shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"I didn't actually say anything about Ford's brother," Valiska demurs. "He told you himself. There was another brother, but he died long ago."

 

"Sherman," Ford groans, and is surprised and a little guiltily delighted that his counterpart joins him in perfect unison.

 

"Dad's favourite." Ford makes a face. "Good grades, but not too good, and he never came home beat up."

 

Ford's face darkens with guilt. "Till the day he came home from the war with a wife Dad hated on sight."

 

Ford stares at Ford. "He didn't come home with a wife, he came home in a box with a flag on it."

 

Now Ford is too curious to feel guilty for being jealous of Sherman--until he found out what being Filbrick's favourite was actually like.

"Then where did--" he hesitates, trying to remember the names of the other young twins-- "where did Mason and Alex come from?"

 

"They're Stanley and Carla's grandkids, of course."

 

[Grandpa robot is just gonna popcorn.gif at these two trying to figure out differences in their universes. He knows better than to interfere, but it sure is entertaining for it to happen to someone else for once.]

 

Ford finds the idea that Stan and Carla are celebrating metallic anniversaries to be a little terrifying, but maybe Stan was less of a vengeful stalker in Blue Ford's dimension.

"So Tate is Fidds' boy, and Jezebel I know. Who is Delilah?"

 

"My daughter with Tacey McGucket, whom you don't have because the two of you decided to be adulterous idiots." Ford rolls his eyes.

 

Ford sighs. "If the option you took had ever been put on the table, I would have taken it," he says after a long moment. "But I suspect the genesis of their relationship may also have been different in your universe, too, because she didn't like me, ever, even though I never told her that she broke us up first."

 

Ford groans. "You met at Backupsmore. Not WCT, not JPL, and not Agape Lodge." His face is red. "I tend to forget, you were all still back East back then." He swallows. "I'm sorry, but I still don't understand why at least one of you didn't figure out that you were all being idiots? But I must admit, when I met them, they were already married."

 

If you are looking for me to forgive you, you are looking in vain.

Ah. I do not particularly differentiate where an information comes from, it does not particularly matter to me. Still.

 

Valiska clears her throat. "Let me guess. Very carefully, and of course, at first without even realising it, they courted you together and separately. Like we did our Severin." Her smile is a little wicked, because she knows she is pressing a point, but she's tired of this man's judgemental attitude, when he had all of the chances Ford missed in his own dimension, even if none of them put him anywhere better there. "But you cannot expect a nineteen-year-old from Jersey in the seventies to figure out how to be polyfidelitous, or even just polyamorous, on his own when neither of his prospective partners has the first idea what they're doing and one of them is conditioned to think she should be disgusted by the relationship between the other two."

 

WOW, HASHTAG RELATABLE. ALTSELVES CAN GO GET FUCKED.

 

wink

 

NO!

 

No I have to agree with your redheaded friend. "Wink" indeed.
[Wolfish grin. Will they summon up a shadow image of themselves just to make out? Maybe. They haven't decided yet.]

 

"What was that about our strange coupling urges again?"

 

"Hey, we offered, the two of you weren't having it." Lissa giggles. "And honestly, I don't think you've changed your mind."