too weak to lift the knife to someone's throat himself, I will use his body to hunt. Or to walk in the forest.

 

Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttttttttttttt

 

You act like you haven't seen it yourself. It was an interesting reunion was it not, lad?

 

Interestin's about the only thing y'could call it, yeah.

 

If you disapprove of our working relationship you can take it up with your lover at any point in time.

 

Like I haven't already. -pouty pout. Someone's boyfriend is stubborn-

 

[Dryly:] Get in line, it's apparently the running theme right now. That makes, what... six, here? Seven, myself included?

[Switch sighs, sitting down himself. Perhaps a little closer than he was to Shade before.] I don't know, my--

...Why could I never find you?

 

My condolences. The consort is a stubborn one. Alas my contract is with him, not you, so we have nothing to negotiate.

 

-Shade hunches in on himself a little- I've been- -he stops, changes the subject- I hoped you might- still manage to have a good life. Last out the war...

 

You're a smug bastard and I never liked you much.